<BR>Hi Brad,<P>I've read through most of your posts, and I feel your pain. I don't have a lot of time right now, but I want to throw a few comments at you:<P>1. Time will heal your pain. Your posts seem to rail against your imagining them together, your heartache, etc. Like my therapist said, it is like railing at a cut to hurry up and heal. This may seem trite but accept your pain for what it is right now. This may not help you, but maybe it will. Certianly don't make wild life decisions in an attempt to stop the pain, because that woon't solve it, only time will. 6 months from now, if your W is with the OM because you threw her at him, you won't be feeling any better than if the two of you worked it out and threw the bum out of her life.<P>2. Anti-deps are an individual thing. If yours aren't working, try a different prescription. They seem to vary accoridng to each person's body chemistry.<P>3. Counsel with the Harleys by phone. Saved my marriage (up to now, anyway )<P>4. Your wife is asking you how to make you feel better. Have you thought of an answer? Would it make you better to have her tell you 100%of the truth of every encounter with the OM? Would it make you feel better to move to a different state? Do you want her to write the OM a No Contact letter? Do you want her to account for every minute of her time, open her emails and cell phone bills, to ensure that there is no more secret contact? Do you want to know the last thing she told him, since contact broke off?<P>Personally, for your own peace of mind, I think you will have to deal with the issue of this guy being 5 blocks away. Harley says that some no contact situations demand a move out of state. You may need that, if you want to rebuild your marriage. And if your W wants to help that rebuilding, she should do whatever you want.<P>Talk to Steve Harley. You will NOT regret it.<P>Mike