You’re not going to believe this one!!! As most of you know, I don’t post often, but I had to let you guys all hear this one. <P>I was meeting a few women friends today for lunch and the conversation went to affairs. It was fairly well-known that one of these women had the experience of her husband having an affair with a co-worker. I don’t know this woman well so I wasn’t aware of this history. So, for the sake of myself and a couple of others who weren’t in the know, this is the story that got relayed … <P>This couple seems quite happy, in their early 40s, middle class, with a 3 kids from pre-teen to toddler. Apparently, the wife found out about his affair but chose not to confront him, at least not directly. Instead, she acted out an admirable Plan A (at least on the surface) basically being what everyone referred to as a “stepford wife”. She refers to it as her “Samantha Stevens persona” (from the Bewitched show in the 60s). Meanwhile she concocted this incredibly elaborate scheme behind the scenes. <P>She hired a PI to make sure that her suspicions were correct. She got proof, in the form of a report, time schedule and pictures. Then she set about using the information. She said she questioned the PI to boredom to find out everything she could do (legally) herself. She started checking accounts, got copies of visa bills, phone bills, she had learned where the OW’s husband worked, dates that would significant to H & OW, etc. <P>First, she sent an internet warning to both her husband and the OW. She says there are internet companies that will do this anonymously for a small fee. The message was worded so that they wouldn’t know who sent it but alluded to being someone who knew them both. It intimated that the person would tell the spouses if the affair continued. Then a letter was sent to the OW’s home. It seems OW picks up the mail on her way home – Sue (wife) didn’t send it for OW’s husband to find, just so the OW would THINK her husband was receive it. Are you still following this trail?? Wait, it gets more confusing. <P>She mailed a similar letter to her own home, but a couple of days later – the assumption was that OW would panic after receiving the 1st letter, tell H and he would spend a few days in fear. So, when she didn’t get the letter in the mail, she knew that H had intercepted it. It contained stuff she had gotten from the PI report (stuff a casual observer wouldn’t know). <P>One of the funniest ones was that she found a receipt from a florist – obviously for OW. She called the florist and pretending to be his secretary, had the flowers re-routed to herself instead!! When she received the “surprise” arrangement, she called his office and left a mushy phone message with his assistant/OW. <P>OW and H share an office at work. During this time, whenever she would call his office, he would keep her on speakerphone (so OW could hear their conversations, maybe?). He only picked up the phone when she would directly ask him to. So, one night he did something nice. The next day she called him and enthusiastically said (on speakerphone) how wonderful he was last night, etc. Everything very suggestive.<P>Meanwhile, her dark side (Sybil, we’ll call her) is making both H & OW’s lives a living hell. They’re both rushing to get the mail, to check the email, phone messages, etc. She left an email saying pictures of the lovers are being sent to both spouses. (Remember the PI’s pictures?) She did send another set of letters to their homes, but after waiting for another week, just to keep them guessing. Of course, she never received that letter either.<P>Shortly after this, the OW cracked and confessed to her husband. The affair was really over and now H was on his own with trying to protect his family, steer clear of OW and her madder-n-hell husband, and put an end to the “stalker”. <P>She called him from work one day to say that she picked up a package that was at the post-office. It’s a video tape in a plain brown wrapper, no label, no letter. Does he know what it would be? No? Oh, well, it’s probably her brother sending Xmas video. She can’t wait to get home that night & see what’s on it. By the time she got home the VCR is lying on the floor in a tangle of wires and hubby is diligently trying to get it working, but its no use, one of the kids must have put broken it. <P>H confessed the next week (but said it was a weekend fling – she knows it was going on for at least a month before she found out) and begged her to forgive him. <P>There's more stuff that I can't remember right now. <P>I’m not sure whether it was ingenious or insane, but it sure made for good conversation this afternoon. After all the laughter and jokes at lunch, I kept thinking about it all afternoon. Somehow, it doesn’t seem as funny tonight – almost harassment and downright dangerous should it have backfired, but it seemed to have the results she wanted.<P>

You know what I think, I think she should think of a career change! <P>That is ingenious and personally, it seems as though a very mature way to find out what you want. I think she did right! More than what I could have ever thought of doing.<P>ILAC<P>Just from a BS-woman's point of view

That was a very interesting story and wonderfully picturesque. Thanks for sharing.<P> To her credit, she sure knows how to create memories to replace those "yucky WS/OP" images BS so often have to deal with!<P>My only wish for her now is to get into a marriage building program. Her aim should be to find out how to make her marriage stronger and affair proof. <P>If she can put the same amount of effort into relationship building (positivity) as she does into her relationship dismantling (negativity) she and her H should be the happiest couple on the planet.<P>Without that kind of follow-up, she might as well keep her PI on speed-dial!<P>Aloha,<P>L

That is pretty wild. It's so wild its either got to be true - or - it's one of those urban myths of the "philandering world", if there is such a thing. <BR>Go figure!

Wish I had thought of it. Wish I had done it. : There is a reason the First Wives Culb is fast becoming my favorite movie ever.<p>[This message has been edited by sing (edited January 31, 2001).]

Man, I'm a WS, and I think that woman is a genius! Scary, but a genius. I hope she and her H can get past his infidelity and rebuild their relationship, but, wow, she should consider a career change. That was wild.

I think this woman is a genious, too bad I couldn't have thought of this. She was able to put an end to the relationship without her H or OW knowing it was her. Husband had to admit A and even begged her for forgivness, all the while having bad memories about the A set in instead of the good ones that are usually there. I too have found a new appreciation for the First Wives Club movie, now I just need to find the real club for First Wives<P>------------------<BR>Healing in NC

She sound like a genious to me. However funny it sounds to us, I am sure that later, after the adrenalin stopped pumping, she hurt just like the rest of us.