I use to believe that I was doing the right thing in fighting for my marriage/family.<P>I use to believe that I was setting a good exmaple for my sons.<P>I use to believe that by fighting for my marriage that I was showing others it is good to hang on. I believed people when they said I was inspiration.<P>I use to believe that this was the path that God had chosen for me.<P>I use to believe that we would be able to help others from our mistakes.<P>I use to believe that staying for our boys was the right thing to do.<P>I use to believe that as long as we were together, we would keep our boys safe.<P>I use to believe if we would just keep doing family things, that we would create good memories.<P>I use to believe that the OW would finally give up & go away.<P>I use to believe that my H was an honorable man.<P>I use to believe the best in everyone.<P>I use to believe that as long as things stayed pretty much the same our boys would be all right.<P>I use to believe if I tried hard enough my H would see it.<P>I use to believe if I prayed enough God would answer my prayers how I wanted it to be answered, because I wouldn't believe any other way was possible.<P>I use to believe that we would be happy again.<P>I use to believe that you could rebuild a marriage, even when only one person really wanted it.<P>I use to believe a heart could only break once.<P>I use to believe in happy endings.<P>I use to believe your church family would be there for you.<P>I use to believe that my H would never willing hurt our sons.<P>I use to believe that my H would always be there for our sons.<P>I use to believe that as long as we weren't openly fighting, that being together was best for our sons.<P>I use to believe that going to church together would help.<P>I use to believe that I could make it all go away.<P>I use to believe that my H would eventually lose the anger he has toward me.<P>I use to believe that moving would get rid of OW.<P>I use to believe that our problems were caused by putting our children 1st not our marriage.<P>I use to believe my H was the best Dad in the world, even better than mine.<P>I used to believe that character counted, romance didn't.<P>I used to believe that I could live without the outward sings of love, affection, etc,...<P>I use not to believe in divorce.<P>I use to believe I would grow older with this man.<P>I use to believe we look back on this, with sadness but happiness in what we gained.<P>I use to believe a lot of things, I don't any longer.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by sing (edited February 19, 2001).]

Believe that the dedication and love you have shown in the face of all that has gone wrong will yield you happyness in the end, the energy and effort you have given in this stuggle show true beauty and you will have your reward. be patient and know that you have value and that you are clearly worthy of love.<P><P>------------------<BR>in loving service<BR>chaz

((((((((((((Sing))))))))))))))

Oh sing, I'm so sorry!<P>It must be very hard for you right now. I know that most days what keeps me going is that I DO believe that I'm doing the right thing, that I do believe that the outcome of all this is going to be a greater relationship. If I lost that belief I would loose my hope. I'm very sorry for you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Please take care.

Sing -<P>It looks like it's just you an me on here tonight so how about this (say this to yourself EVERYDAY):<P>I believe that I am the best mother in the world.<P>I believe that I have perserverence to endure the worst of situations.<P>I believe and have hope under the worst circumstances.<P>I smile even when no one smiles with me.<P>I believe that I am doing the best possible thing for my family, my kids and my self.<P>I believe I am a person with a good, pure heart.<P>I believe I am a strong but gentle woman.<P>I believe I can make changes that will make my life, my kids lives and even my H's life better now than it was yesterday.<P>I believe I am not perfect, but I always try.<P>I believe that I am a good person, a smart person, a patient person, a compassionate person.<P>I believe I can do anything.<P>I believe I can be happy regardless of the situation.<P>I believe I can be a stronger person today than I was yesterday.<P>I believe in sunny days, a child's smile, and wild flowers growing in a pasture.<P>I believe in goodness.<P>I believe that I make a difference in my children's lives.<P>I believe that this world is a better place because I live in it.<P>I believe in me.<P>Sing, I'm sorry that things don't look so good today. Just don't ever get down on your self - always look for the positives. Hang in there.

((((((((((((((((((((sing))))))))))))))))))))<P>I'm so sorry you are feeling so much pain.<BR>Please think about *one* good thing... start from that, and maybe you can think about another one.. then another..<P>More hugs,<P>Meg<BR>

Sing,<BR>I’m so sorry to hear your pain, but I believe in you, sing. Like other said, think of one thing that makes your happy for now. Just ONE, OK sing. One day at a time, sing. One day at a time. My love, my thoughts, and my prayers will be with you and your family.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sing}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Sing, it is only a cyber hug, but it comes from friends’ heart like us to you.<P>OOOO<BR>

sing - your despair come through loud and clear. Please don't give up all your beliefs - especially that you are a good person. Keep in mind SKM's message. Your internal strength and our shoulders will pull you through.<P>Dave

{{{{{{{SING}}}}}}}}}<P>I believe you are a wonderful graceful beautiful woman who is strong enough to make it throught lifes up and downs. "a shipwreck soul is not at the heart of God's plan for any child of His" <P>

(((((Sing)))))<P>Don't lose hope. Keep believing!

Sing,<BR>Ouch! I know you are hurting and I'm really sorry about that. I wish there was something easy that could be said or done for you, but we all know there isn't. Please hang in there....for youself and your boys. Take care.<BR>John

Dear Sing,<P>I'm crying for your despair! I wish I could give you a real hug!!! Your few recent posts have hinted that things are not going well. When you can share more details, I would like to hear what is happening. E-mail me if you want.<P>My situation is not hunky dory either. (H is still here, but waffling big time again.) So I am probably not the person to be giving you inspirational relationship hope. <P>I can address you as a person, however. Regardless of what is happening in your marriage or even with your kids (is OS O.K.?), I KNOW that you are an amazing person. What you have been through has not destroyed you and it won't. It has made you stronger. <P>I don't know a lot about the rest of your life, but I do know what I've seen here and what you've done for me. You have helped me through some of the worst times in my life -- in ways that my local friends and family have not been able to do. When you say you are praying for me and my boys I know you are and that truly, truly helps me. Your responses to me have helped me refocus on my kids and get me through many a tough day! I may well need you again real soon! You are a warm caring person and NO ONE can take that away!<P>I can totally understand your discouragement and even your questioning of God. I know that God understands it too. It is incredibly frustrating not to be able to see the logic in His plan for us when we are stuck in a miserable, merry-go-round nightmare. Faith is hardest when you need it the most!<P>You are a gracious soul and I feel honored to have met you through this forum. Please take care of yourself for a while. You give so much to your family and it sounds like you get almost nothing in return right now. You deserve to have a little break. Any chance that you can come to the States for a while or take a minivacation by yourself?<P>You are a survivor, but you do have me worried about you a little so please let us know how things are going.

Thanks everybody. It is nice to know that people somewhere care. Ya'll don't know how much you help me. I gave myself a big pity party, even sent myself a pity party card, then went on with my day.