Hey Everybody, long time, no post. My situation with Lost-In-Love has now turned extremely bleak. She has continued to fly to Texas every couple of weeks to be with OM, all the while telling me she loves me so much. Tonight she called to tell me she is taking a leave of absence from work to get her head/heart straight. She is going to live with the OM for awhile. Silly me, I suggested jokingly a month or so ago that she should just go do it to see if it is what she wants or to get it out of her system. <sigh> I guess one should be careful on what they say...... Oh well, just wanted you all to know I am still alive. June approaches rapidly. We are signing a formal separation before she goes. Either of us can then file for divorce on 6/19. <P>We shall see.....<P>Joel

Joel-<P>I did the same thing. Suggesting my husband go with the OW so he knew whether he really wanted to be with me or not. It hurt, but he eventually came back. During that time he was with her i cut off all contact with him. It really helped me, and might have motivated him to come back sooner. Hang in there.<P>Robin

Joel. . .and now reality sets in, for your W & OM. . this may be the best thing that could have happened, even though I know it must be so painful. Hang in there and hope & pray.

Thanks for the support. I don't know if this is the end, or what, but she is going to be over 1,000 miles away. I really hate that we will still be married while they are living together, and none of his friends and family even know she IS married. <P>I guess only time can tell what will happen. At least I have improved myself and I'm ready for whichever road I take. I have lost weight and bought new clothes, and both of these things have not gone un-noticed. I was never real fat, but I am much closer to my pre-marriage weight than I have been in years. Amazing what a low fat/processed sugar diet can do, even without a lot of exercise. I still can not do much aerobics, because of my torn ACL. (Which will get operated on again next month)<P>Oh well, on a positive note, I did manage to get tickets to the Masters golf tournament next week, so happy happy, joy joy to me! <P>Later all,<P>Joel

SS4N,<P>A wife or tickets to the MASTERS, now that is a tough call. I am sorry to hear that LIL hasn't seen the light and I doubt she knows the damage she has done. I would like to encourage you to keep everything on an even keel.<P>It occurs to me the biggest risk isn't being taken by you but by her. When she gets back she may find that you are no longer waiting for her. I suspect that this affair has carried on because you have done very will with the LB's and supported her emotionally. When she is in TX, living a lie (his family doesn't know she is married), things may look a little different.<P>My only comment about this to you is: It's her loss. <P>Come by occasionally and let us know what is up and hang in there. June is fast approaching, and the meter is running faster for her than for you. You know you have done the right things and she knows she has not.<P>I have more to say, but I'll keep my mouth shut for awhile. Anyway, if you cannot go to the Masters, just remember your Old Pal JL. <P>Take care and God Bless,<P>JL

SS4N -<P>I'm so glad you posted, but sorry to read the story. The only thing that I can say at this point is that you gave it your all, and as Just Learning said - it will be her loss. You know, I still feel really bad for LIL. I felt like maybe I should have kept in contact with her - even after you told me about the stuff that happened around the tiem of your anniversary. In fact, last week, I sent her a message - just hoping that she was doing okay. I don't know if she got it or not, but I really felt like there was nothing more I could do to convince her to try and work things out.<P>But anyway, I have been wondering about both of you, you've been in my thoughts and prayers - and will continue to be. I don't know much about golf - but I guess those tickets were a good thing? Enjoy yourself, have a great time. And, again, I think you'll be just fine - I just hope the same is true for LIL.