Tonight my ex told me he does not see any point in trying any further because his heart is just not in it. He said he will be leaving again just as soon as he can.<P>This just hurts so bad. I tried to express concerns over putting the kids through his leaving again. And also the one on the way. He says that he thinks it is hurting them more if he stays and we are not able to work through things. He sees no possibility in us working through everything, and counseling is not an option because he doesn't want to work through anything.<P>Something interesting he told me tonight was that the ow called him and told him she was moving to another city because she had no reason to stay here. He said that that didn't bother him, but I truely believe it does. I'm sure that the affair is not ongoing because he realizes that the relationship with her won't last. However, the contact via the phone has continued. He says he wants to just be rid of both of us so that he just start over. <P>Our relationship has been a bit rocky lately with the revelation of this pregnancy, his working 3 jobs, etc. After he moved back in he has stated that he loves me but is not in love with me. <P>It appears to me that the ow is still playing a big part on his emotions even though he will not admit it. He claims to be about 90% over her but still misses being around her. My kids (4 & 9) are already asking if dad is leaving again. Gosh, that just kills me. Why can't he see how bad that tears them up? Does it sound like he is still in the withdrawl state? He really shows no signs about wanting to be with her, but she was the one that hurt him in their relationship. She cheated on him several times and he refused to take her back. Any suggestions as to what I can do? Also, does anyone else suspect manic depression the ws? <P>

Tulip, Have you and your exH done any counselling, either together or separately? Your exH sounds like he is in withdrawal, which may explain why he says doesn't feel anything for you right now. Yes, I also suspect manic-depression in my H (WS). Yesterday, he even said about himself that he noticed that his moods were changing rapidly. He went so far as to see a psychiatrist, but she felt that he had an agitated depression. She wanted to schedule further testing, but he hasn't followed through, yet.

My H said that also. Now he can't remember ever telling me he wanted to be on his own without anyone to answer to. <P>Funny, isn't it? Then again, the fog may make them forget the things we remember so clearly. <P>Don't take everything he says so hard. You can write it down if you want. There may come a time, you can show it to him, but he may not believe you. <P>If he is willing to work with you and you can handle that, then focus on the positive. I am at the divided road now. H has said some positive things but I feel the need to see some positive action to match those words. RE: this is not the first time H has asked to come home. <P>Like yourself, I suspect bi-polar disorders are a factor with H. I encouraged him to get counseling. The bad piece is OW is such a manipulator and selfish person that she has done more harm than good in setting H's mind in a twisted state. I once told her in a e-mail letter back in Dec, that Ow has taken H to his limit quicker than anyone else I know & I still believe that to this day. <P>If your H is willing to see a someone who can perscribe what he needs, then it may help in your recovery.<P>Hope so. <BR>L.

LetStry,<P>He agreed to counselling when he came back home, but that has never occured since he decided he didn't want to go. At the time, he was seeing a counsellor over his depression but quit going after about 5-6 weekly sessions. He was also on meds for depression, but recently quit taking those too. He did speak to his counsellor about being manic depressive, because like your h, had also noticed his mood swings. She told him after 3 sessions that she did not believe he was bi-polar. I don't believe she could make a fair diagnosis that soon, but I'm not a professional. The stage he is in right now, he won't even hear of counselling. I suspect the reason he quit going to counselling was because of the mood changes. While he was going he was really gung-ho about dealing with his issues.