Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 41
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 41 |
ok just a question how young is too young to get married.<P>like some people say it depends on a persons maturity...however i wouldnt recommend anyone under the age of 20 get married and even i think thats too young.<P>just want to get some peoples opinion on what they think is too young to get married<P>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,394
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,394 |
I'd go with the maturity thing. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>But I also would think that another factor is whether or not the people are the "marrying kind", which makes it a personality thing too.<P>I can't say any specific age that I would consider to be too young, but I think that a good model to use, would include things such as: having a career (even if it means you're still in college or university), and living on your own without your parents for at least one year.<P>Of course, my opinion is mostly based on what my experiences were compared to what I think would have been better. lol.<P>Karen<BR>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 660
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 660 |
If you ask yourself, "Am I too young to get married?" - that's a pretty good indicator, lol! Seriously, I agree with Topie. A career, having lived away from the folks, pursue an education, etc. Someone also posted on another forum that marriages seem to do better when both spouses have done some living and gotten their "jollies" in their salad days, so they will not be tempted to wonder, "Is there anything else out there?" For me, it was traveling the world, getting my college degrees, dating several men, doing fun things with my friends and enjoying the "single life" for a while, just so I'd know what it was like. I got finally married at 31. <P>belld
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040 |
My H was 30 when we married. One of the excuses he gave our daughter after he left was that he was "young" and made a mistake getting married.<P>I think it has much more to do with cultural expectations than age. Many Amish marry between 18-22; many of them marry the first person they "date" (actually it is courtship rather than dating), and it is rare for their marriages not to last. <P>I think an important question is how young is too young to date - and I believe there is a lot to be said for not dating until after high school.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 394
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 394 |
I agree with Nelli1.<P>After reading the question, my first response was 50! But I really think dating has alot to do with it. In very old days and still in some countries, a man has to work quite a while to pay a dowry to the girl's father before marrying her. Now if he has worked so hard to get her (many times years), she will mean so much more to him and will he then just take her for granted at a whim? Isn't it sad that today's society is so backward and the father has to pay for the wedding to give his daughter away?<P>I know many will probably not agree with me. I was born in the wrong era!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 660
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 660 |
Nellie, I am Mennonite Brethren, which is one of the three peace religions/churches, along with Amish and Mennonite. Many of the Brethren do marry as you say, and they do have very happy, long marriages. I know some really happy couples from my church, and no one can tell me that they aren't, because I see it in their eyes. We're taught to appreciate each other and to value the human spirit, and we're taught peacable behavior and compassion. But the couples of whom I speak are the ones who marry within the church, which I did not do, both times, in fact, I married men who did not practice their faith - both Catholics. I think that my being Brethren has a lot to do with why I stayed, even after all of this. <P>oh well, this is a topic drift - back to our regularly scheduled discussion.<P>belld
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 656
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 656 |
I wouldn't put too much emphasis on age being an indicator of success for a marriage. <P>I work with a guy who got married at 17. He's been married for 16 years.<P>One of my cousins got married when she was 18. 25 years later, they are still happily married. <P>My parents' best friends (who have become my aunt & uncle) got married when they were just 21 years old, due to an unwanted pregnancy. They celebrated their 41st anniversary this year. <P>I waited until I was 32 to get married. Now I'm divorced. <P>What gives?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
883
guests, and
74
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
