i read pauls post it saddened me. i dont even know half of what he went through, and i know what i'm going through hurts bad. i feel even worse for what i did to him so many times(i didnt think i could feel worse). i know whatever happens is gods work i have left that burden with god. hope fully with time and alot of prayers god will move for me

R2C,<P>If your username reflects what you want to do then do it...Nothing is impossible just keep doing the next right thing and all will be well <P>Bill

Welcome! We are so very glad you're here. don't have a lot of time, but wanted to let you know that we're really, REALLY glad you're here.<P>Dedication and committment from BOTH of you...that'll do it. That's the magic formula.<P>Your name, the title of your post...you're heading in the right direction. <P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori<P>

Amanda,<P>I am not surprised that Paul's post saddened you. I presume we are talking about the one I bookmarked. It is clear you had no idea what you were doing to him, because most humans don't enjoy inflicting that amount of pain. Yet, it happens and it is rationalized very often.<P>I do hope however, that you got the message in the letter posted to him in that thread. It is one of hope. Paul is deeply hurt and scarred. He doesn't want to go through more pain, so he has withdrawn. It is now your task to do two things. 1. Change your life and behavior so that he may become confident in you. This means even if the divorce goes through. 2. You will need to be consistent in your love of him. This has been a problem in the past hasn't it?<P>Amanda, things can work out, but it will take time. Your marriage didn't get to its present state overnight, and it won't be repaired over night. Your love is going to have to be strong and there is much work to do. But you can do it.<P>Have you read any of the many things Sheryl, NB, bookmarked for you? You should do so. It will help you see things in a different light.<P>Hang in there.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

ready2change:<P>You are welcome here. I've discussed a lot of issues with Paul over the time he's been here (my wife had an affair and conceived a child as well).<P>I'd suggest that you not dump this into God's lap and wait patiently to see what happens. You need to be proactive in trying to restore your marriage. I would strongly urge you to call the MB counseling center (now) at 888-639-1639, and make an appointment with Steve Harley (or his sister, Jenn). <P>The multiple affairs are very hard to understand, and you have quite a bit of work ahead of you to change your behaviors and restore your marriage. It isn't impossible, but I fear that you won't be able to do it without guidance from an experienced coach. While this forum can be a terrific place for support, it cannot replace professional marriage counseling.<P>You need this counseling. Get to work. We'll be here to help

i have to go but ill talk to you guys 2-morrow love ya guys<P>Amanda<BR>

Hi Amanda,<P>I just wanted to WELCOME you to MB! I am so glad you are here.<P>I've been on my knees for you two many times. Read all you can about the Basic Concepts - and it wouldn't hurt to visit the Women's Bible Study Forum. <P>I'm not sure what is happening in the marriage recently, but I was troubled to hear about GF... Have you two split up, and is Paul seeing someone? That breaks my heart. <P>Come back soon and let me know what is going on.<BR>TnT

Amanda,<P>Your H's bringing back <I>the</I> post (the first of the "success" stories)... touched me like no other post...<BR>...<B>JL</B> mentioned it in the other thread... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/007869.html" TARGET=_blank>Sadness,Pain,Regret, Is it worth Reconciliation? </A>!<P>Paul often found inspiration in deep and thought provoking words...<BR>...during his hurt...<BR>...his humbleness and humility... was profound in this message he found and posted...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000592.html" TARGET=_blank>May have read this before, but it is pretty good.</A><BR>He can sure pick 'em!<P>No matter where things head between the two of you...<BR>...and the children he and you love...<BR>...I offer a prayer... for you and he... another "old" post...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/002369.html" TARGET=_blank>Prayer...Feelings of Guilt and Shame</A>.<P>With deep love... in His sight...<P> <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited May 01, 2001).]

Amanda, <P>I wanted to respond to you primarily because your husband has been so instrumental to my own personal recovery. Actually, I know that God used Paul to help encourage me, teach me, and more importantly, to simply be a brother that I could confide in who knew the pain I was dealing with. <P>Amanda, I can't fully explain the joy I felt when I read Paul's post stating that you were now posting on this forum. What a tremendous step to take in healing the hurt your marriage has experienced. As K stated, don't simply leave this in God's lap expecting a miracle to happen. The miracle HAS happened - you and Paul are seeking help together! By asking the Lord for direction and wisdom, He will help you and Paul - He promises that. <P>Amanda, welcome to the forum. <P>May God bless you and Paul.<P>SHA<BR><P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.