My WH is withdrawing love units from me like there's no tomorrow, and I'm not feeling the same way about him as I was a week or two ago. First he forgot about Mother's Day, then he's been spending money on stupid things - like a guitar, when we are really struggling to cope financially at the moment, but the worst thing - the thing that has really put his account into the red, was today. He came to pick the girls up to take them out for the afternoon and he asked me why I had a candle lit during the daytime. I replied "Well, it's the 20th today", he looked at me blankly, I just sighed and said to him "You don't have any idea what day it is do you?" he said "No". I didn't tell him - it was one month ago today that we terminated the life of our unborn baby. I cannot believe that he didn't even remember, that he has no idea - that he's just wiped the whole thing out of his memory, when I'm going through absolute hell trying to come to terms with it. He promised that he would support me through this, but his idea of 'support' seems to be to move out and forget all about it. Meanwhile I'm on anti-depressants and sleeping pills and can't even look my daughters in the eye because I feel so guilty about what we did. He's shown me a new level of callousness today, he has changed so much over the past few weeks and I'm not sure that I can still love the person he is turning into. For the life of me, I can't understand WHY I still want to remain married to such a man?

Dear Paintbox<BR>My heart goes out to you. Can't put the words together to tell you how much I understand. Will try later. In the meantime, look at who and what you are dealing with. The answers may come.

Paintbox-This is just a thought but is it possible that your H did know what that date was and just didn't know what to say to you so pretended not to remember? If your H is a conflict avoider like mine this is how he would have responded.I think your H is deep in the fog and that you can probably expect no support from him.I suggest you work on your own strength because he is obviously trying to escape from it all.You would do better to get support from other places.But your feelings will probably change again on this roller coaster ride. Don't give up yet! Take care of yourself!

Paintbox hang inthere MAEZY is right if he didn't remember something like that he has to like wine and fava beans.My first wife and I did the same thing ,that child would now be 29 years old.He can't be that stupid.We will all be here for you like you are for us. NTK

Dear Paintbox, <P>Just wanted to let you know that I'm here, too. So, so sorry about your awful day. We're all here for you...<P>Snow