Hey Sing,<P>How come your H will not give you a phone number? Does he do this offten? Can you trace his calls? <P>As for son my guess he is acting out over everything. Maybe ask him what he suggests would help the situation.<P>I live in New England now. I grew up in Texas and know what you mean about missing the south.

Well I just got back from talking to my counselor. I show her the emails from H; she thought he is really having a hard time & that even if he is with the OW that he is still most likely falling apart.<P>That for now I will just have to deal with everything, she help to see there is really not much I can do, but chill. The decisions of summer school for OS cannot be made till after exams, & we know what he failed. That making a decision for school next year doesn’t have to be done now, people enroll her all year. That I should take YS’s day off from school tomorrow, & go do something fun; think we will go see the pink dolphins, maybe finally get that photo with them that we have wanted. But that I may have to make all decisions as my H may not be capable of it at this time, that people who try to be the best have a harder time dealing with failure than others. <P>That I can only appeal to my son, & that if he doesn’t comply that he will face the consequences one of which could be boarding school.<P>I am calmer now. I manage to drive & not run over any motorcyclist. <BR>

Life as an expat can be very lonely (yeah, did go through it once). I am really sorry. I hope things will work out for all of you. <p>[This message has been edited by Katie_s (edited May 24, 2001).]

Hugs and more hugs Sing. late here and I just got home from a work function. Will get back to you tomorrow. Wish i could pop around for coffee. Bad news about Os - nut not the end of the world. Wish I could find that H of yours and give him a good shaking. <P>ER

Sing, You have a lot on your plate right now. This board is a nice place to bring those things because we get so much support and advice from people who are essentially walking in our shoes.<P>Maybe, just maybe, your H is hitting the bottom. It seems that they need to first. You mentioned that people who try so hard to be best have the hardest time with failure. I'm assuming you are talking about your H? A perfectionist??<P>I'd have to agree. And would put my H in the same category.<P>I have a friend here, another physician, who had a terrible time with drugs. Was taking very illegal drugs from the OR an injecting them. He HAD to go to a rehab...and stayed for about 6 months. He has been in his own recovery for about 3 years. But it is a daily thing for him. When my H began this bizaar journey...he mentioned to me that he could see himself in my H's eyes. He began talking to me about how difficult it is to be a perfectionist. He actually tried talking to my H, but of course, my H wasn't in a place to listen... and pretty much is still not. (not close to the bottom)<P>My friend said that at least with drugs and alcohol you more than likely reach a place where you HAVE to admit you have a problem or you will lose your job, your life etc. This type of addiction is socially acceptable, but just as devastating.<P>BTW...the wierd TN accent wouldn't be from NETN would it? I live there now. It is a different type of southern accent all right.

Hi Sing,<P>Glad you are doing better. It does not hurt your son for him to know there are reactions to every action. I still might think it is a cry of pain because of what your H has done. <P>Hang in there.