even more chapters...<P>"On Finding your Soulmate."<P>"I'll Wait for you Forever."<P><BR>

Some more:<P>"It's true love, it can't be wrong."<P>"God brought us together" like God is in the business of destroying families.<P>Ish<P>

How about a recipe section:<BR>"Filet of Soulmate" poached of course!

Out of the mouth of the OW, now long departed...<P>"We could all live together, and you could tell us what to do!" (It wasn't an option)

Here's one for the index:<P>The Heartbreak Diet – Lose those ugly extra pounds in just a few short weeks!!

Oh yes - and what about "Meals for the newly abandoned - 1001 ways with two left-over frankfurters and an apple"<P>and another chapter: "Breakfast ideas with Prozac" <P>Paint

Okay - the really oldies on this board will understand this one! I can't even remember who exactly this came from, but I remember the thread was absolutely hysterical!<P>101 ways to prepare Bacon and Pop Tarts <P><BR>[This message has been edited by Alberta (edited June 23, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Alberta (edited June 23, 2001).]

You gals and guys are TOO funny! What a laugh today.<P>I love that "Soulmate" chapter <P>This book is going to be too thick, can we add:<P>1. What's my line: We're Soulmates.<BR>2. Telephone Booths 101<P>and my all time favorite:<P>3. I hid the relationship cards in my briefcase.<P>And don't forget:<P>4. Thanks for the Memories ... . .....<P>Where would "we" be without you guys?<P>

Please keep those chapter ideas coming. This is too funny. I definitely need something to laugh about!<P>Here's a suggestion from my H's latest request for understanding:<P>"When you're almost done with OP and you both know it can't work."<P>Another of my favorites: "Feeling remorse after 'cheating' on the OP with your spouse since OP doesn't deserve it (and spouse does?)."<P>And, "101 reasons why it's all your spouse's fault."<P>"When you never meant to hurt anyone, but you did."<P>"When you have two lovers and you love them both the same." (plagiarism again)<P>"Why no one understands unconditional love quite like you do."<P>"How to give up everything for OP by relying on spousal support."<P>And here are some involving kids and affairs:<P>"How to get rid of the kids when they don't like the OP."<P>"How you can feel like a good parent again by avoiding your own kids who've been brainwashed by your spouse and lavishing attention on OP's kids (especially if they're too young to understand what's going on)."<P><BR>

My favorite chapters:<P>"How To De-Stench The Front Passenger Seat Of H's Car After His OW Has Been Riding In It" -- still working on that one!<P>"I Was Just Being Her Mentor - You Know, Like A Dad" -- complete with quotes from Bill Clinton!<P>and the ever-popular:<BR>"She Means Nothing To Me" -- yeah, in that case I sure wish *I* meant nothing to you!<P><BR>

Ishmael,<P>I wonder if you would be agreeable to sending me an email with your email address. I would like to ask you a question about EMR's from the perspective of a pastor. <P>Thanks.

Okay i have a few more for ya.<P> THE OP understands me better.<P> WHy i was sent like an angel from the heavens to save your marriage, Complete with Quotes from the OM.<P> I do not want them, i was using them for sex ( a quote from a friend who is going through it too)<P> Your 8 months pregnant, well i have needs too.<P> and my fav, your the mother of my children, how can I ask you to use sex toys??? ( again direct quote from my friends H) I about died when she told me that one LOL<BR> Maine<BR><P>------------------<BR>IN the words of BOB the BUILDER!!" WE can fix it, yes we can!!!"

"She Listens To Me"<P>"I'll be a better person for everybody"<P>"I've changed"<P>"God has nothing to do with marriage"<P>"You and she (BW and OW) are really a lot alike"<P>"How the kids haven't been affected by the A"<P>"I deserve my privacy, how dare you check my email"<P>"50 ways to blame the BS and justify the A"

StrongerinCali, Yeah I got that one too: I love her because she reminds me of you. Yuck! Then why does he "hate" me?

One of my favorites:<P>"I have no idea how her number got on my cell phone. I must have called her months ago for something work related." <P> lol. Yeah right and you haven't used your cell phone since?<BR>

ashygirl:<P>No problem, you can write me at naib@mac.com<P>Ish

Oh yeah, early, early on I noticed a caller ID # from OW's house after midnight. When I asked H why she called so late, he shrugged. I kept after him and he kept saying, I forgot to ask her. <P>Next chapter:<P>"How to keep suspicion spouses at bay"<P>"How to make spouses feel guilty for asking"<P>"How to make contact with OP seem accidental"<P>"How to use your children as suspicion shields"<P>"How to make friends with OP spouse so as to not arrouse suspicion"<P><BR>Cali

I just found this and laughed so hard I had to go change my Depends. Just kidding.<P>If you haven't published the book yet I would like to add:<P>"Oh, I bought that for you I just forgot to give it to you."<P>"It's just easier to get my AmEx and cell phone bills at the office."<P>"We have poor cell phone reception at home so I need to walk outside when I get "business" calls."<P>The pair of pajama's I gave you for valentine's day really did cost $170. Really that's all I bought."<P>And my absolute favorite:<P>"The reason I have condoms in my overnight bag, even though you have had a tubal, is........."<P>Thanks for the laughs<BR>

Well I hope it's not too late for more additions. These were so funny...must be getting my sense of humor back. My favorites would have to be:<P>1. 10 reasons why her H will never make her happy (but a cheating man will)<BR>2. Let's tell the kids, they will understand.<BR>3. I think she is perfect for me (why? because she is lying and cheating too? and by the way looks just like my mother)<P>and how about music for the commercial to advertise the book...maybe Your Cheatin Heart by Hank Williams or perhaps Anotherone Bites the Dust by Queen complete with BS knocking the daylights out of OP's. Okay so my sick sense of humor is coming out now, but it is so nice to at least have one again!

Rave reviews for the new book "Affairs for Dummies"<P>"One thumb up." Siskel and Ebert<BR>"Hollywood-style secrets for everyman." Los Angeles Times<BR>"Just like in Joisey." NY Times<BR>"Ay-yup." Boston Globe<BR>"The book Bill Clinton wished he'd wrote." Washington Post<BR>"Foggier than the Bay on a September morning." San Francisco Chronicle<BR>"You read it, then practice it: we'll report it." National Enquirer<BR>"So that's how they do it!" Inside Hollywood<BR>"Don't judge the book by its cover." Harvard Law Review<BR>"Riveting!" American Homeowner<BR>"Why didn't we think of this?" Psychology Today<BR>"First there was the song 'Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover' ... this book tells you how to find all fifty of them." Rolling Stone<BR>"Aliens Abduct Humans for Bizarre Rituals" The Starr<BR>"This should be required reading in schools!" Weekly Reader<BR>"NOW they publish it!" William J. Clinton<BR>"This book would have been so useful." Monica Lewinsky<BR>"Oy vey!" Woody Allen<BR>"Every village should have a copy." Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton<BR>"No comment." State of New York Public Affairs Department<P>Sorry ... couldn't resist ...<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL<BR><p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited June 27, 2001).]