Hi. I have been reading here since Dday (May 31). My H had a seven-week EA with a woman he worked with on occassion. He says there was no PA beyond kissing, but he felt an emotional connection with her beyond anything he had ever felt. He is still "in the fog", maintaining contact with her (via phone and probably email). He says he wants us to work on our marriage, and does seem to be trying (other than aforementioned contact with OW). He is in that classic "top of the fence position", wanting to make sure he "does the right thing for all of us." I am trying now to put together my plan A, and want to make him happy with ME and our marriage. <P>We are both in therapy separately, and plan to go together, probably starting in the fall. My first question- I saw my therapist today and I discussed short-term (?- I hope?) antidepressant drug therapy with her. My main physical complaints are insomnia and that I can't eat. Often if I force myself to eat, I just throw it up anyway. I've lost almost 15 lbs. and am getting so weak and tired that I'm having real trouble functioning. I have two kids that I have to live for. Not to mention that my physical condition makes it almost impossible to Plan A and not LB. I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm cranky, and I know who's fault it is, after all. She felt it might help, and recommended that I call a doctor, which I did. Now that I've done some research on the web, I'm scared out of my wits! The side-effects and the withdrawal symptoms look almost as bad as this depression. I don't know what to do now. Can anyone with experience share? What did you take? Dosage? Did it work? Side-effects? Have you tried and were you able to stop? I know that everyone is different, but I figure the more information I have, the better off I'll be making my decision.<P>This site has been a wonderful source of comfort and support to me, even without posting. I look forward to getting to know you all better and sharing. Thanks! :-)

Rap - I'm going to offer you what I hope will be better than meds:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rapunzel:<BR><B>I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm cranky, and I know who's fault it is, after all.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!<P>Hang with me for a minute?<P>Sure, you contributed, in part, to the environment that made fertile ground for the affair to happen. But, you did not cause the affair - only your H has responsibility for this.<P>So, put this self blaming out of your mind. You only own a piece.<P>Now, to the meds. I think your fears are exaggerated. The benefits seem to FAR outweigh the risks - let's face it, if it was such a close call, the drugs would have never been approved.<P>You have the classic symptoms of depression. I did, too. I went from 145 to 120 pounds in a few weeks on the infidelity diet. Couldn't sleep. At one stretch I was awake 36 hours straight - fully alert, but exhausted. Very scarry. After starting the meds and ramping up in dosage, I was back to almost normal in two months. Ya gotta be patient with these meds - it takes up to 10 - 12 weeks for them to be fully effective - but it's worth it.<P>Please do not delay. You can't do an effective Plan A from a depressive state. OK?<P>WAT

Thank you- but the quote you used- actually, I DID mean HIM! I know I contributed by not meeting his ENs, he didn't meet mine either. But I do know this is HIS fault.<P>That's why it's so hard not to LB. <P>Thank you for the info. I've seen so many HORROR stories, I'm beginning to question it. I see my doctor Thursday, it just makes me a little nervous.

Just a thought - if you are that nervous about it... I've been taking St. Johns Wort - an herb. It's not perfect - but seems to be helping quite a bit. And exercising and reading. I also take other vitamins and herbs - which will give you strength and energy.<P>Just a thought - fighting stress the natural way.

Ditto with WAT's post.....not all antidepressants are horrible or difficult to withdraw from. I've been on 50mg of Zoloft for nearly three years. I began antidepressants two and a-half years prior to knowing about my H's affair. I suspected the same for a while but had tooooo many other detrimental, life-threatening aspects of our marriage to deal with....losing our business, house, dignity and lawsuit after lawsuit after lawsuit. I dealt with all of this on an almost daily basis; therfore, my reason for the persuit of DRUGS to help me through all the bu**sh*t. I thank my lucky stars for Zoloft. <P>You'd think that life dealt me enough pain throughout the past years, but now the revelation that my H did, by the horse's mouth, have a long term physical affair with a BIMBO from HELL has given me renewed hope for our future together....NOT. I sometimes think about having my daily dosage increased in order to keep all these personal hassles within negotiable terms. <BR><P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

Don't let antidepressants frighten you. Sure, some of them come with a whole host of frightening side effects; but others don't. there are many to choose from; and if a particular drug doesn't do the job, just switch to another and see if that works better. Nothing wrong with that. And at such a stressful point in your life, don't feel badly about relying on a medication to give you a little boost. It's really no different than a boost from your friends, family or other support sources.<P>My H is on Wellbutrin and is very happy with it. This particular drug is one of several newer antidepressants that don't come with such a long list of possible side effects. It does not decrease sex drive or have as many drug interactions wih other prescriptions. Insomnia is one of the most frequently reported side effects; but this can be fixed with a dosage adjustment. My H is very happy with this medication. Ask your doctor about it.<P>Best of luck to you!<BR>Calla

I started taking effexor on d-day. I spent that whole day crying and begged the dr for one that works fast. She said effexor has a shorter half life than the others so it kicks in faster. It is one of the newer ones and has few bad side effects. I lost 15 lbs in a few wks like you did and also have anxiety and effexor works on both depression and anxiety. I really like it- I started off on small dose then gradually increased to a 150 mg time release capsule that I take once a day in the mornings. The only bad part about effexor is that when you decide to go off it you cant quit cold turkey you need to wean off it slowly. But other than that I REALLY like it and helps me cry less and keeps my mood more stable. lifeismessy

I was on Celexa for about a year. Initially, my dr gave it to me for postpartum depression. I don't remember what the side effects were supposed to be, but I don't believe I had any. I guess it made it more difficult for me to lose my pregnancy weight, but being depressed made me want to eat, also. <P>My D-day was March 26,27 2001 and I am off the Celexa now. I could sure use it, though. I am on Meridia (weight loss) and they can't be taken together. I have not had any withdrawal symptoms, but I get pretty depressed sometimes. My H wants me to quit the Meridia and get back on Celexa. <P>Oh! It did not make me feel numb, either. I just felt calmer, more relaxed. I was really worried that I would be numb. <P>Good luck to you. Don't feel bad if you need a little help right now. It is only natural. Take care of yourself, especially for your cutie patooties <P>Window

Rapunzel:<P>I was on Wellbutrin for about a year. I started off with the same side effects---and a pretty bad "dry mouth". The insomnia was counteracted nicely by Ambien, which I only took on occasion. The other issues went away within a month or so after starting the meds.<P>

Thank you all so much for your replies. I do feel better about the idea, and know it is necessary for me to give meds a chance. I will certainly ask my Dr. about Wellbutrin, perhaps combined with sleep aids. I want to sleep, eat, etc. But I still want to feel like making love to my H too. That's the only thing I do that she doesn't (yet, anyway) <P>GeezeLouise- I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. You must be an amazingly strong woman. I wish you the best of everything- you've earned it.