...Geez one BAD night and I'm now a "DorkFish" "That Woman" and even a "Teanager on summerleave"...Goosh!!! I don't know If I should feel sad our laugh. Mmost of you know my story and with any sence you also know that it is not fabricated in any way.<P>Anyway I hope no one of you ever feels so trapped in such an emotional state that I do sometimes. Perhaps you do and perhaps my fault is that I "Scream it out" in not so appropriate way as most of you. That does not make me a villan!<P>I feel really confused and sad - but then again as Zorweb posted - you shouldn't care<P>However I won't hide and run - I'm sad and I feel bad sometimes I lash out but I will not feel ashamed for my confusion! Hate me all you want but I don't hate any of you quite the opposite<BR>!<P><BR>PEACE!<BR>HF <BR>

Just save the act tootsie. It's not even a question of ONE bad night. You are just BAD BAD BAD. maybe you wouldn't be so damn confused if you just stuck to one board. You come here talking about how you want to get out of the EMR and then go to gloryb and get encouragement on staying in the EMR and talk about how great your MM is. You are an attention seeker and nothing more. A drama Queen. I don't even think you really drink as much as you claim you do. I think you're just a stupid little girl who likes to do what she wants to do and then have something else to blame it on.<BR>As an xOW I have no empathy whatsoever for you. I too have been in an EMR and have been confused about my feelings for someone on more than one occation...but I don't post one thing on one board and something else on another. You played yourself.

Self Control<P> "I conquered an empire, but I was not able to conquer myself" declared Peter the Great. And when he wasn't. In an outburst of fury he killed his own son. WHEN SELF CONTROL FAILS, THEN WE HAVE A MONSTER ON THE LOOSE, a monster within the walls of our own heart.<P> Life can hold no greater challenge to any person than the contest to control himself. CONTROL your temper, CONTROL you speech, CONTROL you appetites, CONTROL you emotions. <P><BR>

Well if we are wore as srong and fine as you NTWL!!!!. We would not need boards at all now would we? I haven’t posted here in a while for obviose reasons - I wasn’t as strong as you are and I couldn’t brake it off with MM. So YES I went to gloryb beacuse I felt that I had no business here - at least not now. Yesterday I flipped and by God I’m not ashamed for it. Everyone is entiteled to feel crappy and I did. Didn’t know that It would blow up in the proportions that it did. But frankley I don’t give a damn.<P>As for your remark about :<P>” Just save the act tootsie. It's not even a question of ONE bad night. You are just BAD BAD BAD. maybe you<BR>wouldn't be so damn confused if you just stuck to one board”<P>I really don’t care if you think I’m soooo BAD - and If I wasn’t so damn confused perhaps I would stick to ONE board but now since I am.....<P>Really I’m glad that you found the strenght to get out of your affair - Perhaps I will someday - but untill then I may or may not feel ****ty - sorry if that makes you uncomfortable!<P>As for you not feeling any ematy for me - That's to sad. Empaty is part of me and I never hate anyone - but then again we are all different.<BR>

Alexy:<P>Well said, bravo! (I am ever a sucker for historical reference ... loved the Peter the Great attribution!)<P>Fish:<P>To reiterate: go get professional help. Your emotional and substance problems exceed the capacity of lay-people to address. As Stan Lee was wont to state in his Marvel Comics editorial comments: 'nuff said.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Well alexy,<P>Guess "Control" is not one of my strongest qualities - perhaps I can take a course <P>I have always been temperamental - do I need to make excuses for that?

I could have sworn that I typed EMPATHY. I don't HATE anyone, including you. You are not TRYING to end the affair and deep down you know and everyone else now knows that you don't want to end it. I know it's hard to cut all contact at once. I know that. But you don't go to one board saying "I want help getting out" and then go to another to gain acceptance for having an affair. And you darn sure don't go to the board where people were actually trying to help you do the right thing and decribe how you lapsed and "made love" to the MM again after painting such a sob story about wanting to end it. Like I said, you just like the drama, and you actually LIKE it when people flame you. It gives you something to do when the MM isn't around.

PLease humble fish read my post called the Golden Rule. <BR>

Fish:<P>You do not need to apologize for being "tempermental" or for "lack of control", you need to seek professional help in learning to control it.<P>STL

NTWL - You assume too much, and It's sad that you think that I'm after the "drama" or attention - you have no idea what you are talking about and frankly you should not assume so much about people you do not know.<P>alexy - I will read your post about the "Golden rule" <P>STL - Perhaps you are right but counsling and therapy???? - beem there done that - perhaps I'm incurrable.... I'm kind off a silly rebel when it comes to control - I beleive that everyone is entiteled to express oneself - and not bee lead like cows - Perhaps that sound silly but tell me one statue in this world that was rased for a man/woman that beleived in the "Status Que"? - Just a thought!

I wish that everyone would quit responding to HF. If she truly wants help, she will take our advice and READ, instead of spouting off. The more WE respond to her. The more she is encouraged to defend herself and throw more junk on our board. IGNORE the child screaming for attention, and force her to go and find something else to do - like try to learn something.

Faith<P>Just a Q - You are telling people to not respond to me BUT - Why are you reponding???? - what are you doing in my post if you do not want to read it?????

Statues are not raised for the status quo. But neither are they raised nor maintained for improper behavior also. One only needs to see the toppled statues of Lenin near Red Square. They are raised, generally because someone made a commitment to principle.<P>So, will your "statue" be a toppled one, or stand for something lasting and enduring like the Jefferson Memorial? That is up to you to decide.<P>Getting help does not preclude you being your own person. Go get professional help, your issues are beyond the means of lay-people to address.<P>On that note, I am washing my hands of responding to you. The benefit in answering outweighs all else, in this case.<P>Wherever you end up, good luck.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Thank you STL!!!<P>The "status Quo" was not about me just in generall - And don't get me started on Lenin or Starlin!!!! - Anyway - Wash your hands and may there be peace between us - I hope!

I can't believe I am going to post . . . jump into the frying pan . . .<P>This is a web site for people who are trying to repair their marriages. If you've been wayward, and you come here to seek help, we will help you, you are welcome. If you think that being with any MM or MW is healthy you need serious help.<P>The golden rule - why would anyone have to go read about "The Golden Rule". It is taught in kindergarten, at least I learned it "Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You", okay, so I am openning myself for attack by HF - because I am not treating her with kindness.<P>Being the OP is unhealthy, it is not right, you are involved between the union of two people. You are aiding and abeting - if someone was going to go murder someone would you help them. It is only an analogy. Don't be a party to the pain of any BS.<P>If you want to remain on the side and be an OP, then glory is where you should make your home.

after shock...<P>When I came here for the first time I WANTED TO BRAKE IT OFF!!!!!! - But as it seemes I could not. Yesterday was a very bad night for me and I lashed out on all and everyone. It's very hard to let go of something you love so much - specially if he will not let go of me. Now this is the naked truth and if BS want to beleive otherwhise - I can not stop them.<P>All I'm saying is that every situation is different! - And all the WS on this board are in recovery more or less - Do you really think that any MM/MW would come on here and tell it like it is?????<P>Shoot me but never doubght my story! - You can plan A/B/D/Whatever - but I am real - ask me and I will answer!!!!<P>But most of you just want to ignore me and keep A/B/ whatever manupulation planning that you are doing<P>A fair Q - don't you thing that after you planed A and even B that you will fall to your old patterns again???? - Or are BS going to "pretend" to be "nice" for the rest of their lives??????

HB "every situation is different" yet, He does not have children. HB please ask yourself WHY (if he loves you, you are soulmates, can't live without you etc.) does he not leave his wife and Marry YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honey, he is using you and will do anything to get into your bed. He knows how to do it because (chances are good ) that he has done this all before annnnnnnnnnnd he will do it again. He is selfish. If he really "loved you" and not just "lust you", he would do the "right thing for you". You don't need to have a PHD in psycology to see this. I think you really know this and it is this truth that is what is hurting you. No one wants to be used or hurt so it is natural to talk yourself into "he loves me". But, you don't love you, untill you do you will allow yourself to be used. Please get some one to help you with this.<P>------------------<BR>Marry

HF, I wish you were my husband's OW. That would bring me great comfort.<P>Nell