Well the D papers came on Friday morning while she was making herself look good for the gym and I was having breakfast with our children. Serving me in front of the kids, took a lot of class, what else is new. My kids were in a state of shock and very depressed. Another exampled of the fog and good judgment. The day before she asked for his love letters, I said no way she proceeded to hit me. So much for plan A. She is gone the whole day and puts a lot of miles on the car, visiting OM. Time for a strong plan B ?.<BR>I want you to know that I tried to reach her and did at times, but the OM and her low self-esteem makes plan A imposable. I’m really OK about this. At this point I could never see her with me as my wife. The woman I married 15 years ago is gone or buried so deep in her that it will take a major fall to bring her back. But it will never be the same. "You don’t lose love then have an affair; you have affairs and lose love". I’m heartbroken that she took the wrong road and once again fell for the first guy that told her what she wanted to hear. In any event she is near 40 and going through her mid life crisis and just wants to be 20 again. She goes out every night till 1 am or later. Its having an effect on the our family. She will be losing her children, her home and her life for this OM, who by the way is separated and going through his divorce, funny misery loves company. They deserve each other. I think she is setting herself up for a fall. I told her that each time she looks at this idiot she would be looking at the man that helped destroy her family. I hope that made a point. Please don’t misunderstand I wanted this to work, so did the children. Any Advise ?.<BR>

I'm sorry adam. i know you are crushed. huggggzzzzzz....<P>Just a few questions to get a little extra info. The weekend is sort of slow here, but you'll get some suggestions.<P>I looked back and saw on July 15, seemed to be your last post? It seems everyone here was suggesting you begin Plan B? Now I'm not fussing or anything - just trying to get some info so we can help you best... why didn't you start Plan B then? I'm not fussin', ok? Just want to hear your reasons - I'm sure you had good reasons.<P>Next question: what would you like to do? I assume since you are here, you would like to know if we think there's a chance you can rescue your marriage? right? Do you want to? Or perhaps you would like some support on how to make the D the least painful for you and your family?<P>If you were just served papers, there is still time to either reverse the process (get your W's attention), or at least buy some time.<P>Hang in there, buddy. We're here. Try to relax, and take care of yourself.<p>[This message has been edited by Faith1 (edited July 28, 2001).]

Faith. I thought I could reach her and I did. But there is a OM that is helping her call the shots and pushing her fast forward. I would love to save this marriage and then have my head examined. I realize that I can't trust her. I'm dealing with a addict and I don't see a future at this point, maybe after the D and her affair ends. At that point she would have to be very alone and in need of her family. <BR>Listen I'm not happy about this I really wish that I could just wake and say "What a dream" but thats the stuff that movies are made of. If you have advice please tell me.