As I've posted before I've been with my WH ALOT in the last week. I of course WAS getting my hopes up....tried not to...really knew that I shouldn't....but couldn't help it.<P>I had finally gotten to a point where what he does doesn't bother me...didn't need to always know where he was or who he was with. Didn't think about what was going on all the time....was just spending time with our daughters and trying to work on myself. Not sure what got me to that....I just know that I'd rather be there than where I'm at right now.<P>He pretty much told me to call him last night....told me what he was going to do and what time he was leaving kinda like so I'd know what he was doing so I would call well before that. I called....he was short with me....because my sister was there I think.<P>I asked him if he wanted to go out and do something....he said no....we're going to move some stuff to the other house tonight.<BR>I said well..if you knew you were going to do that then why did you ask me to call? He said....well....I didn't say we would do anything...I just said you could call.<BR>To say the least I was disappointed...had looked forward to getting to spend some time with him.<BR>Then I LB'd.<P>I said....oh....what am I now...just a good lay?<BR>He said no...I don't see it that way.....I see it as having a good time with you. <BR>That pretty much means what I asked huh?<BR>I said...are there any feelings at all there for me?<BR>He was silent for a minute and then said.....very softly....no.<BR>I said....do you want to quit meeting me?<BR>This was a definate NO...said with no hesitation.....but he said he didn't want to do it every night anymore.<BR>Wonder why...the OW is going on day shift Monday....in a different department....funny....my sister will now be her boss.<BR>He mentioned the other night that when she goes on day shift...to be able to have time with me he would just tell her that he was going home. Funny....he's at her house right now whenever she is there.....ALL the time. Wonder how he'll get by with that? Gonna be kinda funny when he tells her all the sudden that he wants to go home...she's gonna wonder why. Guess that's not my problem.<P>I asked him a couple more questions and he got agitated because he was tired and my sister was there. He didn't want to talk about any of it in front of her.<P>All in all it came down to the fact that I didn't have a chance in hell right now....which I guess is better than 2 weeks ago when I didn't have a chance in hell ever.<P>So....do I keep meeting him....or do I tell him that I can't...unless he wants me to get my hopes up? I'm at a loss...I look forward to that time with him.....but is it helping my chances....or is he just getting the best of both worlds?

MP,<BR>He HAS the best of both worlds. Listen to WHAT he is telling you. You spend alot of time reading between the lines. He wants his cake and eat it too. See what happened when you backed off, he came running and wanted sex with you...got you right back into the "stable"..told you to call<BR>and You did...so he knows your "hooked" again...<BR>I have said it before...he is going to to do what you allow him too...My H if he thought for a minute he could have me,our kids and Other women..he would...and he never moved out had a "3 night stand"...but had to work hard to build that trust up again...and has to now forever something that was a given...Point being...you were doing really good...you decided having sex with him was a "good" plan A<BR>you guys got closer, that was great. YOU ARE HIS WIFE!! the mother of his children...he owes you that respect..you are NOT "the OP"...you need toTAKE that respect back. I think and maybe the pros here think otherwise...NOW it is time for PLAN B...a real one not a modified one...to make H feel good about all the sex he can get everywhere....I just hate seeing you in such turmoil...it is affecting you and your kids, they are having nightmares, and all kinds of issues...you need to plan B..get incontrol of your life for you and your kids...take care of YOU...go to the club..work out...join a bowling league, Tennis...whatever something you do for YOU...you will feel better and you will not spend 24/7 worrying about a man who is too busy juggling women, and his times to have sex...WHEN HE HAS A WIFE and kids...Your kids and you have to be the main focus now in your life...not your WS...you put too much emphasis on HIM...he is not being a nice person right now, he needs to grow up. Move on without him (dont Divorce) JUST LIVE your life...he will find that very attractive...most men do...I am sorry if I am blunt and strong..I hate what he is doing do you...I want to come there where ever you are and slap him into somemajor reality ( no I am not a violent person...just Pregnant..lol.) I am sorry again if what I wrote hurts...YOU ARE a very compassinate person...you are very sweet, and very loyal..he is a very lucky man...but very stupid right now...as for your sister...I will hold back on that one...I was disapointed that she chose to aid in this mess...BUT on the other hand..at least she can fill you in...Good Luck MP forget him (yea right) DONT CALL him, and get a sitter and go out and have some fun...watch him freak...he wants control...and he has it...take it BACK...<BR>Take care MC

(((((((MP)))))))))<P>Hang in there girl.. your going to make this.. that hesitation was there for a reason when he said ... no. Did he want to say yes? DAMN straight he did. He won't say yes.. because then that means he has to deal with the fact that he is hurting you.. has something to give to you and he has to deal with the guilt that he is feeling. <P>Reading between the lines is what most of us only have.. just my perception of the space.. but you were there I wasn't. <P>He loves you, may not admit it.. my God.. he was married to you for 9 years. Its not gone.. its just put away.<P>Smile.. hug your girls and go get some ice cream.. take them fishing... show him that your doing his job.. and maybe he'll come running to fill those shoes. He loves his daughters... how could a father not. Do mommy stuff with them and DO daddy stuff with them.. He'll take notice.. Hey.. tell him you and the girls are going deer hunting.. get some tents.. pack up and go to the hills and pull out your binoculars and cameras and take all pictures you want. He'll be angry.. that he missed that with all of you.<P>Peace