How do you put a tap on your phone? I know it can't be used for evidence because of legal reasons, but I just want to protect myself. My W says she just needs time to fall back in love with me, but she is still talking with OM. I would love to find out what they are saying.

I'd think this one through very, very carefully. My cousin tapped their home phone lines and taped all calls. What he heard was unbearable and the marriage ended that same day. There are so many pieces of the WS situation I would love to know, but I would NEVER want to hear those phone calls. I can still rmember hearing the tapes my cousin played for me, it made me sick and it didn't even involve me. I lost all respect for his wife, who was my former friend.<P>~TD~

Ditto on what TD had to say.<P>You've got to remember that anything you might hear could be possibly said under the influence of the dreaded "fog" anyway. It could head you in the wrong direction...

You have to understand: my WS is in hot water with me right now. I am ready to boot her out if I find out anything physical is still going on with the OM. So, please tell me. Let me decide.

Hmmmmm....You can expect to hear the usual things people who are experiencing an intimate relationship will say. This sort of thing is never meant for others ears, that doesn't make it yucky in itself, it's just that it isn't said to you. I said many things to ow would be embarrassing to have another hear, but I am not particularly embarassed by the content. I suspect we would all be very unsettled listening to the intimacies of all the married couples we know...right? However, since you are trying to protect yourself, and need some "intelligence" re your wifes state of mind, perhaps you could tape, and have a trusted (very trusted) advisor listen, and interpret for you, without subjecting you to the emotional trauma of your wifes intimacies with om.

RadioShack sells what you need.<P>You can get a tape recorder, and a device that plugs into the phone line. It starts recording whenever any phone in the house is picked up.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

A Good Man,<P>You say that you are ready to boot her out. Where are you in the discovery of her affair? Have you read the book SAA and the material on this web site. Be very careful of making important decisions when you are very upset. <P>I can understand why you want to tap the phone, but do be careful of finding out too much detail. <P>Radio Shack sells a device that goes between the wall telephone jack, a tape recorder and a telephone. It turns on when the phone is picked up.<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by A Good Man:<BR><B> How do you put a tap on your phone? I know it can't be used for evidence because of legal reasons, but I just want to protect myself. My W says she just needs time to fall back in love with me, but she is still talking with OM. I would love to find out what they are saying.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I will agree with others not to do it. I JUST snuck a quick look at my wife's journal to see what she was up to and discovered the affair. And not only that but she said "I can't belive how much I want him. He doesn't even know it yet. He'll get my card soon and then he'll know."<P>Its hard getting that out of my mind. Nor will calling his number to hear his voice. I wish I had done neither and will never again snoop in my wife's life. If she doesn't love or trust me enough to tell me, I probably don't want to know.<P><BR>

A Good Man,<P>If you are determined that this is what you want to do..<P>Radio Shack does sell the recording device and the small voice activated tape recorder. Recorder device about $25 and tape recorder about $25-35. Some of the tape recorders are much more but that is not necessary. <P>Feel free to email me if you have any questions,,<BR>Nerlycrzy@aol.com

Dear A Good Man,<P>EVen though you didn't ask our advice, I wanted to say that I agree with you. If I were in your boat, I would want to know, I would HAVE TO KNOW THE ENTIRE TRUTH. What I could not bear is to be in the dark. I would rather know the WHOLE TRUTH so I can make an INFORMED decision about my life. <P>I cannot know all of my options unless I know the entire truth and I believe you have a right to know if your wife is still carrying on with someone. Don't let anyone add insult to injury and convince you that it is somehow WORSE to tap your phone than it is to have an EA affair! It's bad enough that you have been placed in this position!

A Good Man,<BR>I have to agree with everyone else, You should realy think about what your doing before you do it. I used this device on my phone and heard much more than I thought I was prepared for. You don't just hear what you want to hear, you hear everything. I would suggest finding a real close friend who you really trust and have them edit it before listing to it, let the friend decide if it is something you need to hear, or at least soften it up for you. <BR> <BR>Remember, if tapping is illigal, as it is in my state, the less people who know about it the better. My W's ex friend who was recorded, learned of the recording and attempted to go to the police. My wife of course was aware of the recording before I recorded her (she just forgot while she was spilling the beans about her A) so this makes it legal. Now your W may not remember having the knowledge of the tape prior to your recording her, so be careful.

Dana114,<P>I agree with you totally that the BS has the right to know the entire truth so that they can make an informed decision. Certainly taping a phone is not worse then having an EA/PA. Actually, I am a very big proponent of this point of view.<P>Now that my H and I are in recovery we have adapted the total honesty policy. Neither of us have anything to hide from the other. We have keystroke tracking software on our computers, we share passwords to all of our computer, email and chat accounts. Our phone conversations, mail, and everything else are totally available to the other. We have no privacy from each other. Instead of this being a invasion, it is the most incrediblely liberating thing in our marriage.<P>The point I, and the others are trying to make is that if A-Good-Man does tap the phone, he needs to brace himself for what he is going to hear. It could very likely put “videos” in his head that are very hard to turn off. The type of thing that drives a person nuts. From my experience, I feel that a person needs to be very selective of the type of information they gather. I felt that I needed to know who the women were that my H had affairs with. If the affairs were EA’s or PA’s, cyber/phone/in-person. How long each of them lasted. His affairs all started on the internet. So I got his IM buddy list and contacted each woman. Spoke to each of them at length, both in chat and on the phone. What I found was that I had trouble dealing with the intimate details… I eventually decided that I did not want that type of info because I hurt me too much. <P><BR>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Here's a couple of articles I got from one of the hacker sites I frequent.<P>Nell<P>************************************************************<P>How to tap phone lines <BR>NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site. <P>TAPPING<P>Everyone has at some time wanted to hear what a friend, the principal, the<BR>prom queen, or a neighbor has to say on the phone. There are several easy ways<BR>to tap into a phone line. None of the methods that I present will involve<BR>actually entering the house. You can do everything from the backyard I will<BR>discuss four methods of tapping a line. They go in order of increasing<BR>difficulty.<P>1. The "beige box": a beige box (or bud box) is actually better known as a<BR>"lineman" phone. They are terribly simple to construct, and are basically the<BR>easiest method to use They consist of nothing more than a phone with the<BR>modular plug that goes into the wall cut off, and two alligator clips attached<BR>to the red and green wires. The way to use this box, is to venture into the<BR>yard of the person you want to tap, and put it onto his line. This is best<BR>done at the bell phone box that is usually next to the gas meter. It should<BR>only have one screw holding it shut, and is very easily opened. Once you are<BR>in, you should see 4 screws with wires attached to them. If the house has one<BR>line, then clip the red lead to the first screw, and the green to the second.<BR>You are then on the "tappee's" phone. You will hear any conversation going on.<BR>I strongly recommend that you remove the speaker from the phone that you're<BR>using so the "tappee" can't hear every sound you make. If the house has two<BR>lines, then the second line is on screws three and four. If you connect<BR>everything right, but you don't get on the line, then you probably have the<BR>wires backward. Switch the red to the second screw and the green to the first.<BR>If no conversation is going on, you may realize that you can't tap the phone<BR>very well because you don't want to sit there all night, and if you are on the<BR>phone, then the poor tappee can't dial out, and that could be bad...so.......<BR>method two.<P>2. The recorder: This method is probably the most widespread, and you still<BR>don't have to be a genius to do it. There are LOTS of ways to tape<BR>conversations The two easiest are either to put a "telephone induction<BR>pickup" (Radio Shack $1.99) on the beige box you were using, then plugging it<BR>into the microphone jack of a small tape recorder, and leaving it on record.<BR>Or plugging the recorder right into the line. This can be done by taking a<BR>walkman plug, and cutting off the earphones, then pick one of the two earphone<BR>wires, and strip it. There should be another wire inside the one you just<BR>stripped. Strip that one too, and attach alligators to them. Then follow the<BR>beige box instructions to tape the conversation. In order to save tape, you<BR>may want to use a voice activated recorder (Radio Shack $59), or if your<BR>recorder has a "remote" jack, you can get a "telephone recorder control" at<BR>Radio shack shack for $19 that turns the recorder on when the phone is on, and<BR>off when the phone is off. This little box plugs right into the wall<BR>(modularly of course), so it is best NOT to remove the modular plug for it.<BR>Work around it if you can. If not, then just do you best to get a good<BR>connection. When recording, it is good to keep your recorder hidden from sight<BR>(in the Bell box if possible), but in a place easy enough to change tapes from.<P>3. The wireless microphone this is the BUG. It transmits a signal from<BR>the phone to the radio (FM band). You may remember Mr. Microphone (from<BR>Kaytel fame); these wireless microphones are available from Radio Shack for<BR>$19. They are easy to build and easy to hook up. There are so many different<BR>models, that is is almost impossible to tell you exactly what to do. The most<BR>common thing to do is to cut off the microphone element, and attach these two<BR>wires to screws one and two. The line MIGHT, depending on the brand, be<BR>"permanently off hook". This is bad, but by phucking around with it for a<BR>while, you should get it working. There are two drawbacks to using this<BR>method. One, is that the poor ******* who is getting his phone tapped might<BR>hear himself on "FM 88, the principal connection". The second problem is the<BR>range The store bought transmitters have a VERY short range I suggest that<BR>you build the customized version I will present in part four (it's cheaper<BR>too). Now on to the best of all the methods....<P>4. The "easy-talks": This method combines all the best aspects of all the<BR>the other methods. It only has one drawback... You need a set of "Easy-talk"<BR>walkie talkies. They are voice activated, and cost about $59 You can find<BR>'em at toy stores, and "hi-tech" catalogs. I think t(at any voice activated<BR>walkie talkies will work, but I have only tried the easy-talks. First, you<BR>have to decide on one for the "transmitter" and one for the "receiver". It is<BR>best to use the one with the strongest transmission to transmit, even though it<BR>may receive better also. De-solder the speaker of the "transmitter", and the<BR>microphone of the "receiver". Now, go to the box. put the walkie talkie on<BR>"VOX" and hook the microphone leads (as in method three) to the first and<BR>second screws in the box. Now go home, and listen on your walkie talkie. If<BR>nothing happens, then the phone signal wasn't strong enough to "activate" the<BR>transmission. If this happens, there are two things you can do. One, add some<BR>ground lines to the microphone plugs. This is the most inconspicuous, but if<BR>it doesn't work then you need an amplifier, like a walkman with two earphone<BR>plugs Put the first plug on the line, and then into one of the jacks. Then<BR>turn the volume all the way up (w/out pressing play). Next connect the second<BR>earphone plug to the mice wires, and into the second earphone outlet on the<BR>walkman. Now put the whole mess in the box, and lock it up. This should do<BR>the trick. It gives you a private radio station to listen to them on you can<BR>turn it off when something boring comes on, and you can tape off the walkie<BR>talkie speaker that you have!<P>WIRELESS TRANSMITTER PLANZ<P>This is a tiny transmitter that consists on a one colpitts oscillator that<BR>derives it's power from the phone line. Since the resistance it puts on the<BR>line is less than 100 ohms, it has no effect on the telephone performance, and<BR>can not be detected by the phone company, or the tappee. Since it is a<BR>low-powered device using no antenna for radiation, it is legal to the FCC.<BR>(That is it complies with part 15 of the FCC rules and regulations). It,<BR>however is still illegal to do, it's just that what you're using to do it is<BR>legal This is explained later in part 15... "no person shall use such a<BR>device for eavesdropping unless authorized by all parties of the conversation"<BR>(then it's not eavesdropping is it?). What this thing does, is use four diodes<BR>to form a "bridge rectifier". It produces a varying dc voltage varying with<BR>the auto-signals on the line. That voltage is used to supply the the voltage<BR>for the oscillator transistor Which is connected to a radio circuit From<BR>there, you can tune it to any channel you want. The rest will all be explained<BR>in a minute....<P>PARTS LIST<BR>ite description<BR>-----------------------------------------------------------------<BR>C 47-Pf ceramic disk capacitor<BR>C2,C 27-Pf mica capacitor<BR>CR1,CR2,CR3,CR4 germanium diode 1n90 or equivalent<BR>R 100 ohm, 1/4 watt 10% composition resistor<BR>R 10k, 1/4 watt 10% composition resistor<BR>R .7k, 1/4 watt 10% composition resistor<BR>L 2 uH radio frequency choke (see text)<BR>L 5 turns No.20 wire (see text)<BR>Q Npn rf transistor 2N5179 or equivalent<BR>-----------------------------------------------------------------<P>L1 may be constructed by winding approximately 40 turns of No. 36 enamel<BR>wire on a mega-ohm, 1/2 watt resistor The value of L1 is not critical. L2<BR>can be made by wrapping 5 turns of No 20 wire around a 1/4 inch form. After<BR>the wire is wrapped, the form can be removed. Just solder it into place on the<BR>circuit board It should hold quite nicely. Also be sure to position Q1 so<BR>that the emitter, base, and collector are in the proper holes The schematic<BR>should be pretty easy to follow. Although it has an unusual number of grounds,<BR>it still works.<P>------------------L1----------------<BR>--<BR>CR1 / \ CR ----------------<BR>A--------------/ \ - ----<BR>\ C2 L2<BR>CR3 \ /CR4 C1 R2 ----<BR>R - gnd C3<BR>--- -----<BR>gnd<BR>---------Base collector<BR>R \ /<BR>B---------------------- \/\ <- Q1<BR>gn \/<P>emitter(gnd)<P>The odd thing about this bug that we haven't encountered yet, is that it is<BR>put on only one wire (either red or green) so go to the box, remove the red<BR>wire that was ALREADY on screw #1 and attach it to wire 'A' of the bug. Then<BR>attach wire 'B' to the screw itself. You can adjust the frequency which it<BR>comes out on the FM channel by either smooshing, or widening the coils of L2.<BR>It takes a few minutes to get to work right, but it is also very versatile.<BR>You can change the frequency at will, and you can easily record off your radio.<P>HELPFUL HINTS<P>First of all, With method one, the beige box, you may notice that you can<BR>also dial out on the phone you use. I don't recommend that you do this. If<BR>you decide to anyway, and do something conspicuous like set up a 30 person<BR>conference for three hours, then I suggest that you make sure the people are<BR>either out of town or dead. In general, when you tap a line, you must be<BR>careful. I test everything I make on my line first, then install it late at<BR>night I would not recommend that you leave a recorder on all day. Put it on<BR>when you want it going, and take it off when you're done. As far as recording<BR>goes, I think that if there is a recorder on the line it sends a sporadic beep<BR>back to the phone co. I know that if you don't record directly off the line<BR>(i.e off your radio) then even the most sophisticated equipment can't tell that<BR>you're recording. Also, make sure that when you install something, the people<BR>are NOT on the line. Installation tends to make lots of scratchy sounds,<BR>clicks and static. It is generally a good thing to avoid. It doesn't take too<BR>much intelligence to just make a call to the house before you go to install the<BR>thing If it's busy then wait a while. (This of course does not apply if you<BR>are making a "midnight run").<P>All in all, if you use common sense, and are *VERY* careful, chances are you<BR>won't get caught. Never think that you're unstoppable, and don't broadcast<BR>what you're doing. Keep it to yourself, and you can have a great time.<P><BR>To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.<BR>The site layout, page layout, and all original artwork on this site are Copyright © 2001 totse.com.<BR>If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy. <P>************************************************************<BR>Text file on call taping <BR>NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site. <P>File: How to use Call Waiting to tap phones<BR>Uploaded by: Elric of Imrryr<BR>Downloaded: 39<BR>File size: 2713 characters<P>Press space when you're ready, or [X] to abort...<P>+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+<BR>* *<BR>+ THE CALL WAITING TAP +<BR>* *<BR>+ WRITTEN BY: The Byte +<BR>* *<BR>+ DISTRIBUTED BY:Elric of Imrryr +<BR>*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*<P>So, you have an enemy who talks behind your back, eh? Or, maybe you just would<BR>like to "listen" in on your friend's conversations? Well, if you have<BR>2 phone lines and call waiting on one of them, you are in luck. (Only one<BR>problem: your friend must also have call waiting!)<P>Procedure:<P>[1] Call up your friend with the phone you want to listen with. When he<BR>answers call waiting (he's already on the phone, and you are the 2nd<BR>caller), then you either sit there or say: sorry, I have the wrong #.<P>[2] Next, you wait until he goes back to the other line (puts you on hold).<P>[3] Then, pick up your other line and call ->YOUR<- call waiting.<P>[4] Answer call waiting<P>[5] Then go back to him. (Answer, and then click back.. Click ->2<- times<BR>Answer, and go back..)<P>[6] Hang up your second line<P>[7] You are now on the line!<P>[8] Listen and be Q U I E T ! He can hear you!<P>Techniques I use to prevent noise or confusion:<P>If you have call forwarding, turn it on and forward calls somewhere<BR>before you start listening. If a call comes through on your call waiting circuit<BR>, the people talking (your buddie and his pal) will not hear<BR>anything, but after you answer call waiting and come back, they will<BR>hear the other call hang up (two clicks). If you don't have call forwarding,<BR>I suggest you get it if you are going to make a habit of this, because it<BR>will become a major pain in the [censored]. When your call waiting rings, you are<BR>removed from the "listening" conversation and placed back on his hold<BR>circuit. In order to get back on, you must answer the phone and wait for<BR>your party (when you answer the phone, tell the guy you are in a hurry and<BR>you have to go or you'll call him back later or something) to hang up. When<BR>he or she hangs up, you will be back on the conversation. Then, one of your<BR>pals will say: What was that? (because of the clicks).. So, try to use call<BR>forwarding if you can. Remember: Have fun, and don't abuse it. I am not sure<BR>about it, because I just discovered it. It is illegal (what isn't these days)<BR>because it is "invading privacy". I don't know if the phone company just did<BR>not realize there was a flaw in it, or that was planned for line testing, I<BR>am not sure. Have fun!<BR>-THE BYTE<BR>[ Be careful and remember in no way ]<BR>[ am I responsible for your actions ]<P><BR>To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.<BR>The site layout, page layout, and all original artwork on this site are Copyright © 2001 totse.com.<BR>If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy. <P><BR>

What an education.....

a good man,<P>A telephone tape recorder is your best bet. They're cheap and easy to install. But, as others have said, I strongly advise you have a close friend listen to the tapes and only give you the necessary details. This should probably be a friend that is not particularly close to your W. They may hear things that will change the way they think of your W forever. I listened to the tapes myself, and heard my W say some horrible things about me to her friends. I know this is common because the worse a WS can make you look the easier it is to justify what they are doing, but it hurt like you can't believe.<P>In my case my W found out about the recorder after I stopped using it and tried to convince me that she knew about it all along and said what she did to hurt me because I was spying. She was lying, but be prepared for that defense. Actually, when you hear what you need to, I would never tell her what you heard. If the A is still ongoing, just let her know you're aware of it. Maybe give her some small detail that she could never connect to the tapes, just so she knows you really do know and aren't just speculating. I did that and it drove my W crazy trying to figure out how I knew. You'll know and she knows and that's all that matters. Nothing you hear is admissable in court and letting her know you were taping her can get YOU in trouble. <P>sad dad

AGM - if she persists in talking with OM you have to assume there is still a physical relationship, or that if there is a lull, it is only temporary. The book Surviving an Affair, and the web site materials, describe the affair like an addiction that is almost impossible to stop, unless there is a total withdrawal and no contact. So that is the thing to look for, no verbal contact.<P>Can you be satisfied with a simpler yes/no answer? Just moving from 90% to 100% certainty they are still meeting? Or still talking? If so, try and think of ways to get just enough information without all the details. I agree with many others, those details will be practically impossible to get out of your head.<P>In my case, I found some of my wife's emails to 2 different guys, and in each one he was the best for her, never felt so alive, yada, yada, yada. There was also a draft email to one of them (apparently never sent), breaking up with him, saying that he wasn't the best, disappointing in the sack, let's still be friends, and so on. It helped me to dismiss some of the details by thinking my wife was playing games with them. <P>If you go ahead with a recording and hear "too much", try to remember that she's looking at the guy through rose-colored glasses, and that she's not having to deal with any of his flaws right now.