I have to chime in with a marinade for chicken that is out of this world...if you are on the West Coast it is BEST FOODS Citrus Blends Salad dressing--I prefer the Oriental Citrux...(???Hellman's East of the Mississippi???) I take boneless chicken breasts and the salad dressing put them into a freezer zipper bag...freeze them...while they are freezing and thawing they 'marinade.' I then broil or grill them...even my kids love it! <P>WAT I hope you are feeling better today...I saw "Family Man"...there is a scene where the little girl believes the Nicholas Cage character is an alien replacement for her 'real' dad...it is hysterical...then later in the movie when he is about to return to his 'real' life, the little girl tells him to tell the 'mothership' hello for her...I was dying with laughter and my H couldn't understand what was so funny...and, of course, there was really no way for me to explain ...<P>Take care,<BR>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Isn't that movie great! I laughed so hard at the part you mentioned my H looked over at me like I was nuts or something! LOL! I agree,no explaining that one. A MBer inside joke!

OK, that does it - guess it'll be a blockbuster night.<P>Dave

OK, first I"ll say I ONLY read your first post and I didn't read through everyone's reply to you so forgive me if I repeat anything someone else might have said to you but I highly doubt it.<BR>Here goes some of my not so favorable honesty.<P>From reading your original post this what I thought. You are actually the one who seems to be dealing with alot of anger and resentment over the current situation. Granted you have a right to be hurt and angry but you sound as though you turn that around on her and make it all her problem, her fault.<BR>Talking to you about making things easier for child as far as going back to school and back and forth between the houses, you take all that to mean she is trying to make her life easier, that's where the why can't you see beyond your immedaite needs comes from? It sounded to me like she was actually thinking of your sons needs here. Being at your house when he needs help with math and science and being at her house when it's english and lit. HOw is that about her needs?<BR>You mention the mess "she" created. Probably true but is she not getting on with her life? When will you? She left you, she left her son and you are so bitter about that that everything she does seems to be about her in your mind. Maybe some of it is but I dont see how this is. You talk about fixing the real problem. Is the real problem that she's in love with another man and not you anymore? That she choose to live somewhere else? These things arent necessarily going to be "fixed" to your liking. You want her to admit she made a mistake, that she loves you, and have her come home to you again. Maybe you might want to consider that that will never happen. It's always a mess when there's a break up of a home but finger pointing and blaming doesn't do any good.<BR>I'm not trying to dog you or take her side or anything like that, I'm ONLY stating what I see here and Im sure, as always, it won't go over too well with everyone else or you.<BR>I might as well apologize now for offending you or making you more upset. Sorry.

LOL--being new to the group, all the responses to your topic made me realize that there are others out in the same boat. <P>The vinegar marinade, on the other had, didn't seem to grab my attention as much as perusing the aisles at Costco, looking for gadgets. Great stress relief--<P>

shedawg - thanks for your reply.<P>I fully understand your point about how she was thinking about our son's needs, etc. But I maintain she's placing her "needs" above his. She created the "need" for us to have to jump thru these hoops. She had ample opportunity to end our marriage in a controlled, civilized manner instead of in a uncontained crisis - if that is what was required. Sure, she may feel like she loves this man. What you may have forgotten, or maybe never understood, is that she's not running to him or away from me - she's mostly self-medicating her unresolved grief due to the loss of our other son. So, the "real problem" is within her. She needs to confront her grief and face her demons. The other thing you may not be aware of is the devastion created needlessly in the other family. I'm sorry, I cannot excuse this as just another turn in the road of life as you suggest, without attempting to fix things that are fixable.<P>If she had tried to work on our relationship, tried to see what our problems were, attempted to find solutions first instead of fleeing and creating havoc, I would not be so frustrated. Given a thorough examination of our situation, I might have enthusiastically agreed to end the marriage if it were truly unfixable. But we don't know this.<P>My frustration and delay to "get on with my life" is due to my understanding of what she's going thru and my compassion to help her. This is not about me. It's about what is very likely the best for her and my son.<P>So yes, I am blaming the current situation on her. The current situation being defined as her rampage thru the neighborhood, creating a crisis to soothe a previous crisis for which she refuses help. This doesn't mean I'm blameless for helping to create the environment for her escape.<P>You ask, "is she not getting on with her life?" Yep, she sure is, without much consideration for the dozen or so lives she's left in her wake. C'mon, shedawg, you can't be serious? She'll continue running away until she finds or creates a new crisis to escape this one. <P>So, you did misunderstand a lot of things. Mostly that I feel more frustration than anger because, like an alcoholic or drug addict, she can't see herself.<P>WAT

Wait a minute, shedawg, I didn't think of this while I was first responding to you - are you my wife? her ghost-writer? her attorney? <P>I'm not trying to be funny.<P>WAT

lol...I had to laugh.<BR>NO, I"m not your wife or her attorney or even someone who knows either of you.<P>I am just of the mind that after a certain amount of time and trying you just have to kind of cut the strings as best as you can. You can only do so much to point out her faults to her and make her change her mind. Sometimes you just have to let people come to their own on their own and you don't seem to want to do this or allow her to do this. You want to hold on and point fingers.<BR>Again, I'm not saying any of this to anger you. Obviously I have my own views on life and people and its cool that yours are different, that's what makes the world go round.

OK, shedawg, I understand and I am well on the way to letting her go. I am an walking MB success story for sustaining my trial and coming out stronger than when I started.<P>The purpose of my original post, before it denigrated into cooking steaks, was to just let off some steam due to my frustration with her failure to see there's an easier way out.<P>You see, we were a terrific team in the battle against my son's disease. We set the standard for parental care at our hospital - they rewrote the rules after we demonstrated how it could be done. In another "medical" episode, we together saved the life of our neighbor who sustained a very severe asthma attack.<P>If we can accomplish those things, we can mount a sincere effort to treat our marriage problems. My frustartion comes from her lack of desire to even try - with the memory of how hard we tried together on the other things.<P>She's willing to sustain the hardships of having a broken home without even trying to fix it? - after what we've been through? This is what I cannot reconcile.<P>Understand?<P>Dave

Hey, I liked it when it was about steaks. But I have a good recipe, too. First you go to Costco and buy one of those Ronco Jr. Showtime Rotisseriee & BBQ Ovens. Then you marinate your chicken breasts in soy sauce for a couple of hours. While the chicken it "rotisserizing", which only takes about 15 minutes, make a sauce:<P>1/4 c. soy sauce<BR>1 tbsp vinegar or white wine<BR>1 tsp. Oriental five-spice powder<BR>1 tbsp. beef bouillon crystal thingies (instant)<BR>2/3 c. water<BR>2 tbsp. cornstarch<BR>2 - 3 fresh mushrooms<P>Be sure to put the cornstarch in the mixture while it's COLD, guys. Serve sauce on chicken. Yummy.......<P>Seriously, though, I think WAT is just venting more than anything else. That's what this board is for, not chastising people. I found an interesting study the other day, and thought I'd pass it along, although I'm working from memory, so don't quote me..... <P>Say 10 people chose divorce as the solution to their problems. After two years, 70% of them will consider their divorce a serious mistake, and 50% will have already gone through ANOTHER divorce! Only ONE of the ten will even CLAIM to have a happy life after 10 years......hmmm.....<P>Divorce is not the answer.....although if someone walks out on you, you have no way of controlling that. I admire you, WAT, for your perserverance.<P>That's just my two cents (and my recipe) <P>Bound<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bound for better days:<BR><B>Say 10 people chose divorce as the solution to their problems. After two years, 70% of them will consider their divorce a serious mistake, and 50% will have already gone through ANOTHER divorce! Only ONE of the ten will even CLAIM to have a happy life after 10 years......hmmm.....<P>Divorce is not the answer.....although if someone walks out on you, you have no way of controlling that. I admire you, WAT, for your perserverance.<P>That's just my two cents (and my recipe) <P>Bound<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>liked te recipe.<P>my stbx is the 1 person who will be happy, the 30% that will not regret the D. I hate the fact that he is happy with OW. I wish they both just drop off the face of the earth., sorry having a bad day. I am tired of being nice.<BR>

Sorry, Sing. Cheer up. What goes around comes around, every time. You may feel like that now, but wait and see. They will get their just reward........<P>B<BR>

yes sing - they may be playing the part today, but there are many, many tomorrows - each one representing a challenge to continue the charade.<P>Dave

Better Days,<P>You are one heck of a nice person. Thank you!<P>And Sing honey, what BD says is true. Just take care of you and children and try your hardest to start feeling some joy in your life, cuz it can be awefully short.<P>Much Love to you both,<BR>Jo

Thanks guys. I do well most days, it was just finding out STBX & OW were looking at houses that has totaly ticked me off. I am starting to worry about money. I have as much sense about money as your average 2 yr old, see money, spend money I know I am way too spoiled. I will learn not to spend.<P>Upside of them looking at houses OS is really ticked because his Dad told him he couldn't afford to buy him a truck. OS thinks he is being abused by being 17 & no car of his own.<P>Now to get through OS fball game tomorrow. It is the 1st homegame of a new school, it should be fun. OW better not be there. She went to a scrimmage but it was known I wasn't going.<P>Oh the fun we go through when our WS decide to stray

wanted to add my favorite recipe<P>repeat after me <P><BR><B><I>LET'S EAT OUT</I></B><P>

Sounds good to me !!<P>I say Sushi !<P>Lisa

Why, thank you, Resilient! Likewise..... <BR>B<BR>

Before I say anything else, I want to say I admire all you ladies for having so much class - even you Essex gals, GeezLouise. Believe me, there are good guys out here who would appreciate your love and compassion.<P>sing, you made my day with your recipe!!!<P>Now Lisa, that sushi makes TERRIFIC bait. Where's Xman when I need him??<P>Dave

Dave,<P>At $10.00 + per lb, that sashimi (real japanese name for raw fish - sushi is just marinated rice with something) bait better be for some high class somthing...... Sometimes it is over $20.00 per lb. <P>Glad to see you in better spirits. <P>L.<P><BR>