Its been a few months since I've posted. A little background: D-Day was mid-March.... The OW was a family "friend" who we saw as a group at least 2-3 times per month and spent most of our holidays with... I never told her husband, though its been hard since they work up the street, and are still friendly with extended family. <P>Anyway, we've been through counseling, and have been working on things... However, we still have some holes - and I'm wondering if we're "on track" compared with some of the folks out there. My H still hasn't finished the Harley Book I strongly urged him to read (its been 2 months, and he's halfway done, which really irritates me)... our bedroom stuff is much better, but he still is lagging in the affection department, and still seems short tempered with me at times, even though I'm trying my best to overlook that. (There have been some occasions where I've picked his behavior apart...) For instance, the OW attends the same church, and after the service, I really wanted my H to put his arm around me, or something in front of her...I still feel very insecure when she's around, and try to avoid it at all costs... Is that wrong to want him to display some affection? Or am I just way to insecure now... She's still cozy w/ family members, and I'm getting past the humiliation and urge to rat on her, but the pain is still there for me.... This is 5 months+ - - do I just need more patience? Please give me some helpful pointers.<P>Sincerely, thanks.

Boy, don't let my name fool you on this one... Helpful pointers on dealing with OW flauting herself and her innocence in front of you at church!!!!! YUCK 10 TIMES!<P>You are NOT being overly insecure, IMO, and I think your H could stand to be a bit more reassuring and securing of his love for you whenever OW is around... <P>She is not fooling God. Sounds like she is acting like she got away with something. Not in God's eyes, and remember the Word says that our sin will find us out, and another scripture that says let she who thinks she stands take heed lest she fall... Resist the temptation to potentially ruin her marriage as the devil has "tried" to ruin yours. Obviously his attempt failed, you are still married! You're doing very well from where I stand on the outside looking in.<P>Sooo, one helpful pointer is to REMEMBER GOD will take care of OW AND your H as they continue to wrong you (real or imagined)... Go to Him and let Him protect you from their ignorance of your feelings (blatant or accidental).<P>Another helpful pointer is to maybe read aloud to your husband certain pages or chapters from HNHN that you particularly enjoyed. That's how my H and I are getting through the book--together. Whenever he has a few minutes of spare time or use your conversation time to maybe take turns reading to each other? Do you think he would be open to that? It really is a great book and fun to read.<P>Your H may still be feeling a lot guilty and also dealing with issues of his own, so you need to be sensitive to him also, in spite of all your pain. <P>My heart is out to you. Sending prayers too! Hang in there, what you are experiencing is only an opportunity for God to show Himself strong on your behalf!