That finally happened,
two days after my birthday, so it would be easy to remember each year,
My friend told me she read the notice in the local newspaper, everyone around me red, everyone knows, except me. Noone had curriage to tell me, neither my parents who also read.
My od claims she didn't knew that, neither YD who went to him on weekend when I was in the shop, not evn told me she would go.
I doubt they didn't know.
I can't stop crying, how could he come to me the next day (23rd) not telling me anything, how could he come few times till today, last time on Monday-not telling me(didn't wear the rin)
Even on Sun 23rd in a fight when I was crying telling him I loved him, he told me being very serious "SHE does not love me".
The baby comes in March.
My yd is there obviously not caring about her father's marriage.
Noone cares.
Everyone is happy.
How to go thru this?
How to live?
Why to live at all.
It's better to take some pills and sleep, sleep, sleep

B & D,<p>There is no one on this earth worth taking your own life ... NO ONE.<p>I'm so sorry, I felt the sinking in my chest when I read he married her. It felt like I was hearing it about my xH. I know I would feel as you, HOW COULD HE? <p>I'm so very sorry. I know you're in tremendous pain. I wish I could take it away.<p>He can't do anything else to hurt you now. There's no more. You won't have to endure any more emotional abuse from his actions. <p>Please post back so I know you'e okay.<p>Lv,
Jo

B & D---My heart goes out to YOU and I care about you without even knowing you. When I saw your subject to this post, my heart ached for you without even reading the post. You are a valuable human being with your whole life ahead of you. You HAVE every reason to go on. For your daughters for one, for yourself for another and for your family and friends. Why do you let someone who is incompetant and selfish rule your heart and mind. God has a plan for all of us and He wants us to fight the obstacles that get in the way of that plan. The plan is that He made you and He wants to love you and be loved by you. He wants you to find enjoyment out of the things He has given you and he wants your daughters to know His love too. Your abandoning them in any way will not show God's love.<p>Are you in counseling? Why have you gone on so long in the place you are right now? Why do you expect anything from XH? He is incapable of caring for you so let God care for you in other ways.<p>Please get one on one help so that you can heal and let go of this ingrate. He is not happy...he just thinks he is. All the problems he had in your marriage went with him to this one cause he was a big part of your marital discord. <p>Please help yourself and learn to love what is available to you,
TW

betrayed and desperate,<p>You have 2 D right ?. Focus on them they will need your guidance in live and probably you should learn MB so that you could teach them to protect their marriage or relation.<p>I have 2 D and 9y/o and 12y/o. They are both with me and we cherish every moment I have with and so do they. Hang in there and there is so much to look for.<p>Get help here, some of us have email that could send it to w/ you phone so that we could contact you.

B&D - We feel your pain and we KNOW you can pull thru this. If I can, you can. I lost a son to cancer and a wife to adultery in less than a year. I was where you are feeling today, but now I am thriving! Look to your daughters for inspiration and strength. They need you and they will return the love you show them. Don't be upset with YD's apparent acceptance of H's decision. She wants to please you both nd she will ALWAYS be YOUR daughter - loving you. Just because she loves her dad does not mean she has approved his behavior.<p>Please stay with us and lean on us.

B&D,
I am ususally on the pregnancy and child forum (ow/oc's)....<p>I feel for you and agree with the others that it's not worth losing your life. I care. I wish I could chat with you and just be there for you right now...all I can do is pray and pray I shall.<p>This too shall pass. It doesn't look it right now, but it shall pass.<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

Sometimes it seems like the whole world has abandoned us. It is so lonley and friegthening. It hurts so much. Ending it all seems attractive. so peaceful. <p>Many people think about taking their own life. There is nothing wrong with that. What we think about and how we react to it can be different. It takes courage to face those thoughts. Fortunately we also have a will to live and even when we are hurt or angry, a lot of love for those who are close to us. <p>Are you thinking about taking your life? Do you have pills to take? What kind? How many? Is there anyone with you? <p>Have you thought about who will find you? How will they react? What will they say? What will your D's think/feel? <p>These are healthy thoughts to explore. We all have dark sides and in times of crises they tend to come out. Posting can be a slow way to communicate. Look in your local directory for a "Distress Line" or a "Help Line". There are people there who are very good listeners and aren't afraid to talk about these things. They can help you feel better. <p>In the mean time, take a break from all your pain and spoil yourself instead. You deserve it. Fill the tub with bubbles, light some candles, turn on some music and fade away into La La land. Let peace fill your heart.

{{{{ B & D }}}}}
I don't know if we have interacted but I know you have some special friends here who care about you!
You know that most of us know what this kind of pain is like & I for one want you to know that I am praying for your peace & saftey. <p>We'll pull through this!
Perhaps it would help if you could think about the idea of a kind of slogan: "Let it go ... to your higher power"
Keep us updated!
HH

B&D,<p>I am going to e-mail you when I get home. You need to respond!!! Please respond to this board and let us know how you are doing. <p>B&D, you need to let go and move on. I know this is hard and you are still hurting a lot. But for you to remain in this state is not healthy for you. Check out those on the Divorce/divorcing site, many of those there have gone through what you have and then some. They have survived. Some of them even post here on GQII. <p>Listen to them B&D, your life is too important to throw it away for someone with lessor qualities. Talk to us ok?!?! <p>Hugz,
L.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong>B&D,<p>I am going to e-mail you when I get home. You need to respond!!! Please respond to this board and let us know how you are doing. <p>B&D, you need to let go and move on. I know this is hard and you are still hurting a lot. But for you to remain in this state is not healthy for you. Check out those on the Divorce/divorcing site, many of those there have gone through what you have and then some. They have survived. Some of them even post here on GQII. <p>Listen to them B&D, your life is too important to throw it away for someone with lessor qualities. Talk to us ok?!?! <p>Hugz,
L.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi O, [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>B & D also has a similar thread going on in "Rcovery" and Leilana is working with her I believe. Maybe check it out.<p>I hope you are well, Hon.<p>Lv,
Jo

I have her e-mail addy. I will see if she can talk. I am still at work so I can't look it up until I get home. <p>I'm doing ok. Thanks for asking. <p>L.

BAD,<p>I'm sorry you're going through this too. I don't have any advice just wanted you to know you're in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Unsure

Dear Betrated, DO NOT TAKE THE PILLS! LISTEN, PLEASE!!!<p>My adult son was where you are a year ago from all of the mess my H and I were in. He literally started crying one cold January day from pain and could not stop. His heart and mind couldn't take it any more.<p>Even though I wanted a bottle of magic pills to end things, I looked at him and had to do something to save my "baby".<p>He was admitted to our local hospital psych unit where he rested and was treated for depression.<p>He thanks me today for talking to him and acting out his wishes to go to the hospital.<p>If you feel like harming yourself, please call someone and go to the hospital through the emergency room. You will get temporary relief and long term counseling and I promise you it will help.<p>Please Betrayed!<p>Answer us.<p>I know it's a heartbreaking thing to have happened to you.<p>We are all proof that a tomorrow will bring a better day.<p>Let us know you've read our wishes for you.<p>love
Debi

b and d, I know how awful this must be, but take care of you... you had a life before this man, and you can have a life without him... who knows what on earth possessed him, and unfortuntately the girl got pg... and is having it! Oh my, it is awful and miserable, but you can go on... he is wrong for doing this, and it is not your fault.. it sounds that maybe he is still confused and even in denial about it...unfortunately he must of got carried awy in the sf dept... and the girl may of had a little plan going... see... So-I would just let it go, talk to us, and have friends, you will be OK.<p>Hugs, HONEY

OMG,
yesterday when I needed friends so much I haven't had access to internet.
I had to wait till now, I came to the office 1/2 an hour earlier to see your friends.
Yesterday was awful. Finally I got the paper where the notice is written , among at least 20 coupples I immeadetly saw their names. I was devastated.
And above all my OD who is at home being sick almost doesn't talk with me-cause I am mad I had to expect that, I had to know, What's big deal, dad loves her so much, even if he finds her in bed with someone he would forgive her, you are crazy, two yrs had passed.....and so on so on...<p>My YD when OD told her on the phone that dad married didn't feel to come home to me, just opposite she returned from them about 11pm yesterday, completely not talking with me.<p>Who is here crazy?
I haven't cheated, I haven't kicked him and DD from the house, I haven't married, I am all alone and....<p>I mentioned I am an atheist so it's hard to believe that God does the best for me. What could be His plans? What good can come from those events? Can anything good in fact come ever?<p>I am so desperate. It IS a bit better than on Fri but I am in the office and can't imagine to work, I teach students, and I will make a lecture today, but that is something I do for so many yrs so I can improvise, what tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. My scientific work stopped 1.5yrs ago and my chief would not let go like that much longer but I can't imagine to "investigate" anything more. Cause of that I lost my marriage.<p>My daughters are so cold.
YD didn't say Hello last night so where to hang,.
I miss my H shoulder, him next to me to share problems.
I can't sleep in this lousy empty bed no more.<p>Guys, you are realy only one who understand, who realy can feel.
Thank you for help.
I wish I am a bit closer to you all, I know it would be easier to hear voice on the phone or to see someone of you, but I am so faaaaaaar.<p>I couldn't find my wedding pictures, the only one I have from my past , someone hided them, probably my DDs (they claim not). All the photos from my life are left with him and he doesn't want to return.
I am a woman without past, future and presence.
I am lost soul.<p>Thank you for care

Dear B&D,<p>Did you get me e-mail? I know you are hurting and hurting hard. As posted earlier you need to remember that you had a life before the H and will again. Your daughters are confused right now and maybe even angry. Children have a different way of showing it, they don't want either parent to hurt. <p>You are not alone. We may have some miles between us but we are as close as this board. OK? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You are a smart and resourceful woman. Please e-mail me so we can chat. There maybe someone closer to you. <p>Hugz,
L.

someone said "keep us updated"so:<p>Oh God, what else can happen.
Was that not enough?<p>Yest morning my mom's gynecologist phoned me and told that my mom had to go to surgery cause of vulvar CA.
She is 77 as suffers from hard tromocytopaenia and every surgery is dangerous .
I have no other relatives except parents, no brothers sisters, uncles, nephews...my parents were only kids of theirs.
So how now?
If some meds would be necessary neither them nor me has money-in our country financial situat is hard.
How to help her.
My mom is devastated with all that mass cause she loved him almost more than me , taking him like son.
Please pray<p>Right now I wish him to happen something like that, something realy bad to happen to him, his baby ,his parents and to be left alone with that
i can't stand that any more<p>Even OD shows signs of earlier diagnosed autoimmune disease (can be serious, till now fortunately was not) and deeply scared I immediately made an appointment for very expensive laboratory control tests (mostly would be made by a colleague on insurance) but she hardly refused to go cause"I didn't ask her, she is busy, who cares....)
And we had a huge fight-the concusion was: She would leave me , I am hysteric, YD would go also,
I can't beg someone to go to the doc, i did what i could.
I am left completely alone with mom's illness. And i can't bare any more<p>
But to say a truth I am so scraed about OD , and I am guilty for not making control test for more than a yr and now she has large areas of erythema exudativum multiforme like 4yrs ago.
Who would be guilty if something happens?
Me of course like always. So cause of the fear we yesterday screamed like devils and I was angry instead of showing fear.
Why am I so evil, I always do wrong, alwas in a wrong manner.Like I hate OW and I hate him for making all this mass not DDs but it always happen I say to them what is to be said to him
I tried to explain but she is so angry and hates me forever She'll go from me forever, YD also- she told me that she arranged with dad to live next school yr with him "when baby grows a little". Noone discussed or mentioned that till now.