and that about says it all...<p>I CAN'T TAKE LIMBOLAND ANY LONGER!<p>I'm w/ JD... I WANT TO NOT HURT ANYMORE... I want to feel something else... <p>We spent a good two hours back and forth at it... I was like a dog w/ a bone... I wouldn't let it go... WHY ARE YOU HERE... WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?<p>He says he is working on himself and I have to give him space. and he yelled I AM NOT TALKING TO HER... (yeah... big deal... not for two weeks.)<p>My aha in the tub a couple of hours later... it is not about her... if not her there would be some other her... <p>But I wouldn't let it go that the world doesn't revolve around him and his 'neglect' and 'emotional' abuse of me... was killing me slowly... I am on self-destruct... thoughts going where JDMac's are... there's a bunch a guys out there that aren't very particular if your married or not as well...<p>... and that I needed some kind of reassurance that we were headed some where... <p>...ended w/ him saying if I got him a new ring he'd wear it... whatever that means...<p>I really feel that some days I am hanging on by a thread...<p>AKA (C A L I)

Cali, I like your aha.. it would be another her... sad but true... but they do not even know it... my h broke it off last week, and talked to her at least 2x this week, it dro ve me over the edge too! I am praying for you... we are in this together... take care of you now... <p>honey

Hey TA,<p>What did I tell you before. You sound like me back in August. I wish you could be spared all this but sounds like your H is not ready yet. I even got the "well at least I'm here and not with her." speel.... hmm.... was I suppose to be grateful I had a grumpy, moppy man in my house? Well maybe before I would have accepted that but now? Nope. I well if this is what you are going to be like then go be like that somewhere else. Yep, I did not stop him.....in fact (I'll probably get torched for this) I kept opening that door. Anytime....honey...... you can go, just don't come back. Well after 4 months the attitude is finally changing. He is even admitting that OW c/b psyco and don't be surprised if she shows up on our doorstep. Ok, I have been warned. He has taken some action though he has a few more promises to keep (about changing his cell phone....job may change soon anyway....hope so.). <p>So TA, don't fight to keep what you don't need. Fight to keep what you do need. Start by not attacking him (this is very hard to do). K?<p>L.

TA,<p> I'm sorry we have to deal with this crap. I read some of the thread about 80% of BS become WS. It is easy to see why. What the WS and some of the BS talked about was that it would be a revenge affair. You and I know it would not be about revenge.<p> It has everything to do with being wanted and cared about. It has everything to do with wanting to be shown that we are lovable, that someone in this world does not think like our WS. <p> It is a damn shame our WS can't see us anymore. Like nothing we will ever do will be enough for them. <p> I am sorry for these feelings. But I WANT someone to show me I am worthwile to be around. That the changes I have made are worthy. <p> I want that person to be my WS. But, the longer she keeps me at arms length, the easier it will be for me to just not care any longer. <p> I am glad I have you people on this forum to talk with about this. <p> Hang in there C A L I. And if nothing else, promise us that you will kick his [censored] out for good before you let the thoughts become actions.<p> I make that promise to you guys/ladies now.<p> jd

Don't get too shook up guys... I have a surprise visitor today... a week early... guess I was PMSing and didn't realize it...<p>Most of the time I can keep these feelings from erupting... and since calendaring my cycle, I have even circumvented the PMS week... BUTTTT when it's early... what's a girl to do...<p>At least that explains the runaway feelings I was having... like I was cycling out of control...<p>JD... if for NO other reason than it would put me in the same realm as Princess, I will NOT become an WW... though I am enjoying myself and flirting when I can (safely [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>C A L I