I'm wondering if many of you good give me some advice on how to stop feel "on edge" and learning to trust again. <p>My first husband left me for another woman. It was very traumatic and I have found that after 5 years, I still and not very trusting. I have remarried and find myself almost feeling anxiety whenever anything comes up. My husband is getting ready to leave on a week long business trip and I can't help but feel bad and worried that "something" might happen because that is was started it all in the other marriage. <p>I know that this is a new marriage and a different person but I just can't escape these feelings if mistrust. My logical mind says that everything is fine but I still find myself looking for clues or paying extra attention for anything out of the ordinary. In my first marriage I was so so trusting that I never caught on even when I should have. Now it's like I have gone into detective mode. I'm careful to not nag or mention this concern because I know my husband will just laugh it off and won't understand because he's never been betrayed by a love. <p>I would love to just give up the ghost. I have prayed for help and guidance in learning that I can't control anyone and must not worry so much but I still find myself struggling with the issue of trust. <p>Can anyone help me learn how to find peace again with this issue. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can go weeks without worry but then something will trigger me and then I start to be overly concerned and cry.

Sorry for the typos. I was trying to capture my feelings and became lazy in my spelling. Opps

redshoe...<p>You really need to talk about this with your H. If you approach it properly I don't necesarily think he will laugh it off. Explain to him the anxiety you feel and why and stress that it is a serious issue for you.<p>There are lots of ways he can reassure you while he is gone that will cause you to worry less and trust more. (Phone calls, you being able to call him any time you feel anxious, having his itinerary--just keeping in touch...)<p>I know you said he didn't betray you, but he almost needs to treat you like he is the WS...<p>This sounds like a huge trigger for you and he needs to understand it... Put in the context of your previous marriage I think that it should be fairly easy for him to understand...<p>Good luck <p>E

Have you any advice on how to feel at ease again?
Remember the old pink panther movies, where Peter
Sellers is always on guard in his home because his
butler keeps attacking him when he enters. LOL that's
how I feel. Like I'm protecting my own self from
future hurt. <p>I would just love to learn how to lighten up and feel
safe again. Feel light, feel laughter. I do laugh
don't get me wrong, I'm not a walking wounded in terms
of being jolly. I just have this little tickle in the
back of my mind that makes me worry that adultry might
happen again. <p>How do you get back that feeling of security and
confidence to just carry on without worry??

Communicate your concerns to your H. Tell him waht you are telling us here...<p>He is the person who can most help you feel at ease...<p>If you can't do it directly, then see a counselor or a clergy person with him...but do it and the sooner the better.<p>Read some of the stories here and see what can happen when communication doesn't happen. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>This really is the easiest way for you to move forward...make certain your H understand just how important this is to you.<p>Good luck <p>E