hey there jd, huge {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} to you at this time of pain.<p>I wish I had words of wisdom or assistance but sadly I do not, all I can express is my sincere hope that you get through this as best you can with yourself intact. <p>I am not the best person to give advice in your situation, having been on my own with my kids now for almost 7 years, but the one thing I do know, and can assure you, is that eventually you will find peace, and yes even happiness, although it looks so far away right now.<p>Hugs and prayers<p>Respectfully

Hey JD,<p> Sorry that it came to this for you, but, I can tell you that after I made up my mind to follow thru with the D, my thinking and perception of her got clearer. AND, I really am better off now without her.<p> We tried our best and can have a clear conscious. I can not say the same of our SO's. Valerie has called me almost every day for the past two weeks. She really must want or need something, Geez, too bad I'm not home to answer.<p> You will come out of this and yes, I know, I hate the time will heal all wounds gig, but, it is true. I'm going great now and she is not.<p> Best wishes to you my friend,<p>Tim

JD,<p>Gosh I am honered to get a mention and not even be present. I've been with you for a while following up on what's been going on in you life and I feel for you and I respect you for your strength. I don't think I could be as strong as you. As much as you have gone through I would never lose an ounce of respect for you if you decided to quit, you put up a fight that I don't think I could and I am sure many others couldn't, and even though you may end up losing, you gave a lot more than most would. Just know that you can hold your head high and look back and know that you did your best and it was she who made the decision to continue that lifestyle, not you. At some point you need to save yourself from that abusive relationship.<p>I agree with what you said about not forgeting what we have gone through together in all of this. When you and I first started talking you were there for me when I was at my lowest, I didn't see a hole at the end of the tunnel and you helped me find my way, and I won't ever forget that, and I can only hope to return the favor. I'll be here for ya whatever you decide to do. We will continue to pray for you and your family. E

Elad,<p> Thank you. This is of course something I have fought against with everything I have. And while I feel like it is the last resort, there is a crack left for her to slip through. <p> Sorry you are dealing with the same non actions I have been.<p>
SinkingFast,<p> No, there has never been any physical abuse from either one of us in the past. At my lowest point I did hit a door or two. But we have never hit one another. <p> I admit to doing some LBing that day. I would not let her clam up like she usually does. I needed answers. I did not get them. But I really upset her. I know I should have just walked away when she would not talk. <p> Nah, I better not let you come choke her [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
Husband2you,<p> Even the biggest and toughest need a hug now and then. And I am neither, so thanks man.<p>
lyndy666,<p> Hey, don't under estimate the power of kind words. And don't under estimate yourself. You have much to offer. Thank you.<p>
MEDIC238,<p> I appreciate the reply. See I knew I was going to leave some people out up above. <p> I can only hope to get to the point you have. At present I don't know how that will happen. I know, time. <p> So since I am so low right now, how about a freebie on your story? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p> Thanks for the reply Tim.<p> jd

SEM,<p> Yes we have been through it haven't we. You will never know how happy I am for you and Keep Smiling. There were many times I thought you would give up, Or KS would decide the two of you had been through enough pain and end it herself. But you both endured. And even though there may be bumbs in the road in the future, you two can overcome anything. <p> In the end it may not matter how strong I was or how much I gave. When all is said and done E, I will have taken the easy road out. <p> You and KS, now that is strength. I hope when the pain of remembering is less you guys can come here from time to time and show that stamina to others. Many here do not believe recovery can happen. We know better.<p> I know you guys will alway be just a shout away. I will likely seek you out in the dark times ahead.<p> Would also like to say a special thank you to a real princess of a lady. FAITH1, along with SEM and Keep Smiling, without you I would never have made it as far as I have. I will serve notice that I will be hunting you up more in the near future. Don't get too burned out on everyone else, K? God is smiling on you. <p> jd

Hey jd,
Just wanted to offer my empathy for you, for your kids, for your wife, everybody. Divorce is like a death. Personally, I have not experienced a divorce, but my mom divorced 3 times when we kids were growing up. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] So I do know what it feels like from my 12 and 18-year old perspective. I was a baby the first time so (?) <p>It's awful, but you will all survive. I don't know how you can be expected to stay married to someone who obviously doesn't WANT to be married to you? That ain't a marriage, it's not even a friendship?!<p>Just a question and I apologize if I have overlooked anything... But how come she didn't file? Did you ever figure out what the 4-month deal was all about now that it has come to this??? <p>Nevertheless, it's a tough decision for you... Hang in there.

JD - I know that one day your WW is going to wake up and realize how special you really are. I just hope that it is not too late for the marriage at that time. But if it is, know this, some woman out there is going to know and your WW will realize it when she gets a thank you note from that new woman thanking her for not realizing it sooner.<p>Hang in there. You are going to be OK.
Hugs to you
Sinking

Know this JD,<p>I am just a e-mail, a phone call or a Harley ride away! I'm here for you my borther, as is so many more here!<p>
Thinking about you today!<p>
RN

Jdmac, I am SORRY! I absolutely understand your decision. We all have a breaking point and you can only do so much. If she isn't willing to work through this, you can't do the work for the both of you.<p>I want you to know I am thinking of you and I am sorry for your pain.<p>Hang in there. It will get better.<p>Love,
Clear

BIN,<p> Darn I knew I would forget others. Thank you for all the time you have given me as well. I won't forget. And will likely need it more [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p> No I never found a reason for the 4 month thing. I suppose it makes no difference anyway. <p> The divorce was not her idea. She had been making plans for us to go out of state this weekend, to my moms, for spring break. I thought this as stranege as she had told me many times she did not want to see my family. Well it seems she was making these plans as a way to commit me and the kids to leaving while she stayed here. <p> While she will not admit to it I think it is pretty clear why she wants us out of town. <p> When I found out about the OM from school, I told her I want a divorce. That simple. She said I should just go ahead and take the children and spend the week away. Not divorce. I feel like I cannot allow that to happen. If she wants a week of freedom to screw around she will get it. But not the way she spent weeks planning.<p> SinkingFast,<p> Thanks for your kind thoughts.<p> Roughneck,<p> Thanks man. I may take you up on the offer. But I would not be able to ride a Harley [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Wish I had one tho. Guess email or phone will have to do.<p> Clearview,<p> I appreciate it Clear. Hope it gets better soon.<p> jd

jd,<p>how are you now?<p>I know when STBX finallymade his choice. I was glad it was over, if he had not done I was going to do so if certain things did not happen.<p>I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted. Now there have been some down times, especailly the 1st of things, like YS bday this wk but for the most part things to get better day by day.<p>now my divorce has drug on for months, I would guess the next few are going to be tough. we have some things to fight about, I know this is why I haven't pushed the D & I have a feeling it is why he hasn't either. The OW is pushing him to finish it (which he doesn't know I know) and I am trying to get the courage to fight.<p>good luck & peace to you. <p>btw I LOVED your horses.

JD,<p>Sorry to hear of how it is going but you sound stronger. You obviously have a lot of support here and that is good. <p>You can see through the WS' plans just like you can see when they 'babble'. Keep strong JD, you and the kids are going to need it. <p>Keep in touch, K?<p>Hugz,
L.