HI, I am trying hard to meet my h's attractiveness EN... since I still need to lose approx... 25 pounds to be beautifull... again... so here I am... I do not really want to post to the world my weight... but I will post weight drops... and exercise routines I do, etc... and spa treatments... and nail treatments etc.. that I do... to be more beutiful... I know this area is one where I let myself go... so I am working it quite hard... and I wanted to find other mbers who will go this road with me to be the most beautiful they can be... <p>write on if you are working on these issues.... of making you better... even guys are welcome... we know you want to be hunks and handsome gq guys... anyway.... let';s all be more desirable together... OK!<p>So far today I have stuck to my diet... btw if anyone needs an ex cellent plan I have one... from quick weight loss... I just have issues sticking to it... so I am trying harder today and with this public announcement... I do go to a diet counselor and that helps... too, but I do not alwyas make my visits... i am going to try to exercise 3 times a week at least... for my mental stamina I need more alanon and I am starting out today going to an alanon meeting during the day... what else... recently got haircut and hightlights... although h and my mom say my hightlight... very light make me look a little gray... isn't that sweet... it is just whitish blond highlights... I remember saying same thing to mom when she got hers frosted when she was younger.. she has blondish hightlishts ... now... mine were supposed to be.. but did get a bit whitish... blondish ok? still attractive... <p>anyway, any tips, etc...are welcome... this is important and will make me more beaut. anywya... even for the other new men ... should my decide to walk the walk he is talking... <p>hugs... honey

Honey,<p>This is a great step for you! Keep it up. You feel like a new person when you take care of yourself. I've been making some changes too. We occasionally have threads on this subject on the EN's board. Keep a watch over there too.<p>I have been exercising about 5 days/week. This is week two and I'm starting to see a difference. My weight hasn't changed much, but I'm feeling my workouts. I feel tighter. <p>And get this...I have measured my height since after the baby was born. I had actually shrunk. I am normally 5'4.5", but measured 5'3". Yesterday, I wondered how much taller I was laying down. I put my stockinged feet flat against the wall and took a washable marker and marked it on my linoleum floor (I was alone with the baby). Then, I measured it. 5'7". I lose almost 4" when I stand up. Well, then I thought that couldn't be right. So, I measured myself against the wall. Almost 5'5". <p>I've never been 5-5. I was 19 when I got preg with my 1st child. Maybe I hadn't finished growing. <p>I also have bad posture that makes me look bigger when I sit down, and difficult to be tall when I stand up. But I've been doing an intensive ab and back workout that I think is starting to help, plus, I'm not having to hold the baby as much.<p>Keep up the good work. May God bless your efforts.

Honey,
That's great that you found a good diet plan! I was also overweight when my first H left me in 1999. I went on the Atkins diet and immediately lost 40 pounds. I have been a size 8-10 ever since and have experienced excellent health. <p> I had been on a low fat diet for the preceding 4 months [prescribed by my doctor's nutritionist] and lost 2 pounds on the most hellacious, deprivation diet I have ever been on. The diet wrecked my health. It exasperated my borderline low blood sugar and turned it into severe low blood sugar that left me with a throbbing headache every day. I could never ever stay on such a low calorie/low fat diet and studies show that people can't stay on deprivation diets for long. [most studies even show a net gain from those diets!]<p>Anyhoo, my new diet [been on the maintenence level for 3 years now] immediately corrected my low blood sugar and took the weight off very fast. It also gave me more energy than I have had since I was in my 20's. Its amazing what a diet without junk food can do. <p>I also started working out and that really helped tone and tighten things up. I also worked off alot of steam at my husband! I work out at home to video tapes so I don't have to leave and go to a gym. I still go to a gym occasionally to do weight lifting and get my bodyfat % checked. <p>Do you like to get facials? I love them and am going to get one next week when my girlfriend visits from Michigan.

Honey,<p>Aren't you an MK consultant? I am/was mostly for personal use. <p>MelodyLane, I like facials too, they feel so-o-o good.<p>What is the diet you're on now? I need some o'dat energy! I don't subscribe to Atkins a whole lot. I believe that fat is in a too convenient storage package. But, I believe that too strict limitations on fat intake can do harm, and makes one hungry. And, that we should cut out alot of refined foods, like breads with no fiber (even wheat), sugar and the like.<p>That being said. Since I have started exercising, I have tried to reduce my diet some (don't have a calorie count) and find myself imagining I am famished. I can't seem to forget about food in the evening. I am afraid that's why I haven't lost anything yet. (As far as medical goes, my thyroid's good and everything looks healthy.)<p>Here's my diet thus far:<p>AM...bowl of whole wheat cereal, with milk and fruit (berries or bananas).<p>AFTNN...something. Want to do 1oz turkey or other lunch-type meat on 1 sl. whole wheat (3g fiber) with a little light mayo. And/or soup. <p>Snack...? Fruit and milk?<p>Supper...use exchange program 2 carbs, 2 meat, 2 veggies.<p>Snack...cereal with fruit, or yogurt with fruit.<p>Okay, now let's see if I can do it. It's getting awfully close to grocery shopping day.

Honey, For heavens sake don't diet!!!! I lost 70 lbs by just tweaking how I ate. I lost it in 7-8 mo. too. When you diet, I don't care what kind...if you are changing the calorie intake of your food too much or with the wrong stuff (I ate cake, icecream, etc...but there is a trick)you tell your body to store that stuff cuz it doesn't know when or how much it will get next time you eat.
Please e-mail me and I will figure out the best way to share this with you. Please!!! You won't regret it...I have kept it off for 4.5 years now
without diet and hard excersize. GurlzHappy@msn.com

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by hoping4future:
<strong><p>I believe that fat is in a too convenient storage package. But, I believe that too strict limitations on fat intake can do harm, and makes one hungry. And, that we should cut out alot of refined foods, like breads with no fiber (even wheat), sugar and the like.<p>.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hoping,<p>I am on the Atkins maintenence diet. But you hit on exactly why Atkins works, it has a sufficient amount of fat [good fats, that is, no trans fats] to keep you satisfied and keep your metabolism high. It cuts out the crap food like refined sugar and flour, which eliminates food cravings and out of control night eating. Those bad carbs cause the blood sugar to spike and when it crashes, you just want MORE junk carbs. <p>But if you cut your calories back more than 250 a day or cut your fat intake, then your metabolism just slows down even more because the body thinks its being starved and goes into deprivation mode. It then more diligently protects your stored body fat so you lose nothing. The next step is to start burning off things that require more calories, such as muscle. Then when you go to your old way of eating, you put more weight on than you had before because your metabolism is slower than it was before!<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</p>

Hi, I just got backfrom my alanon meeting... wow! What revelation... I realized how self righteous I am as others talked about their faults of self reighteousness... and yes... I a m the fixer with my alcoholic... I know how to imporve his life... but I forget me.... boy, I am tired of telling him how to live... ok, back to focus on me...<p>faithnhope... I will email you later... but the diet I am on, includes more food than I normally eat... just healthy food, and it does not have prescribed food s per day.... it has the food groups... andhealthy portions and prep methods... I have been overweight since I hurt my back and got lazy... also the bad thing about my back...is that I will only get better by exercising... special ex. for back and abs... will make my back stronger... and also by eating better... I feel at al ow point due to my body... and I am not doing this just for h... althought that is one reason he is unhappy with me... I let me go...<p>I would not feel good enough about me to be with anyone right now... in fact that is a low point in our marriage.. when I feel too unsexy to even have sex - embarrassed by my fat.... even to me... <p>Well, will email you..<p>Yes, I am mk consultant... if anyone needs mk just email me... I do my own facials... but love to go to spas... and for my future success in Mk... growing to director... I need to look beautfiul... also as the kind of person I am.... I just feel low when I do not look good... here's my website.. hope this is not offenseive to anyone... www.marykay.com/lisabarfield 15% off for all mb'ers... ok! just mention that ... <p>anyway, what else... I just know I will feel better.... when I get to looking good again... I have a closet full of gorgeous clothers I can't even fit in... I let my obsession with my h control me... I am truly obsessed by trying to fix him... I need to fix me... still doing perfecto on my diet today.. and for lunch I am staying on the plan.<p>Hugs to all of you, Lisa

I have seen Honey and she is beautiful. I think you are listening to your verbally abusive H by thinking you need to lose weight. You do NOT look overweight!!!!<p>Honey, I'm glad you said you are not doing this for your H. Because my hunch is even if your a size 2 (which is what you'll be if you lose 30 pounds!) he will still call you fat. Remember, it is his issues, not yours. <p>Eating right, excercising, alinon and taking care of you is a good thing!!!! You continue to sound good. I just needed to set the record straight and let people know you are beautiful just the way you are!

Well, I'm a text-book case for contracting diabetes in a few years. I was gestational diabetic with all three pregnancies, and let me tell you - food and weight are my biggest struggles right now.<p>I definitely can't take carbs, but I failed miserably on Atkins. I've got little kids, and I gotta cook for everyone. Carbs just keep creeping into my diet - and every single lb lost was a huge struggle. Not only that, but food for me is a huge emotional thing.<p>I lost 60lbs during my H's A (more due to my gestastional diabetes rather than anything else), but I've put 25 of those back.<p>I need to lose 50-60 lbs right now. So last week, with the help of my Al-Anon sponsor, I started the Carbohydrate Addicts diet.<p>I lost 4.5 lbs this last week, didn't have trouble staying on the diet, and I ate sooooo well!<p>Heck, Saturday morning for breakfast, I was feasting on bagels and mimosa along with my eggs and sausage...I've had awesome desserts every night.<p>I just love this diet! It's so great not to see food and think I can never eat again - instead I think, hmmm, I just have to wait for tonight and I can have that if I want!

I am definitely needing to do some searching on the web tonight! hehehe. Some of these 'diets' sound great!<p>I did AWESOME after H's A. My 'infidelity diet' took off up to 70 lbs (but there were twins in that equation [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] ). I'm sorry to say, that since H and I have been in our recovery, ALL of the weight has come back. It's not just mine, but H's too. We are NOT happy people right now. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>H has been looking into weight watchers material online, and has found some of their 'points' information (or someone else's version of it). We've talked about getting into that system, but so much of it seems like such a change in our eating lifestyle. One thing is for certain, I've learned to avoid hot dogs!!! LOL<p>Our big problem is getting into the exercise routine. We are really looking forward to the warmer weather coming, so that we can get outside with the boys more.<p>Thanks Honey, for starting this thread. It's good to know there are many of us on here who need support in other areas other than just our M's! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>H asked me to add that if anyone on here is interested in the points info (for either a palm pilot or standard text that you can print out from your pc), just email me at 4topie25@rogers.com and we'll send it to you.<p>Karen

Bramblerose, I've been looking at the Carbohydrates Addicts website and I'm wondering how many of the books are essential and which ones. I am most definitely a carbo addict and I've done well on both Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers, it's just really difficult to maintain. Jenny Craig food is horrible and I got tired of counting points all day every day. But I'd like to try something different, although I know that if I were to exercise diligently half my problem would be solved. TIA [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm using "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" - subtitled: The Lifelong Solution to Yo-Yo Dieting<p>That's all you need.<p>It's super easy. You can't eat btwn meals. You eat 2 low carb meals a day and then for exactly one hour you get the "Reward" meal which includes absolutely ANYTHING you want to eat as long as it balances protein, carbs and veggies. There's no counting calories or measuring or anything annoying like that.<p>So last week, every morning I zipped thru McDs drive thru for a side of eggs and a side of sausage. I put cream (not milk!) in my coffee.<p>I had a huge chef salad for lunch (hardboiled eggs, cheese, ham, bacon, and ranch dressing). Then for dinner, I'd eat a salad, along with a balanced meal, and then have whatever I wanted for desert - which was brownies, or tiramsu, chocolate cake, pudding etc.<p>And on day 7 of my diet, I hopped on the scales - I was down 4.5 lbs. I'm totally in heaven! I don't have to deprive myself, and I don't have to track calories and all that stuff. If I want to go out to eat or do something out of the ordinary, its fine, I just switch the reward meal to that time and keep it to one hour. I can go out to eat without guilt!

BR, I am so glad that this diet is working so well for you. I started last week again. I have lost 85 pounds so far and I still have a few more to lose. I am working out and eating better. <p>I found that while I was spending time with WH I did not stick to my diet and exercise. I did so well when I stayed away from him. I think I was so busy trying to meet his needs and taking care of what he needed that I forgot about me and what I needed. Well, not now. I will be in that bikini by July 4th. Then step back and watch the fireworks. <p>This post was a great idea!!! I feel better now even after a really trying day at work. <p>Hugs to all
Sinking

Thanks BR, I'll have to go to the bookstore and have a look at it. No between meals snacking eh? hmmm, that would be the really tough part. I'm also a grazer. I'm just really worried that when I'm home for the next two months after my surgery that I'm going to get even worse and I have to do something now to forestall that. Thanks again!

Hi everyone, I think this post is a great idea. I've read lots of good tips so far. I also lost about 25 lbs. after d-day due to deppresion. Have gained back 15. Blah! I was a bit too skinny at the time I got to my lowest, but swore I would keep it off. Well, I didn't. I have started to exercise several times a week and lift weights. I read somewhere that starvation diets like the infidelity diet decrease your metabolic rate, as well as increas muscle loss. Thats why gaining it back is so much easier. How do you get your metabolic rate to increase again? Melody Lane, you sounded pretyy knowledgable about metabolism in your post, can you help? Is it by exercise? I'd love to know so I can do it right away! <p>When I diet, all I think about is food which makes me crazy. Also, when I am anxious (which is most of the time now), I eat to make myself feel better. It works, but then I feel worse for having eaten what I did! So its a no-win situation. I am going to look up the Carbo Addicts diet, that may be something I can stick to. Thanks for all the great ideas! C

Firefly,<p>You can increase your metabolism by cutting out junk carbs and increasing the amount of fat [not transfats!], protein and good carbs you eat. When you cut your refined carbs [sweets, bread, pasta, high starch veggies and fruits] OUT, your body runs out of glucose [created by carbs] and more quickly gets into your stored body fat. When your body is using your stored body fat for fuel, your metabolism goes way up and you start losing weight. <p>Some of the diets that achieve this are Carbohydrate Addicts, the Zone, Atkins, Suzanne Somers [she has a very impressive little diet that is founded on some good science!]<p>I have found that exercise contributed very little to my weight loss. In fact, I worked out every day for 4 months on a SEVERELY low fat/low calorie diet and lost only 2 pounds. All muscle, I have no doubt because I wasn't eating enough fat or protein to sustain my muscles. When I switched to Atkins, I lost 40 pounds doing the same amount of exercise. I still work out 5X a week and also do weight training. <p>If you want some more information about it, let me know and I will send you some studies I have on the effectiveness of these diets.

I urge you to get the book "The Solution". More than a weight loss plan, it teaches you how to become a whole person, mature, and someone who really cares for herself. <p>Because you're worth it!<p>JP

Honey- <p>I struggle with this need also. I have a thread over on EN board. Slapnuts and ilmf had some very interesting male perspectives.<p>I did the quick weight loss thing a couple of years ago. It's definitley a good program and teaches you how to eat right. I didn't do any of the pills. The hot choc. protein drink at night was very good. It helped me not to get the munchies. You have to make all of your appts. I hated to go to the weigh ins because it was brutal having her weigh me, talk about my eating etc... she was relentless. I hated it and appreciated it at the same time. Maybe you could go on your workout day, first thing in the morning.
AlAnon is a good place to go. Very helpful. Do you have the little blue book(Daily Meditations)? If not, get one. I always found very helpful things in it.
I think the things that you are doing for yourself are great and you will notice a more peaceful feeling soon.

one more thing - At QWL they tell you not to weight train while you are on the diet. I thinks thats a load of garbage. Muscle burns more calories than fat. The more lean muscle you have, the more calories you burn doing nothing and everything. They just want to see your numbers go down. As you know, muscle weighs more than fat. So you may see a slower number decrease but notice a bigger body change(your measurements). [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Cleopatra is right! Weight training doesn't hinder weight loss but helps it by building muscle that will burn more calories in the long run!