Well my wife (WS)came home from counseling on Saturday and told me she did want to work on the marriage. Keep in mind this is just about six months later from when the roller coaster ride started. My wife did say she can't give me any guarantee's on the marriage but she did say she would go into working on it with the right attitude. I know things are not going to be back to how they were so I guess I will have to get good and reading my wife's feelings. Also I know I will have to do a good job at meetings her EN's.
Does anyone have any advice on how to take things slowly but not too slow or too fast? I don't want her to think that everything is still awful and nothing has gotten better but I don't want to be all over her. Also she is still sleeping in the spare bedroom I am not sure if I should invite her back to the bedroom or not.
Also since her parents live so close to us my wife would like to sell our townhouse. There was a big falling out between her and her parents. I am the only one that is still here for her through all of this. I do think it is best that we do move from our place and move some where else. If my wife is going to be who she has been to me for the past eight plus years well it doesn't matter to me where we go. However since the current state of our relationship I am not sure what is out there for the future. My wife really wants to live downtown Chicago. I don't have a problem with this however I am a little scared if things don't work out then I might be somewhere I don't want to be. We would rent a place so if things don't work out then it is much easier then owning a place. I do know that living downtown is something my wife wants to do real bad (EN big time). The couselor told her I should be the one to pick where we live since she has put me through a lot and incase things don't work out it might be easier on me. So I have the pressure do I make my wife happy and we look for a place in the city? If we live out in the burbs and my wife is working on it since she might not want to be in the burbs I am not sure how much she might work on the marriage. This is the whole is my wife happy thing. I guess I have a feeling that if my wife is happy where she lives that she might even put more effort into the relationship.
So what do I do? Move to the city with her and we both pick a place there? Or do I pick a place out in the burbs? I need some advice on this one. I am 50/50 right now.

no kids, go for city, I would love to live in city with no kids... you might too! good luck!

First things first. Be optimistic. If she is coming back, and that is what "you are chosing", why be reluctant? You have to be 100% positive that you are "chosing to be married" and that you will do everything in "your" power to make it a life worth living. It may not be easy everyday and you are going to have your ups and downs, but today, you must believe/feel that you are there forever and you are not going anywhere. <p>Lose Plan B and live for today. Today. Let her be herself. You can be patient by not expecting things from her. And she could be the same with you. <p>If things don't work out down the road, you will know that you did everything you could to make a beautiful life together, but stop protecting yourself from your fears. If you want to live behind them with her, I think it would be better for you to live on your own behind them. <p>My girlfriend told me this. I said to her, " I don't know if I could handle putting my neck on the line one more time, but I want to. " She asked me to remember back to Sept. 11, and all the families that wake up every morning missing a loved one. She said, "They have been through what I would consider the worst experience in the world.. and they still wake up every morning.... they will make it... they will get on with their lives." It's true. <p>So put your chin up and make your life what you want. The start line is right in front of you. When will you take the first step?