It appears that this website is geared toward BS's, which is cool because I have gotten to know up close and personal what you go through as a BS, I am in search of a website for WS's who want to try to save their M after doing such a disgusting, humiliating, shameful thing such as Adultery, I admit that I just did not get what the Lord expects when M vows are taken, I love my W, so much yet I did what I did to her, and the aftermath is something that I could not have imagined in my wildest dream. I am in counseling and the counselor even suggested today an antidepressent for my depression. She mentioned Zoloft and if anyone out there is familier with that drug let me know. I hurt so much for the pain that I have caused my family and my W will not speak to me and it is driving me crazy. I am not ready to file for D, but everything looks as if she will be doing it any day now, please if you know of any websites that cater to WS/s let me and others like me know.

WSs tend not to stay on MB as long as BSs, but there are some here who have the same goals as you. And, I think you'll find a lot of understanding from the BSs if you want to stay and work out your issues here. Many WS have.<p>Afterall, each BS knows a WS pretty well and hopefully has the same goal of making reconciliation & recovery possible in their own marriages.<p>I'm both BS & WS, a situation nobody wants. But my marriage is nearing 2 years of recovery.<p>I was on Paxil then Zoloft for a total of 6 months, before reconcilation. I thought it really help deal with my anxiety and even out my emotions. I'd take it again if I felt the need for it.

Well, I personally think this site is good for both WS and BS (I am a WW). I have gained a lot of insight from the side of BSs, and have been told I have offered a lot to both BSs and WSs. I got my beginning support at a different board (which has since pretty much died), but still find myself in need of help and have found it here many times. I think that you can gain a lot of help from both here to work toward what you are trying. <p>In your salutation you note - "W asked for plan A letter" - Did you do one? How has that been working? Is your wife still talking divorce? Have you been working on her needs? Have you talked to her about the affair?<p>I have learned through my rebuilding that many times the BS really needs questions answered. And yes, even those very painful ones to have to admit to. Remember though, you may feel low and vile for what you have done (Lord knows I did, and still do at times), but your BS will respect that you care enough to help her even though it pains you. Also, if you are anything like me, much of your pain comes from seeing/feeling her pain. TELL HER THIS!!!!<p>I suppose that's all I have for your right now, but feel free to ask if you think I can help more. I hope this helps some, and I wish you the best. Take care.

Stock around, NA, you'll find lots of support, advice, and many others like you, and unlike you.
I'll tell you what, just wanting to be here and get help is half the battle!
Hang in there!

There are WS's hanging around here if you'd like to ask questions of us.<p>I take Effexor, and it has helped me tons. I now find myself more geared towards doing things that are productive and center around my family and work.<p>[ April 17, 2002: Message edited by: findingmywayback ]</p>

good answers here.... not much to add... <p>just direct a question for them in your subject anytime - they'll respond to you if they can.<p>THis web-site is for anyone willing to improve their marriage. WS's probably need a little thick skin to absorb some of the anger and pain by the BS's here. <p>But stick around and you can learn and get support. We won't be easy on you here if you want to continue your affair, or sit back and do nothing to try to repair the damages. But you wouldn't be here searching, if you didn't want honest help, right? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>P.S. I took zoloft for about 7 months. I didn't have any side effects. It really helped even out the emotions and anxiety. 50 mg per day.<p>[ April 17, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

WE WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU STAYED, WE NEED EVERYONES OPINION.<p>IM ON ZOLOFT-50 MG. I HAVE HAD NO MAJOR SIDE EFFECT. A LITTLE NITE SWEATING, BUT THAT COULD BE FROM SOMETHING ELSE. I LIKE IT.

Consensus says stay, I appreciate all the feedback. I want my M and I and am going to be a little more patient, I have stopped all contact with W. I miss her so much and feel her pain even though her pain is more than mine. Until the papers are filed I am going to work the plan. She ignored my plan a letter as well as my apology which was in the form of an email seeing as she wont talk to me at all outside of email. I see her twice a week at church and the rage that I see her eyes tells me that is over and the fact that she would not let her daughter, my stepdaughter go to dinner with me lets me know that it is over. She wont even let me answer questions that she has, just cold turkey she said f**k you I wanted an out and this is what I needed to get out of this M. But to date no papers have been filed unless you want to include the home kit papers that she is trying to get me to sign. I still love her and am waiting!

Needing Advice<p>I, too, am a WS and I have found great comfort, advice, perspective, and support here. I would advise staying around and reading lots. I amazing what you can learn from other WS and BS. New perspectives and things to think about. <p>Couple of questions....does your W know about this site? Does she read and post?<p>My H and I both come here to read and post. It has been a lot of help for us, both as individuals and as a couple. <p>Regretting

In that your W asked for a Plan A letter, should we conclude that she is familiar with MB and this site?<p>If not, perhaps you should send her an e-mail with the web address of this forum?<p>Looking at your history in your sig line suggests that she should understand both sides of the issue. But, if she was already looking for an "out", you may be looking at a hard core role reversal in which the BS is in the fog - not accepting that the marriage may have a chance to be repaired.

I am both a WS and BS...though I really don't think of myself as a BS as much as a WS...because I cannot control my h's actions but I must take complete responsibility for my own.<p>There is help and valuable advice here from both bs and ws. I think you will be glad you came and stayed.

When I told W about this website, she went to the site, but her response to me was that I was trying to meet married christian women, and missed the whole point of the fact that people here are trying to save their M, not meet and stay in the same things that got them here, she just is not getting it, and she may in fact be as a member has suggested that she is still in the fog that the M does not have a chance to work. To date no papers have been filed and there has been no communication this week. I miss her so much and hope that she has truly found peace and joy and is lacking for nothing as she has told me on several different occasions. I still love her and am trying to give her space.

This site does tend to be a bit biased towards the BS...but it can be a good place for WS, as well.<p>I've searched, also, but I haven't really found any sites geared specifically towards WS's who are attempting to recover their marriage. This is the best resource I've fiound, hostile towards WS as it can sometimes be (whether they see it or not).<p>I'm a WS...if you want to talk about things, I can be available to do so. Just let me know...