The GOOD in our lives. Tell me what youv'e got

GUYS,I'm a little more than sad with the majority of the recent posts lately. They all seem so negative. Yes, I understand none of us are here by choice and most of us would give up a body part to be named at a later date not to be here. I will TRY to uplift some spirits here by challenging you to tell us the GOOD THINGS that are going on in your life. We may not see it right now because of our problems. But there is good.OK, I'll start and somebody better follow up or I will feel like a total putz. Boy that would be a first for me. LOLHi, My name is Tim. I'm 39 years old and live in eastern PA. I own a very successful ambulance service [gee as if the "handle" didn't give that one away]. This is my second marriage. Unfortunately it is not going very well right now because I put so much time in the company, but, I have tried my very best to search out the problems and fix them. I feel that if it does fail, I, will be able to look back and not regret my participation in the reconsiliation attempt. I have found my self respect again. Damn, I forgot where I put it before. I have two great boys from my first marriage that I would not trade in for the world because they have very high mileage and I would probably not get a very good trade in value for them. Just kidding. I could get a few grand for them.My oldest boy is in college and studying to become a nurse. He is in the Honors Classes, very intelligent, not like me at all. No smart comments, he IS intrested in girls. The younger one wants to become involved in dad's business and may become an Emergency Medical Technician soon when he becomes old enough. He sees that I don't do much. You guys know that since I'm almost always here. I usually just sit in the "big chair".I have a VERY good relationship with my first XW. I know this is strange, but so am I. We get along better now than ever. We help each other out as much as possible. Just this weekend I put a serpentine belt on her car. Boy that sucked worse than life it self. But I was helping her. It felt good. I asked for nothing in return other than friendship.My Mother recently had a major heart attack and I was there for her. It was touch and go for a long time. I spent 9 days straight in the hospital with her. Boy that scared the [censored] out of me. Coronary artery bypass surgery X3 fixed everything. We are now closer than ever.My employees know what is going on in my life [ they all know Val from before ] and give me nothing but positive feedback if I deserve it or not. We are all like family. Upon discovery they helped me out tremendously. I am returning the favor. It's a big family.I am looking forward to retiring in the next 5 years and living in Virginia Beach with someone who wants to be there with me. Hopefully it will be a blonde. [Vals a blonde] Right now I don't know if it will be my W or someone new. I HAVE learned so much from this site and all of you. I truly believe that I have a bright future and feel so much better about myself today and all of you are to commended. Thanks for bringing me out of the toilet of life.I challenge all of you to stop and think what IS going good in your life right now. KIDS, FAMILY, FRIENDS, COWORKERS. Please let us all know. You all are my family in my mind.Wishing us the Best.Medic

Hi Medic238 -The love of my life right now is my adoring cat Dusty (aka Dust Buster). He sleeps with me every night. Sleeping alone sucks.You're right in that I think of all of you as family too. I don't think you're a putz.

Medic, Good things.......HmmmmmmWell, the past 8 yrs of my life with my W. I wouldn't trade them in for anything.I wake up in the morning.....I have a great job and make good money....I have great friends.....Otherwise, Life sucks sometimes but we will all be in a better place eventually.------------------ Rutger......One day at a time.

Great topic. Thanks Medic.My H and I are working hard on our marriage, feeling a lot of love and forgiveness, and we have great communication. We're having fun together.We're going to try to buy a house. Woo Hoo!My family loves me.My cats love me.I'm smart, talented, and compassionate, and so is my husband.I have a great job that I'm good at, I enjoy, and it pays well.

COME ON YOU GUYS!Sidney,I KNOW there is more in your life than Dusty. I'm sure he's a great pet. Cats are nice, kind of odd, but, nice. Do you want two more? I would be more than happy to send you mine! You got that right that sleeping alone [both physically and mentally] bites the big one. We used to sleep like spoons. Not you and me, me and Val. I never thought that much about it in the past. I do now.Rutger,Come on man,I am fully aware that this sucks worse than life itself. Believe me, I know. You are scaring me with the better place eventually thing. I wish you guys would stop that. The 8 years with W is a good thing. Hells bells make it another 8. And then another 8 and you get the idea.Hi Marlo,THANK YOU! This is what I'm looking for. Congrats on trying to find a house. I'm so glad to hear all those GREAT things. What's this with the dang cats?Come on gang. Look deep inside. What are you truely thankful for?Wishing us all the Best.Medic

hi medic, right about now I feel that I am very blessed and very lucky to have come out of this with an intact mind. Yeah, some will wonder....is her mind truly intact? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

And somehow I seem to have retained my sick sense of humor!

I have so much good, it just seems I let the bad in to much lately.I have 3 wonderful girls, 8/6/4. They got their report cards today all A's Got a true heartfelt apology from H today. Everyone in my family is healthy and we are planning our Thanksgiving reunion. My h is getting ready to start his own business, a dream of his since he was a boy. I have been out of work for 4 weeks .. H finally said I could stay home w/girls if wanted to. My 6 yr old got chosen for Honor Choir. My dog , Sarah. Since I've been home and had to budget better, I got control of our debt and paid of 2 credit cards! YEAH! My house is clean, there is food in the fridge and it's quiet right now, cold outside, but warm in here. I really feel good tonight. I actually have a smile and no chest pains from stress! Lost 2 pants sizes ... need to go Shopping now! Thank you Medic, the good abounds we just need to see it. M------------------ Mater

Sorry, Medic238, Dusty's an only child and he wants to keep it that way. Okay, since this crisis hit, I have developed a wonderful friendship with a lady at work (my guardian angel) who has taken me under her wing. I also have a very supportive (even though they are dysfunctional) family whom I am visiting for 5 days starting next Sunday. And my sisters are taking me rollerblading, for the first time (Say a prayer for me.)

Hi Medic Tim!! Gee, it's nice to hear from you. You know, I look forward to your threads. Even when you are in the pits, you always make me laugh. You forgot to add that one to your list. Ok, here goes. I have a BEAUTIFUL daughter that I love more and more each day I breath. I have a WONDERFUL family. I have a GREAT job. I have a GORGEOUS house. I have 2 dogs that lick my face every day, just because I remember to feed them!! I have learned that there are MORE important things in life than saving a sinking marriage- my sanity for one. I do not have a lot of money, but I am wealthier than most people I know. I have been blessed beyond belief during this awful ordeal. It just took me a little bit of time to open my eyes to see it.BTW- maybe God is trying to tell you to let Val go and get back w/ the mother of your children. Ever think about that one??? (I don't know if she's a blonde or not, but Loreal can fix that right up-LOL)Hang in there, my friend. You've got no where to go but up.Cheryl

Medic: Like your story. Your family sounds great! I am happy that I have two wonderful kids 8 and 10 years old. I can honestly say that I am healthy and thank God, don't need your ambulance service!!! I have a great job. My mom and dad are spry and in good health. Even my wife hasn't been too bad in the past couple of weeks. My car hasn't had any problems in a long time and is almost paid for. I have a nice apartment that I'm furnishing to my own taste. I am enjoying being on my own right now. Looking forward to making a clean break after 18 months of..well, this is supposed to be positive, so never mind. I'm 37 years old, this is my first marriage, and I am finally being able to see clearly that it is over. I am looking forward to being by myself for a while, working on my self-esteem, and getting rid of some baggage before I seek that lovely woman who is just waiting for a nice guy like me. How's that for positive?

I have so much to be thankful for...My three kids... Robbie... stepson who I raised from the age of 4 and am so proud of now... Stephen... will be taking his blackbelt test this coming Friday.... Erika... my ballerina princess!My family... They love me beyond belief... They support me spiritually, and financiallyMy W's family They love me too... They help wherever they can...My Church community.... They pray and pray and pray for me...My work place... (although a downsize is emminant) it has been a great place to be.My God, His Son, and the Spirit that has filled me with more strength I ever knew I had.All you here who keep me honest with myself!Thanks, [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Jim

hi ceecee, have been wanting to mention that I appreciate your parents for spelling your name correctly! Never sure why people use the 'S' version? I am not sure how I feel about your nickname....my initials and the nickname I grew up with! Cheers, cl

My kids make me the happiest, I don't know what I would have done with out them plus I made a new friend and am getting closer to another.Sorry to say everything else in my life sucks right now, the Steelers and Pirates stink, the Indians didn't quite make it.The Browns are back, but they suck(yea !!!, I hate the Browns) The company I worked for for 14 yrs got bought out last Dec and I got new boss who has no personality. He was all buddy, buddy and called every week until my production numbers came out and my work has suffered the past 6 months(gee, I wonder why?) My softball team made it to the finals where we choked big time, losing twice to a team we had beaten by 15 runs the week before and they had won a game before the double header.I can't wait till next year!!!!!!!!!!!!

cl,I'm glad they spelled it right too!!! cc are my 'madain initials', w/ an a in the middle, which btw, I'm going to need to get used to using again!! How's this for the worst spelling of our name in history (this letter wah addressed to me) Mrs. SHAREYLLY *****. Now, is THAT how you spell our name- LOLCheryl

CL,Hey it's good to hear from you. I'm glad to hear that things are going so well for you. GIVE ME SOME HINTS! Just remember, sometimes you feel like a nut...sometimes your are!Hiya Mater,OK, My idea for this thread was to look deep inside ourselves with heavy reflection and find all the good that is in our lives. YOU don't have to take it all. YOUR'E SUCKING THE LIFE OUTTA ME. Just kidding. I'm so very glad for your happiness. Now it looks likes dogs are included.SIDNEY,Somebodys gotta want some really nice kitty cats. Do you live close? I'm so very glad you found a guardian angel. Family is so very important. I just found out recently. Once again, dopey me! See, you found another good thing! TOLD YOU!CEE CEE,Hey thanks for the compliment. I know I'm a few fries short of a happy meal. Don't deny it. I appreciate my kids more almost, almost, every day. More dogs, cheese and crackers! Ya know many folks have said about me returning to Toni [First W]. It seems that you and I have finally learned to look after outselves first. Boy this is getting difficult. Val, Toni, Michele, Me.Thanks for all the input.Let's try to keep the GOOD things going. I think NB tried this before. Lets get a little more intimate. I have nothing to hide.Wishing us all the Best.Medic

Hey Medic,This is what it is about dang cats!Cats are my emotional role models! When they want cuddles, they ask for it. When they want to be left alone, they tell you. They eat when they're hungry, stop when they're full, nap when they're tired, and play every day. I want to be more like a cat.Another good thing in my life: I've used my recent depression and my marriage crisis to really take some time and examine myself, in counseling on my own. Trying to figure out why I repeat destructive patterns, and why I think I deserve unhappiness, and how to change that. And I'm also trying to figure out what I really want. And one thing I'm sure of is that I really want to be married to my husband, but I will not stay married to him if he cheats again. I don't deserve to be treated this way. And I feel very grounded and strong in this decision. And I like that feeling.

Okay, Medica, I'll bite...Chomp [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

anyhow... I am 43, and in my second marriage. I have 3 wonderful kids from my first marriage, inherited 2 kids from my second marriage and we have a 7 year old together. He is wonderful. If he didn't have a dysfunctional family - he could grow up and be the president. I take that back, didn't we elect Clinton????Anyhoooo.....I am a woman of many talents. I sew, and I love to decorate. I do beautiful paintings, roses are my favorite, oh, and I like to paint steam engines... I love working with people, and have switched careers now maybe 3 times, and think I have one that I love the most. I work to help resettle refugees, and try to fight racism in Rural MN.I am writing a book about my personal racism, and how I am working to over come it. (I'm odviously going to need a good editor - just check out my spelling... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

)I am involved in my community, and recently organized a non-profit agency to be a multi-cultural resource to rural communities. Many of the refugees I resettle are Bosnian Roma (Gypsies). I give many speeches on refugee settlement, and also speak on Bosnian Gypsy culture. Since moving to MN, I have been on TV a couple of times, and even on PBS. I never dreamed I would be doing this kind of work, I was a construction office manager in So. CA before moving to MN. One day, after church, H and our little guy (then 2) went for a drive and I fell asleep. I woke up and we were at a lake. My husband and our son were outside of the car skipping stones in the water. There were other cars around. I could hear beautiful music. I woke up, and continued to listen to the music. Then I opened the door and the music stopped, instantaneously. I talked with my H and my little boy, and asked which car was playing the music. He said "nobody's playing any music...." and just looked at me like I came from another planet.At that time we had just finished our first separation. (95). I was reading the Bible from the beginning. The next day, after the music experience, I came across this verse:(Living Bible).... Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord himself exulting over you in happy song:..... and give you a good name, a name of distinction among all the peoples of the earth......(Zephaniah 3:16-20)I know the Lord has his hands over my life, and this is a valley that I am in for the moment. He's walking through this valley with me. My faith in God is what is helping me through all of this.I know I will come out of this happier, stronger, wiser, and closer to the Lord.You will too, Medica.

You entered into a covenant with your first wife with God as your witness. You promised your first wife AND God you would love her and be with her forever. Just because you didn't hold up your end of the commitment, doesn't mean God has let you off the hook.Your present marriage troubles aren't surprising. In God's eyes you are still married to your first wife. Look at what good friends you've become. And with Harley concepts and philosophies you can become each others most passionate lovers. What a happy outcome for your family!!!!There are many first marriages that have been restored after subsequent marriages. It's possible for you, too. You may want to visit: <A HREF="http://www.covenantkeepersinc.org" TARGET=_blank>www.covenantkeepersinc.org</A> Best of luck to you! I'll be praying.

The good stuff:1) my h. and I made three great boys together2) he wants to make this marriage a happy and fulfilling one for us both, so much that3) we are in joint counseling together with a great therapist, something I have wanted for years4) he plans to see her individually, too.!5) we are under the same roof and pretty happy about it now,6) he called me his Pearl of Great Price, and I'm changing my userid to POGP.hugs to all who haven't had one today,Lizzie, who is going away to be replaced by POGP------------------ When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2

Medic, It's nice to think about all that we have that is good, but sometimes not much comes to mind. 1) I have a wife, that I hope wants this marriage as much as me. 2) I have a great job 3) I have a funny little dog that gives unconditional love 4) I have this board. I may not want to have had to come here, but I'm glad that I did. 5) I have some of my health. Physically I'm fine, mentally not so much. 6) I have my dreams and wishes. Sometimes they get me through. I guess it doesn't sound like much but it's all mine...------------------ That Which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Hi Tim, Thank you for the wonderful idea for this post. I am historically an optomistic and very appreciative person. After 5 months of hell which we all understand, and some paxil, I am finding myself again. There are the moments of desperation and depression, but overall my attitude is looking up. I live in beautiful Colorado. I'm out on the plains, but with a mountain view at least and 300+ days of sunshine. We have two gentle horses, two healthy rambunctious children, two loving canines, and two schizophrenic cats (aren't they all) I really do have a wonderful, energetic, fun-loving, spontaneous, hunk of a husband, who is trying to remember all my good points at the moment. Hopefully it will all come back soon!!!! I have soooooo many caring, compassionate friends, such a sincere, humble, loving, respectful, caring, deicated family (including my 2 older brothers that I would never have imagined saying that about as a kid) I love my part-time work as an OB/GYN nurse practitioner and spend most of my time with patients now talking about their relationship, kids, intimate time together, etc.....and have found that to be so rewarding. I'd even like to teach a his needs/her needs class someday. But better straighten my own marriage out first. I have found a renewed strength in my faith, and hoping my husband will. Mostly, I have truly determined the most important values in life.....family, friends, helping others, and striving to live by Jesus' teachings (I'm NOT a bible beater, some may prefer Buddha, whatever...) and Stephen Covey's high principles and morals. And to continue to find internal strength and love and to share that with others. Thanks again for the idea for this post. We must feel the negativity in our experiences, but we can continue to focus on the positive, and give thanks everyday!!!!Jenn------------------

New here! I try each day to look in the mirror and remember the good in my life. Mostly right now I have a beautiful daughter who is 2 1/2 and she brings me much joy. I had a real good conversation with my ex and found out that his live-in is bad mouthing me and just livid that we are communicating. I don't say anything bad about her and hope one day my ex will take me back. Oh geez, I got off the topic. Today is Friday...I have the whole weekend with my daughter and if it works out I just may run into my ex at breakfast on Sunday!! My health is good. LOVE my job, great boss! My mom lives close and she is wonderful. Of course I'm her favorite, we just don't tell my two sisters!! The sun is shinning right now and I can't wait until June 1, 2000....that WILL be our 15 year wedding anniversary and I hope that is the day we remarry! hang loose....((hugs))

Sorry it took so long to get back to you guys. LONG day at work. I was on the "streets" today and we had our butts handed to us. Put in 14 hours. Hi Desperado,I'm sorry to hear of your break up. I told the W that whoever gets me nest will get a great partner and lover. I have learned so much here and in my reading. Only you can say whens enough is enough.NSR,Great list. I have most recently turned to Him too.Cl!Don't even think of honing in on my thread girl.......Just kidding.RWD,Our kids are our legacy. Sorry but I only follow the Yanks. This situation affects all parts of our life. Have been reading of your ups and downs. It WILL all turn out for the best.Carol,What an extremely touching post. I am so sorry for your most recent loss.Marlo,JUST kidding about the dang cats thing. Val took our dog when she left. Damn I miss them both. We MUST put ourselves first and grow as individuals.TNT,You slay me! A most impressive resume. WOW great story. Did I tell you that I invented toothpaste?Kalise,Alot of people say about getting back with Toni [first W]. Her included. She was with me everyday I was at the hospital with my Mom after the heart attack. Thanks for the prayers.Liz or shoud I say POGP,Glad to hear of your success story. We all need to know it can and does happen. Thanks for the hug. I needed that too.Robilar,You say it doesn't sound like much. It sounds good to me. If you could only post that you get up everyday, that might be considered not much. Looks like you do have things to be thankful of.Jennifer,Good to hear you attitude is looking up. I was a basket case for the longest time [ 6 months] and pulled myself up by my boot straps.Bikermom,First welcome. I was told never say never. If you build it they will come. Have a GREAT week end with your daughter.Thanks to all for posting. I hope this question was thought provoking for you all. Don't stop being thankful for all the good in your life when this gets buried in the archives. Every morning I look in the mirror and reflect [no pun intended] about what is going well for me.Once again thanks for your participation.Wishing us all the Best.Medic

Well, currently H and I are NOT divorced as was supposed to happen on Wed...because jerk of a judge would not approve our already agreed upon joint custody arrangement. So, we have to go back to court and go through a custody assessment. Please say prayers that judge will "See the light". Anyway, I have so many wonderful things in my life. First of all, my 3 beautiful children, who are so strong and so loving and absolutely thriving despite all of this turmoil.My wonderful family, who even though they can be judgemental and stiffling sometimes, really, truly love me and want the best for me and are there to support me.My friends, especially, my best friend J, who has been my rock over the past few months. I couldn't have done it without her.My husband, who has shown me myself over the last 6 months. He has enabled me to see us as we were and to really work on me. We are getting a long so well, and some things that happened last week are evidence of that [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

. Anyway, despite his actions (betraying), I have learned a lot. He is a great dad and I am lucky to have him as a father to our children.Finally, God. He has truly "carried" me lately. I woke up the other day and realized that I am "ok", not happy, but "ok". It has taken a lot to get to that and God has truly taken the burden when I just couldn't. And thanks to all of my MB friends. It isn't over yet, but we are all getting there and getting healthier!------------------ Rachel :)

Hey Cam,Have been reading your posts of the upcoming court date. This bites baloney. I see that the divorce is not final. Some folks say that things happen for a reason. I believe this sometimes, other times I just think it is because this sucks worse that life itself. Maybe you are not meant to divorce quite yet. Depends on how you look at it. Is the glass half full, or half empty. As long as there is beer in the glass I am happy, works for me.Thanks for the response. Hope things go the way YOU want them too.Wishing us all the Best.Medic

Somedays (ok, many days) it is hard to find the good. But it's there if we look.. For me its: My son, who is doing so well in school and work. He is what keeps me going. My family, especially my sister, who is always there for me, even when my actions disappoint her. My girlfriends...they help keep me sane, and never judge. Believe it or not...the fact that H is doing his best to keep me and son in our home. He says he doesn't want to pull the rug out from under us. And that he & I can be friendly to each other. That so far I find the strength to get thru another day, and I am still alive, after being plagued by thoughts of just checking out. OK, yes, my dogs and cats.... I love them dearly, especially when I am crying and they nuzzle me and lick away my tears.

Hey ATW,Wondered where ya were. Yes, some days it is very hard to find the good things in our lives, but, damn it they are there. Thank God "those" days are getting fewer and fewer for me. Almost down to none.I had two neighbors ask me how things are going for me. They all see that Val is not at home presently. I shocked the poop out of them with my new attitude. "I couldn't be better" and I really mean that. I had a second date with Michele tonight. We took my son back up to college. We stopped to eat and chat. Came back to the house to watch a movie. Great time was had by all.Well, back to you. Sorry I ramble a lot lately. I'm slowly feeling my life returning to me. I think Val sucked the life out of me. I'm glad to hear of your support network.Hang in there it DOES get better!Wishing us all the Best.Medic.