GUYS,<P>I'm a little more than sad with the majority of the recent posts lately. They all seem so negative. Yes, I understand none of us are here by choice and most of us would give up a body part to be named at a later date not to be here. I will TRY to uplift some spirits here by challenging you to tell us the GOOD THINGS that are going on in your life. We may not see it right now because of our problems. But there is good.<P>OK, I'll start and somebody better follow up or I will feel like a total putz. Boy that would be a first for me. LOL<P>Hi, My name is Tim. I'm 39 years old and live in eastern PA. I own a very successful ambulance service [gee as if the "handle" didn't give that one away]. This is my second marriage. Unfortunately it is not going very well right now because I put so much time in the company, but, I have tried my very best to search out the problems and fix them. I feel that if it does fail, I, will be able to look back and not regret my participation in the reconsiliation attempt. I have found my self respect again. Damn, I forgot where I put it before. <P>I have two great boys from my first marriage that I would not trade in for the world because they have very high mileage and I would probably not get a very good trade in value for them. Just kidding. I could get a few grand for them.<P>My oldest boy is in college and studying to become a nurse. He is in the Honors Classes, very intelligent, not like me at all. No smart comments, he IS intrested in girls. The younger one wants to become involved in dad's business and may become an Emergency Medical Technician soon when he becomes old enough. He sees that I don't do much. You guys know that since I'm almost always here. I usually just sit in the "big chair".<P>I have a VERY good relationship with my first XW. I know this is strange, but so am I. We get along better now than ever. We help each other out as much as possible. Just this weekend I put a serpentine belt on her car. Boy that sucked worse than life it self. But I was helping her. It felt good. I asked for nothing in return other than friendship.<P>My Mother recently had a major heart attack and I was there for her. It was touch and go for a long time. I spent 9 days straight in the hospital with her. Boy that scared the [censored] out of me. Coronary artery bypass surgery X3 fixed everything. We are now closer than ever.<P>My employees know what is going on in my life [ they all know Val from before ] and give me nothing but positive feedback if I deserve it or not. We are all like family. Upon discovery they helped me out tremendously. I am returning the favor. It's a big family.<P>I am looking forward to retiring in the next 5 years and living in Virginia Beach with someone who wants to be there with me. Hopefully it will be a blonde. [Vals a blonde] Right now I don't know if it will be my W or someone new. I HAVE learned so much from this site and all of you. I truly believe that I have a bright future and feel so much better about myself today and all of you are to commended. Thanks for bringing me out of the toilet of life.<P>I challenge all of you to stop and think what IS going good in your life right now. KIDS, FAMILY, FRIENDS, COWORKERS. Please let us all know. You all are my family in my mind.<P>Wishing us the Best.<P>Medic

Hi Medic238 -<P>The love of my life right now is my adoring cat Dusty (aka Dust Buster). He sleeps with me every night. Sleeping alone sucks.<P>You're right in that I think of all of you as family too. I don't think you're a putz.

Medic,<BR>Good things.......Hmmmmmm<P>Well, the past 8 yrs of my life with my W. I wouldn't trade them in for anything.<P>I wake up in the morning.....<P>I have a great job and make good money....<P>I have great friends.....<P>Otherwise, Life sucks sometimes but we will all be in a better place eventually.<P><P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Great topic. Thanks Medic.<P>My H and I are working hard on our marriage, feeling a lot of love and forgiveness, and we have great communication. We're having fun together.<P>We're going to try to buy a house. Woo Hoo!<P>My family loves me.<P>My cats love me.<P>I'm smart, talented, and compassionate, and so is my husband.<P>I have a great job that I'm good at, I enjoy, and it pays well.<P>

COME ON YOU GUYS!<P>Sidney,<P>I KNOW there is more in your life than Dusty. I'm sure he's a great pet. Cats are nice, kind of odd, but, nice. Do you want two more? I would be more than happy to send you mine! You got that right that sleeping alone [both physically and mentally] bites the big one. We used to sleep like spoons. Not you and me, me and Val. I never thought that much about it in the past. I do now.<P>Rutger,<P>Come on man,<P>I am fully aware that this sucks worse than life itself. Believe me, I know. You are scaring me with the better place eventually thing. I wish you guys would stop that. The 8 years with W is a good thing. Hells bells make it another 8. And then another 8 and you get the idea.<P>Hi Marlo,<P>THANK YOU!<P> This is what I'm looking for. Congrats on trying to find a house. I'm so glad to hear all those GREAT things. What's this with the dang cats?<P>Come on gang. Look deep inside. What are you truely thankful for?<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

hi medic,<BR>right about now I feel that I am very blessed and very lucky to have come out of this with an intact mind.<BR>Yeah, some will wonder....is her mind truly intact? <BR>And somehow I seem to have retained my sick sense of humor!

I have so much good, it just seems I let the bad in to much lately.<P>I have 3 wonderful girls, 8/6/4.<BR>They got their report cards today all A's<BR>Got a true heartfelt apology from H today.<BR>Everyone in my family is healthy and we are planning our Thanksgiving reunion.<BR>My h is getting ready to start his own business, a dream of his since he was a boy.<BR>I have been out of work for 4 weeks .. H finally said I could stay home w/girls if wanted to.<BR>My 6 yr old got chosen for Honor Choir.<BR>My dog , Sarah.<BR>Since I've been home and had to budget better, I got control of our debt and paid of 2 credit cards! YEAH!<BR>My house is clean, there is food in the fridge and it's quiet right now, cold outside, but warm in here.<BR>I really feel good tonight. <BR>I actually have a smile and no chest pains from stress!<BR>Lost 2 pants sizes ... need to go Shopping now!<BR>Thank you Medic, the good abounds we just need to see it.<BR>M<P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

Sorry, Medic238, Dusty's an only child and he wants to keep it that way. <P>Okay, since this crisis hit, I have developed a wonderful friendship with a lady at work (my guardian angel) who has taken me under her wing. <P>I also have a very supportive (even though they are dysfunctional) family whom I am visiting for 5 days starting next Sunday. And my sisters are taking me rollerblading, for the first time (Say a prayer for me.)

Hi Medic Tim!!<BR>Gee, it's nice to hear from you. You know, I look forward to your threads. Even when you are in the pits, you always make me laugh. You forgot to add that one to your list.<BR>Ok, here goes.<BR>I have a BEAUTIFUL daughter that I love more and more each day I breath.<BR>I have a WONDERFUL family.<BR>I have a GREAT job.<BR>I have a GORGEOUS house.<BR>I have 2 dogs that lick my face every day, just because I remember to feed them!!<BR>I have learned that there are MORE important things in life than saving a sinking marriage- my sanity for one.<BR>I do not have a lot of money, but I am wealthier than most people I know.<BR>I have been blessed beyond belief during this awful ordeal. It just took me a little bit of time to open my eyes to see it.<P>BTW- maybe God is trying to tell you to let Val go and get back w/ the mother of your children. Ever think about that one??? (I don't know if she's a blonde or not, but Loreal can fix that right up-LOL)<P>Hang in there, my friend. You've got no where to go but up.<P>Cheryl

Medic: Like your story. Your family sounds great! I am happy that I have two wonderful kids 8 and 10 years old. I can honestly say that I am healthy and thank God, don't need your ambulance service!!! I have a great job. My mom and dad are spry and in good health. Even my wife hasn't been too bad in the past couple of weeks. My car hasn't had any problems in a long time and is almost paid for. I have a nice apartment that I'm furnishing to my own taste. I am enjoying being on my own right now. Looking forward to making a clean break after 18 months of..well, this is supposed to be positive, so never mind. I'm 37 years old, this is my first marriage, and I am finally being able to see clearly that it is over. I am looking forward to being by myself for a while, working on my self-esteem, and getting rid of some baggage before I seek that lovely woman who is just waiting for a nice guy like me. How's that for positive?

I have so much to be thankful for...<P>My three kids...<BR>Robbie... stepson who I raised from the age of 4 and am so proud of now...<BR>Stephen... will be taking his blackbelt test this coming Friday....<BR>Erika... my ballerina princess!<P>My family...<BR>They love me beyond belief...<BR>They support me spiritually, and financially<P>My W's family<BR>They love me too...<BR>They help wherever they can...<P>My Church community....<BR>They pray and pray and pray for me...<P>My work place...<BR>(although a downsize is emminant) it has been a great place to be.<P>My God, His Son, and the Spirit that has filled me with more strength I ever knew I had.<P>All you here who keep me honest with myself!<P>Thanks, <P>Jim

hi ceecee, have been wanting to mention that I appreciate your parents for spelling your name correctly! Never sure why people use the 'S' version? I am not sure how I feel about your nickname....my initials and the nickname I grew up with! <BR>Cheers, cl

My kids make me the happiest, I don't know what I would have done with out them<P> plus I made a new friend and am getting closer to another.<P>Sorry to say everything else in my life sucks right now, the Steelers and Pirates stink, the Indians didn't quite make it.The Browns are back, but they suck(yea !!!, I hate the Browns) <BR>The company I worked for for 14 yrs got bought out last Dec and I got new boss who has no personality. He was all buddy, buddy and called every week until my production numbers came out and my work has suffered the past 6 months(gee, I wonder why?)<BR>My softball team made it to the finals where we choked big time, losing twice to a team we had beaten by 15 runs the week before and they had won a game before the double header.<P>I can't wait till next year!!!!!!!!!!!!

cl,<P>I'm glad they spelled it right too!!! cc are my 'madain initials', w/ an a in the middle, which btw, I'm going to need to get used to using again!!<BR>How's this for the worst spelling of our name in history (this letter wah addressed to me)<BR>Mrs. SHAREYLLY *****. Now, is THAT how you spell our name- LOL<P>Cheryl

CL,<P>Hey it's good to hear from you. I'm glad to hear that things are going so well for you. GIVE ME SOME HINTS! Just remember, sometimes you feel like a nut...sometimes your are!<P>Hiya Mater,<P>OK, My idea for this thread was to look deep inside ourselves with heavy reflection and find all the good that is in our lives. YOU don't have to take it all. YOUR'E SUCKING THE LIFE OUTTA ME. Just kidding. I'm so very glad for your happiness. Now it looks likes dogs are included.<P>SIDNEY,<P>Somebodys gotta want some really nice kitty cats. Do you live close? I'm so very glad you found a guardian angel. Family is so very important. I just found out recently. Once again, dopey me! See, you found another good thing! TOLD YOU!<P>CEE CEE,<P>Hey thanks for the compliment. I know I'm a few fries short of a happy meal. Don't deny it. I appreciate my kids more almost, almost, every day. More dogs, cheese and crackers! Ya know many folks have said about me returning to Toni [First W]. It seems that you and I have finally learned to look after outselves first. Boy this is getting difficult. Val, Toni, Michele, Me.<P>Thanks for all the input.<P>Let's try to keep the GOOD things going. I think NB tried this before. Lets get a little more intimate. I have nothing to hide.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Hey Medic,<P>This is what it is about dang cats!<P>Cats are my emotional role models! When they want cuddles, they ask for it. When they want to be left alone, they tell you. They eat when they're hungry, stop when they're full, nap when they're tired, and play every day. I want to be more like a cat.<P>Another good thing in my life: I've used my recent depression and my marriage crisis to really take some time and examine myself, in counseling on my own. Trying to figure out why I repeat destructive patterns, and why I think I deserve unhappiness, and how to change that. And I'm also trying to figure out what I really want. And one thing I'm sure of is that I really want to be married to my husband, but I will not stay married to him if he cheats again. I don't deserve to be treated this way. And I feel very grounded and strong in this decision. And I like that feeling.

Okay, Medica, I'll bite...Chomp <P><BR>anyhow... I am 43, and in my second marriage. <P>I have 3 wonderful kids from my first marriage, inherited 2 kids from my second marriage and we have a 7 year old together. He is wonderful. If he didn't have a dysfunctional family - he could grow up and be the president. <P>I take that back, didn't we elect Clinton????<P>Anyhoooo.....<P>I am a woman of many talents. I sew, and I love to decorate. I do beautiful paintings, roses are my favorite, oh, and I like to paint steam engines... I love working with people, and have switched careers now maybe 3 times, and think I have one that I love the most. I work to help resettle refugees, and try to fight racism in Rural MN.<P>I am writing a book about my personal racism, and how I am working to over come it. (I'm odviously going to need a good editor - just check out my spelling... )<P>I am involved in my community, and recently organized a non-profit agency to be a multi-cultural resource to rural communities. <P>Many of the refugees I resettle are Bosnian Roma (Gypsies). I give many speeches on refugee settlement, and also speak on Bosnian Gypsy culture. Since moving to MN, I have been on TV a couple of times, and even on PBS. <P>I never dreamed I would be doing this kind of work, I was a construction office manager in So. CA before moving to MN. <P>One day, after church, H and our little guy (then 2) went for a drive and I fell asleep. I woke up and we were at a lake. My husband and our son were outside of the car skipping stones in the water. There were other cars around. I could hear beautiful music. <P>I woke up, and continued to listen to the music. Then I opened the door and the music stopped, instantaneously. I talked with my H and my little boy, and asked which car was playing the music. He said "nobody's playing any music...." and just looked at me like I came from another planet.<P>At that time we had just finished our first separation. (95). I was reading the Bible from the beginning. The next day, after the music experience, I came across this verse:<P>(Living Bible).... Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord himself exulting over you in happy song:..... and give you a good name, a name of distinction among all the peoples of the earth......(Zephaniah 3:16-20)<P>I know the Lord has his hands over my life, and this is a valley that I am in for the moment. He's walking through this valley with me. My faith in God is what is helping me through all of this.<P>I know I will come out of this happier, stronger, wiser, and closer to the Lord.<P>You will too, Medica.<P>

You entered into a covenant with your first wife with God as your witness. You promised your first wife AND God you would love her and be with her forever. Just because you didn't hold up your end of the commitment, doesn't mean God has let you off the hook.<P>Your present marriage troubles aren't surprising. In God's eyes you are still married to your first wife. Look at what good friends you've become. And with Harley concepts and philosophies you can become each others most passionate lovers. What a happy outcome for your family!!!!<P>There are many first marriages that have been restored after subsequent marriages. It's possible for you, too. <P>You may want to visit: <A HREF="http://www.covenantkeepersinc.org" TARGET=_blank>www.covenantkeepersinc.org</A> <P>Best of luck to you! I'll be praying.<P>

The good stuff:<P>1) my h. and I made three great boys together<P>2) he wants to make this marriage a happy and fulfilling one for us both, so much that<P>3) we are in joint counseling together with a great therapist, something I have wanted for years<P>4) he plans to see her individually, too.!<P>5) we are under the same roof and pretty happy about it now,<P>6) he called me his Pearl of Great Price, and I'm changing my userid to POGP.<P>hugs to all who haven't had one today,<P>Lizzie, who is going away to be replaced by <P>POGP<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>

Medic, It's nice to think about all that we have that is good, but sometimes not much comes to mind.<BR>1) I have a wife, that I hope wants this marriage as much as me.<BR>2) I have a great job<BR>3) I have a funny little dog that gives unconditional love<BR>4) I have this board. I may not want to have had to come here, but I'm glad that I did.<BR>5) I have some of my health. Physically I'm fine, mentally not so much.<BR>6) I have my dreams and wishes. Sometimes they get me through.<BR>I guess it doesn't sound like much but it's all mine...<P>------------------<BR>That Which does not kill us makes us stronger.<P>