Calling, Pal! Calling, Pal! - Marriage Builders® Forums

[ August 19, 2004, 01:23 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

sigh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> you risked irreparably breaking your wifes heart for sex?

I usually do feel like I can learn something from your posts. I do think it's good to get the WS p.o.v. here, you do give us that.

You haven't answered my ? to you (you may not have seen it) WHY when your ow was knowingly and purposely doing something that would damn near kill your wifes spirit and cause her pain that is indescribable, why then was she so great that you couldn't stay away from her? But the second she did something that might hurt you she became "evil"?

Honestly, I am not sure what anyone would get out of reading about the sordid, sleazy sex life of a fogged out, screwed up WS who is NO WAY in any sense of recovery. The blind cannot lead the blind, my friend.

PAL, if you do come back, stick with the winners, not other newcomers who are in the same mess you are in. We have numerous WSes here ARE in recovery who CAN help you. WhiteKnight is not in recovery himself, so is not in a position to help you. He can't even help himself.

And whiteknight, to you, I would only suggest that you take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. You need to focus on recovery YOURSELF before you can help anyone else. And maybe a good first step would be in telling your victim, ie: your wife.

[ August 19, 2004, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

WK, far from being a text book case of recovering WS, I don't see you even trying. Rather, I see you here trying to "educate" others with nonsense when you can't even educate yourself. Why not clean up your own backyard before you presume to clean up others?

WhiteKnight,

Maybe if you confessed to your wife, stopped obsessing about sexual fantasies with OW, and put up some boundaries (like not sending private e-mails to another man's wife) THEN we would see that you are in recovery?

You seem to be stuck and therefore not really capable of helping somebody else to let go of an affair. I don't think we mean to be rude to you, IMO it's more a matter of you not realizing how abrasive some of your posts are to people who are in recovery. You certainly can relate to others in the same stage you are still in. But this site is for people who are willing to follow MB principles to try to save their marriages. That's what we are trying to support each other in doing. We just don't see how you can help someone else change when you are unwilling to make those changes yourself. There are sites like the TOW site for the sort of sharing that enables and endorses adultery. No doubt those folks would not feel welcome here and vice versa. Maybe you're just not ready to save your marriage yet (or to help others save theirs)?

If my WH ever came to this site I would worry about him talking to somebody like you. He already has plenty of friends and relatives who have 'supported' his adulterous urges to the point that he's wreaked ruin on his marriage and family. My WH would benefit from the 2X4 whacks to help knock him free of the fog.

Maybe this analogy would help: What if somebody showed up at an AA meeting and started handing out his e-mail address to recovering alcholics, inviting them to contact him if they need to talk about how good beer tastes, how badly they miss sipping it and hanging out at bars? The reason what you want to talk about (not YOU) is unwelcome here is because it is not what helps people save their marriages. To fight an addiction you have to come to a realization that dwelling on the pleasure you got from feeding the addiction is dangerous.

I know you can't help thoughts popping in your head... but 7 months later? I think it would be better if somebody who has had much better success with withdrawal gives advice to PAL (and to YOU). And I don't think it's appropriate for the private e-mails to be going on, no matter what the motive. Even if it never did lead to an emotioanl affair, it is in itself a betrayal IMO. Does your wife know about it? And would she be OK with it? ONLY if it was OK with PAL's husband AND your wife, and you showed them the e-mails, would it be OK IMO. Frankly I'm appalled at how you've left your wife totally in the dark about your affair, about why the OW is taking vengence on you, AND about you e-mailing PAL.

IMO you should start taking some advice from the more successful posters here and wait until you've had more success saving your own marriage before giving advice.

It's not just a BS vs WS thing either. We have a lot of respect for the WS's who post here who are working hard at restoring their marriages. There doesn't need to be more support here for the justification, fog, hanging on to the fantasy, dishonesty, etc. Those THINGS (not the people who do them) get criticized here because they do not help marriages recover.

Your wife will find out someday and she will be mega upset that you continued to be dishonest with her for so long. You're not merely delaying recovery - you're making it more painful, more work, and less likely to be successful the more you stall.

[ May 29, 2004, 09:10 PM: Message edited by: meremortal ]

Meremortal that was one of the best posts I have EVER read on MB.

Jenny

PS I hope I'm included in the WS's who are doing their best to save their marriages.

Another PS I find it interesting that WK seems to think he is the only WS on the board. I have never seen a flicker of interest when any of us (WS's) post.

I have had nothing but support (except for one notable occasion when I WAY overstepped the boundaries of good taste) from EVERYONE on this board.

[ May 29, 2004, 09:40 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]

Jenny, I would sure put you in that category! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WK,
I'm not a perfect ws by no means, but I have been
where you are and I know how it feels. You don't
have to take any advice from anyone and you won't,
not until you're ready to accept responsibility
for your own actions. Ya got to let ow go! You have to let it be over or it goes on forever, ya got to stop blaming her.You and I both know, she didn't twist your
arm, you are just as guilty, accept it, leave it be,
move on.

I didn't tell my wife, trust me, I wasn't protecting her,I was protecting my own [censored] and so are you.
Just couldn't find the right time, couldn't sleep,
or eat, couldn't do my job, it ate me up. I had all kind of stomach problems. The ow told her, it was awful
and yes it would have been awful regardless, but I
only wish now I had been man enough to do it. It hurt
my wife so much, the fact that I didn't tell her,
but we are working on it everyday, she's right here
with me, we've had to go to court recently with ow,
and sometimes things were ugly but we made it.

As far as emailing another woman, you should make it a rule NEVER to do that, my wife and I share the same screen name, and everything, I like it better that way, no secrets, nothing to hide. Any mail can be read by both of us at all times. Ya gotta work on you before you can
even try helping anybody else and right now, you're a mess.

Please tell your wife
she has the right to know!

wk,

the person of the the married couple that you are trying to engage are not responding.

However, everyone else is.

wk, come out of your fog.

Once again, how can your BS meet your need when she doesn't know what has been going on with you?

You have triggered me in a huge way. No one knows all of my story here. But, my FWS has his own issues, not to do with yours. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But hey, you never know!

How can your wife meet your serious, very valid EN's if you don't let her know what is up? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Are you scared? Good. U are wrong. Your wife needs to know what you need. This is why, after 7 months of NC, except legally of course that you are not fulfilled.

Ask your BS why she does not meet your en's. Have you tried MB principals with your BS?

I just have to agree with everyone else here. CONFESS.

Don't be scared. MB posters will all be there for you and support you when it all comes down.

Sacrificing your health for secrecy is not good. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

God Bless, I hope you find the way you need to go for a healthy life.

I am done.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

WK -

My D-Day would have been far better if my WH told me about the A. Instead I was informed by the OW that she had indeed slept w/ my H. The pain that was inflicted upon me that day was horrific. I went totally black. My OW (former friend) filled me w/ Cosmopolitians and then ripped my heart out. Do you want that for your BS?

Please tell her yourself before someone else does. I would have respected my WH abit more if he was MAN ENOUGH to tell me of his betrayal. He was a COWARD. Your wife deserves more and you are not being fair to her, you are still deceiving her - remember your vows - lift the fog that you apparently are still in. Your OW is not to blame for your deceit - ONLY you are - she didn't take vows w/ your BS!

JMHO.
BB2

hello to all-
I will continue
to encourage WK
to confess. It is
his decision-
not ours. I have
let go of OM-
but my withdrawal
is a process. It
is not as easy as
BS want to think it
is. That I am
honest about. My A
was more an EA-
than PA-I had
thought I had a
trusted friend-
that is what I miss.
WK & I will chat
on board & not
thru email anymore.
I do not want to
make myself vulnerable
to anyone.

That is what sucks about affairs, isn't it? Everyone loses something, to some degree. My FWH's OW was my "best friend" at the time. We talked all day, every day. We called each other when we got up in the morning, throughout the day, at night. Her and my H were my best pals.

So, after d-day, I had nobody. My days were filled with those two. It was so quiet. My phone didn't ring. And I had so much pain, and nothing to do with it, nobody to tell!

I did create a circle of friends around myself, those that I had let fall off my radar, being so busy with H and my "friend." And these friends were so grateful to be back in my life! We had all missed each other. And they have been so awesome to me. Let me back in their busy lives, taken long phone calls with me repeating the same things to them over and over and over (mostly "Why?Why?Why?How?How?How?).

And H came home. We are in a wonderful recovery. BUT, OW will never be in our lives again. She lost her two best friends. We miss her kids. In some ways, I miss her - the person I thought she was.

But I have a life with my H. We have kids, dreams, plans, a home, love. We made a commitment to each other 13 years ago to be life partners and best friends.

Fill up your days with others. Fill up your heart with love. Keep talking to your H and reconnect with him. Go for a romantic weekend. Even if the trust is tentative - work with what you have.

Best wishes, and sending you lots of love and prayers.

SS

[ August 19, 2004, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

Well??????

WK how is your wife now?

Jenny

hello WK,
it may not seem like it now, but you did the right thing. my W thought she could hold it inside her forever and spare me the pain. it simply was too much to carry. she still has moments when she questions her decision to tell me. i simply asked recently if she felt the weight of that burden was gone and she said yes. even though it was difficult to hear and think about for me at the time, i know she is better off emotionally and physically having laid down that burden. in time you will feel the same. i know without a doubt that during the A she was not herself or thinking clearly. i also know that she never stopped loving me, she just slowly developed feelings for OM over time. your situation may be similar. i know this for certain. if there is true love between you and your W you will make it. it won't be easy but you must try hard. encourage her to come here. i'm glad my W did for me. but most of all, pray both of you for God's will to be done in this matter and for strength to get through it no matter how long it takes. one more thing, be open, be honest, be loving! you have taken the first step toward a better marriage. we will be praying and thinking of you both.
trusting in Him, rdl

oops, my computer skills need work. at first i posted same post twice. then deleted the duplicate. will work on that. later.

[ June 03, 2004, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: renewingdeeplove ]

wk...I glad that you came "clean" with your wife. We will be waiting to hear more from you.

OK, I'm back for a little while. I am absolutely exhausted. Have not slept much, as everyone can imagine.

On this incredible road of experience I have been travelling on for so long, I have learned all the things I was wrong about. A lot of what I wrote in the past were honest feelings a WS goes through, and I thought they would last forever, but they don't. Something happened to me a few weeks ago. Maybe I was all talked out. Maybe I bled myself dry from all the thinking about OW, but suddenly --- she was nothing to me anymore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Maybe time had finally caught up to me. Maybe all the evil things she did really pounded its way so deep into me, that it knocked all images and thoughts about her Out of my system. I just don't care about her anymore. I don't wish evil or death or misery upon anyone, but if she died tomorrow, it would be of little interest to me. She tried to ruin my M. She tried to ruin my life. She can burn at the stake tomorrow. I don't care.

The worst part about the A was that it hurt my W --- someone who did not deserve to be hurt.

Th other horrible things is how it humiliated me. It made me ashamed of me. It took my pride away. It diminished me as a person. It made me less of a man.

There is nothing GOOD about an A; but I would not be honest if I didn't admit that I at least wish my OW was a nice woman, and she and I strayed and now were saw how wrong we were, and we went our seperate ways. Instead I am absolutely embarassed that I fell victim to a manipulator and evil witch.

I explained to W why things happened --- in my opinion. I ave been working way too much in the last few years. She has been busy and I have been busy. We neglected each other. Our sex life was non existant. She was not very affectionate. It did not seem she was very much interested in my lfe. I was bored. And then came this OW. She smiled at me. She was attracted to me. She was proud of me. She wanted to be with me. She was all over me. It felt like being in H.S. again. I fell into the pit and did not know how to get out. Truth is, in a lot of ways, I did NOT want to get out.

I am so ashamed that I lied to myself and W and so many others for an entire year! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> NOT that a one night fling is justified, but what a liar and jerk and fool I was. Holy co <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> w, I ******* some OW for an entire year! Imagine if I spent that time trying to improve my M. Imagine if I spent that time doing something good. Instead, all I did was "take a vacation from real life." Well, the vacation is over. The bags are unpacked. The lights are on in the house. The vacation was not free. Got to pay the bills now.

I don't have too much to say about W reaction now. She is terribly upset. She is upset that I *********** OW. Especially, a ***** who has caused us so much misery.

I really put my health --- and hers --- in danger. There are diseases out there! I could have gotten A.I.D.S., Genital Warts, or who the heck knows what else? What an ******* I was! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

She feels like a fool for not seeing what was going on. After all, I lied to W for an entire year. I have done my best to let her know that she was NOT an idiot --- I was just a very good liar. I was an expert at hiding the truth.

W is amazed that I --- of all people --- would do this. You see, even though I am an American, in many ways, I have a lot of non-American standards. In a lot of ways, I can really relate to certain Asian cultures. Every one who knows me knows I always keep my word. I am not known to be a liar. Honor means a lot to me. If these were different times, I would ram a sword into my heart, because I have disgraced myself. I have disgraced my family. My parents did not raise me to be the type of person who gives their word to another person, spend years with that person, offering trust and love and everything I have, and then hide in the shadows and screw OW.

I have not been the person I always wanted to be. I have not anything I am proud of. MY W can not be proud of me. No one can be proud of me. I was wrong, wrong, wrong.

W does not talk much. SHe has not had many questions. She is the quiet type. She is sweet and quiet and honest. She is not flamboyant or talky. She does not have many friends. She likes to come home and read books. She does not know who to talk to. I have encouraged her to come here, and she may come and lurk around for awhile. I have not told her I am WHITEKNIGHT yet. I am so scared of her reading some of the things I have written. She can learn so much by reading other posts for awhile, before making herself known.

She agrees with me, that telling her friends and family can be a nightmare. She is wiling to FORGIVE me, but there is no doubt whatsoever, that her friends will NEVER forgive and forget. Not that I need their forgiveness; but I do need to be in the same room with them i the future, and answer the phone, and more. What will they thik of me besides --- WHAT A JERK! WHAT A LIAR! SHE DESERVES BETTER!

Does anyone have any experience with this? How do you deal with BS family and friends?

How do I recover my self-esteem? I used to be so proud to be me; now I am ashamed to look in the mirror. I was a liar. There is no changing that. I lied to someone I lved. I took the easy way out. Instead of fixing something that could be fixed, I hid and played in the park with my little "friend." I kicked my W out of the sandbox and hung out with my new "best friend" instead; who turned out to have motives a child's mind could not compreend.

I have matured. I have grown. But I am still ashamed of my chilldhood antics. I wish I could go back in time and talk to the little boy I was --- last year! I was not a man. I was not a H. I was not a partner. I was not my W best friend.

The GOOD NEWS? Something like this will NEVER happen again. I give all of you my word, I give my W my word, and I give ME my word. I have a life to life. It is short enough. There is no time at all for messing around with anyone or anything that might cause anyone harm.

I'll be back. I'm exhausted.

WK

[ June 04, 2004, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr />How do I recover my self-esteem? I used to be so proud to be me; now I am ashamed to look in the mirror. I was a liar. There is no changing that. I lied to someone I lved. I took the easy way out. Instead of fixing something that could be fixed, I hid and played in the park with my little "friend." I kicked my W out of the sandbox and hung out with my new "best friend" instead; who turned out to have motives a child's mind could not compreend.
<hr /></blockquote>Last week you had something to be ashamed about. This week you don't, WK. You handled this bravely like a real man of character would and I am proud to know you.

The definition of a real man is not someone who is perfect, but someone who has the strength of character to admit when they are wrong and make amends for their wrongs. You did very good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

As far as her family and friends go, most will forgive you when they see you are sincere about your committment to your W. Some won't, but there isn't much you can do about that.

Take care, WK, I am proud to know you.

[How do I recover my self-esteem? I used to be so proud to be me; now I am ashamed to look in the mirror. I was a liar. There is no changing that. I lied to someone I lved. I took the easy way out. Instead of fixing something that could be fixed, I hid and played in the park with my little "friend." I kicked my W out of the sandbox and hung out with my new "best friend" instead; who turned out to have motives a child's mind could not compreend.

How do you recover your self esteem?.......... Concentrate on recovering your wifes!
Right now you need to put your feelings and pain aside and concentrate on her. Remember WK, this affair is old news to you, to your wife it happened TODAY.
You have read on here about plan A, thats what you need to be doing, also you know about "Radical honesty", this is a must now.
You say your wife has not asked many questions, she will in her own time ask what she WANTS to know, when she does make shure you tell her the answers honestly, if on the other hand she dosen't want to know then zip it because only she will know what she cares to hear.

Please for gods sakes DO NOT explain the OW and what you did the way you have to us here, remember the affair itself is hard enough for her to bear, be sensetive to her feelings when you discuss it. She will not need the blow by blow descriptions of the sexual part of the affair as you have described it here, that does not mean don't tell her if she asks, just don't tell her the way you have told us.

Make sense?

Congrats on fessing up, I wish you both the very best, and to be honest I don't think her reading your past posts will do her much good, I would suggest you change your ID or something, dunno, JMVHO.

mtheart

WK, sometimes I absolutely despaired of you when I read your posts.

Now you know what it is to be a real man.

I can only agree with the others - you did good, you did real good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Now be there for your wife.

Jenny

((((WK1))))

what do I say that will
make sense right now...
This is the beginning of
healing-like a deep wound-
it will take a long time
to heal, lots of love &
attention. be loving to her.
don't be too hard on you...
I did that game-& it is so
mentally draining. I am human-
I made a mistake-I have become
stronger & wiser because of
my vulnerability-you will
too. Stay in touch with
all of us-it helps. I wanted
to give up & handle on my
own-but it helps to vent. My
friends are tired of all of
it. My H & I are dealing
with some really good friends
becoming distant-I know not
intentionally-but it still
pains me to have them be
awkward around me.
take care & remember this-
1 DAY AT A TIME!
1 post at a time!
1 love in your heart!

mt...good advice to WK about not sharing the details <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I say if WK wants to
talk about whatever
he has on his mind-
he should know that
we will listen. All
these rules- I get
the feeling that we
WS's never get to
let it all out-we
may upset BS-how do
we get thru this ?
He is going thru a
tough time right now-
we need to support
him-not confine him.

PAL, WK should definitely answer every question his wife has and I'm sure he will, but if he tells her in the "graphic" way he told us it won't help her or him one little bit.

I'm sure he wouldn't anyway.

Jenny

I know-
& understand.
I hope it
does not come
to that-my H
has asked few
things. Some
I would be
uncomfortable
answering.
WK where
are you?
I want to
check &
see how life
is going...

a MAN has been born.....now HOW will he grow?

congrats wk---you've taken the first step....one step at a time now.

Hey, everyone, I'm here. It's Friday and I'll be checking in throughout the day.

Thanks, PAL, for mentioning that everyone should listen and not confine me. I do admit I wrote some rather graphic stuff in the past, and I am not like that in "real life." I hardly sit around with clients and friends and talk about my OW and how she used to beg me to **** her, and handcuff her, and how I made her wet, etc. Truth be told, those things sicken me a bit right now.

However, I do think that my letting it all out here certainly helped a lot. It was on my mind. I was thinking about my relationship with OW and what it was. Even though OW constantly told me how much she loved me and wrote a few love letters here and there, it was really the sex that was on my mind when it was all over. I didn't miss the conversations. I didn't miss the holding hands. I didn't miss this and that. I missed the sex.

Bleeding myself of all that here, helped me realize what the relationship really was. Yes, she built me up, etc. and maybe she did love me. I don't know. Maybe in her own sick and twisted mind, she was convinced that she loved me. But for me, if she didn't spread her legs, I probably would not have wasted my time.

So, sorry if some of you were sickened by my graphic descriptions, but like Howard Stern and others say, "change the channel!"

Without being graphic with my W like I was (am) here, I guess I can simply continue to say, "it was mostly about sex," and that should be sufficient. She has not asked for details and I doubt if she would want them anyway.

I will put aside my self-esteem for now. It is my W self-esteem that matters now. She must feel ugly. She must feel stupid. She must feel like a fool. She must feel like second fiddle. She must feel like a battering ram has knocked into her heart. She must feel like I tossed her into the bottom of a burning pit. She must be thinking about all of last year, and how much I DID NOT CARE about her; that if she got sick sick or hurt or anything, I would not have been there for her. But that is not true.

I was just screwing an OW. That's it. If OW and W were on their death beds and I could save only one of them, I would have had my heart removed and placed inside my W. I'm not just saying that because of how I feel now. I am sick to say I was nailing someone that I guess I just did not care about all that much. In fact, she was kind of a pain in the butt! I looked through some old phone bills, and she called me 9 times more than I called her. She pursued me. Not that THAT is an excuse for what I did, but in a lot of ways I did not want to hurt her feelings, so I let A drag on.

Oh, boy! That's gonna get some **** thrown at me. I should not have written that. I should have deleted it. But maybe it'll help some BS out there understand how and why SOME (certainly not ALL!) WS stay in a A.

Before the flames start throwing let me say here and now that I realize my W is top priority. She always has been. I was in a fog. I was blinded by the OW shining lipstick, and all she did to encourage A. She went out of her way to seduce me. Sex undergarments, perfumes, offering herself anytime, anywhere. She never once talked about the future and what we could do and be as a couple. Because she had no life and no dreams of her own, she tried to borrow --- or steal! --- mine. I should have known better. NOW I KNOW BETTER.

Dont despair all you BS out there. Your WS is and was with an OP who was (is) lost, out in the cold, out in the freezing rain, and OP was (is) trying to cling onto anyone who will give them some direction. They wanted a taste of the paradise you and S have, but they don't want to spend the time to create it on their own. They want it instantly. They don't look back and they don't look forward. All they have is the here and now, and as a result, they don't see the destruction they have left in their wake, or all the misery that's out on the horizon.

OPs are lonely. They are desperate. They are looking for something new. They are looking for someone to make their shallow dreams come true. They are looking to find someone to help drag them out of the mud.

Or in my case, the situation is a bit more complex. When I broke off the A, OW tried to drag me into the mud. She considers all she is doing --- or considering doing --- as revenge; but probably is making me out to be the villian. To her, I drew first blood by breaking away. She is now retaliating.

OP don't think straight. They can pour it on, but they can't pour it out.

But enough about OW! That miserable c-nt! Thank goodness, she is out of my life!

From this day forward, my W time and feelings are more important than anything. For crying out loud, she saved my life in so many ways. By my calculations, that means it belongs to her as much as it belongs to me.

I am here throughout the day, so let me know what I can do to make my W feel special. What can I do to get life back on track and move on to a new chapter. I was thinking about marrying her again. Perhaps going to the zoo I'm sort of weird that way, in case you haven't noticed. I'm also a big animal lover) or or a cemetary somewhere and renewing our vows.

I want my W to feel that she is more than just a diamond in a pile or rocks. She is MY diamond. She is my treasure. I want her to feel loved. How do I make some one feel LOVED after all I have done?

I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sad. I'm not mad. I'm not confused.

I'm excited about the future. I know W is going to bring up the past, and I'll talk to her all night long if she wishes; but what more can I do to get her to think about the future?

Wk

[ June 04, 2004, 02:09 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

wk, i might be the only one that thinks this and i could be way off base...

i don't for one minute believe you confessed to your wife.

FL -

I thought the same thing!

BB2

I will not be returning to this site ever again.

Instead of help, I get this crap.

What reasons would I have to write as much as I did? How would that help me? How would that help anyone?

I'm not sure what you thought you would accomplish by your comments; but if it was to drive me away, it worked.

Bye.

FL,

I'm with you. Didn't believe it from the start!

That's helpful from WK <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Now all the posts are gone.

I was going to read them again to see what I thought.

Ah well......

Jenny

[ June 04, 2004, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

Thanks to some of my REAL friends here, who e-mailed me personally and asked me to re-post what I deleted, I have done so.

Have fun tearing someone to shreds who tried to improve their situation. Apparantly some of you get some sort of sadistic pleasure ripping into others. I am glad W has not come here yet. She has enough pain without seeing her H being ridiculed and scorned.

Don't bother addressing me any more. Say what you wish. Think what you wish. I have no desire to return.

The posts will be back p in a minute or so.

[ June 04, 2004, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: whiteknight1 ]

WK,
what happened? Haven't been here since I posted
to you the other night. Don't leave, you need
help.

so why do you care what i (and perhaps a few others) might be thinking? sounds like you have plenty of REAL friends here who believe in you. why run away from them because of a small minority?

remember, you can easily just not read my posts, just like you have told others who have not liked the graphic details in your posts.

of course the decision is yours to make. good luck with everything.

I had some red flags going off, too. I didn't hear hardly anything about his W's feelings, reactions, anything. Just a whole lot about WK. And he was laying it on pretty thick.

Why would he lie? Hm, why did he have an A? Because he's all fogged up? Because he wants acceptance? Because he wants people to tell him how great he is? Because he wants people to think good things about him? For all the other reasons people lie?

And, as FL stated, why would he get so bent out of shape if he really did tell his wife? What's the big deal. He could have just said, "I'm sorry you think I am trying to "fool" people here. Could you explain why you think that?" Or something similar.

Why freak out? Maybe I am just having Sarie flashbacks . . . And maybe that isn't appropriate to say here, but on his thread, what the he!!. Just turn the channel, right?

SS

Actually, I thought WK's writings in his first post were a bit too much Collins' romance/graphic novels to be real. Who knows? Unless his wife is totally numb, drugged, etc. there's no way, no how that she's responding the way WK says on this thread.

this is all so
UNBELIEVABLE!
people-give him
a break! how can
anyone ever be
helped on this
board if we are
overly critical!
WK-PLEASE dont
give up-stay in
touch-who will
you chat with?
come back-I want
you too-or you
can do the
unthinkable to all
here & email me.

i'm willing to take WK at his word. if he is making up story, the one who pays the price is him. he knows this. we have to trust him until he gives us reason not to. proceed WK.

WK..I'm sorry if my short comment offended you about not telling your w the details that you have given here. Thankfully my H never asked for details. That would only hurt them more in my opinion. I do hope that you come back to post though.

Holy Cow <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Talk about give a person the benefit of the doubt!

Hope my advice didn't offend WK, if so ignore my post, thats cool.

Cheers
mtheart.

WK - I am sorry you are offended but really all the posters are trying to help you get out of the fog. They are trying to steer you in the right direction and hopefully you will see the light and know what they are saying is true.

You need to stop idealizing this OW - turn away from her and to your wife. I am a fws too - I read the posts everyday, it helps me see the bs point of view, I can see myself in alot of the posts by ws too = please reconsider leaving this forum. I think in the long run the other posters are trying to help you - Sandy