character issues in negotiating? - 04/03/09 08:06 AM
Hi
I have been married for almost 10 years, with two kids 4 and 7. My wife and I both work and do a lot of team tagging - you take the kids while I work etc...
I sometimes think we are better at doing that than at actually operating together as a team and a family.
We are currently trying to negotiate some time abroad for the family because of work demands and the issue is the timing. I find myself backing away from my position when I sense that it creates a conflict. This is not uncommon, and sometimes I have attributed it to character differences - she tends to be more forceful, I tend to be more mild mannered.
I m afraid that I will end up agreeing to something that does not suit my needs, but can't seem to get past the withdrawal and conflict stages to the enthusiastic stage.
I also find it very hard to just state my needs and the accompanying emotions.
I hate the fact that I tend to back down and yet I see myself doing it. How to get to true dialogue? Is the character issue real or is there other stuff going on, other issues I need to focus on to get to a good place with this.
thanks!
silverhorse
I have been married for almost 10 years, with two kids 4 and 7. My wife and I both work and do a lot of team tagging - you take the kids while I work etc...
I sometimes think we are better at doing that than at actually operating together as a team and a family.
We are currently trying to negotiate some time abroad for the family because of work demands and the issue is the timing. I find myself backing away from my position when I sense that it creates a conflict. This is not uncommon, and sometimes I have attributed it to character differences - she tends to be more forceful, I tend to be more mild mannered.
I m afraid that I will end up agreeing to something that does not suit my needs, but can't seem to get past the withdrawal and conflict stages to the enthusiastic stage.
I also find it very hard to just state my needs and the accompanying emotions.
I hate the fact that I tend to back down and yet I see myself doing it. How to get to true dialogue? Is the character issue real or is there other stuff going on, other issues I need to focus on to get to a good place with this.
thanks!
silverhorse