What should I do? - 01/18/12 02:11 PM
I'm new here. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have two little boys. I love him but the fall has been stressful and we were drifting apart.
We met a couple last year that we really hit it off with. The husband became attracted to me, which I did not realize at first until he touched my briefly shoulders one evening. I tried to ignore these advances and other very subtle advances, but we did keep seeing them as a couple. We were never alone and he did this with all present. I hoped it would go away by ignoring him but he and I have a lot in common and really get along. Every time I try to say something I loose my nerve or someone comes by because we are never alone. I was scared to say anything. I have never been in this situation before. But now it was like I was tied to him by this dilemma. And our interaction was mostly about our interests. No intimate talking, no verbal acknowledgment of this. We did stare at each other a couple of times and that was intense.
The four of us continued to occasionally see each. 6 times in 4 months but I realized the last time we saw each other that I needed to ignore him altogether that night but he kept making comments and trying to get my attention. I felt like he was starting to loose control of himself but exposing his attention to his wife or my husband.
So I told my husband that I was attracted to his man and that nothing has happened between us. He was understanding and felt that I could just tell him to back off and he would stop.
So I called my friend's husband privately (which I have never done before) after a three weeks of no contact. I said that I wanted to make sure that he understood that nothing is going on and he denied all of the attention. I told him specifically about touching me and winking at me made me uncomfortable but he said would turn the page and the conversation ended well. He asked me and I told him that I told my husband about his advances.
He called me back two hours later. He told me it was the worst 2 hours of his life and that no one had ever accused him of this before. So I now feel very bad that my inaction led to him been so attached to me. He told his wife about my accusation and she was "taken aback". I have not heard from them since. It has been a week and I feel very badly for causing this chaos for my friends.
I have done a lot of reading and have turned my attention to my own marriage but feel very stressed at meeting my friend. I feel like I had to stop this and it was the right thing to do but where do I go from here?
What do I say to my friend?
We met a couple last year that we really hit it off with. The husband became attracted to me, which I did not realize at first until he touched my briefly shoulders one evening. I tried to ignore these advances and other very subtle advances, but we did keep seeing them as a couple. We were never alone and he did this with all present. I hoped it would go away by ignoring him but he and I have a lot in common and really get along. Every time I try to say something I loose my nerve or someone comes by because we are never alone. I was scared to say anything. I have never been in this situation before. But now it was like I was tied to him by this dilemma. And our interaction was mostly about our interests. No intimate talking, no verbal acknowledgment of this. We did stare at each other a couple of times and that was intense.
The four of us continued to occasionally see each. 6 times in 4 months but I realized the last time we saw each other that I needed to ignore him altogether that night but he kept making comments and trying to get my attention. I felt like he was starting to loose control of himself but exposing his attention to his wife or my husband.
So I told my husband that I was attracted to his man and that nothing has happened between us. He was understanding and felt that I could just tell him to back off and he would stop.
So I called my friend's husband privately (which I have never done before) after a three weeks of no contact. I said that I wanted to make sure that he understood that nothing is going on and he denied all of the attention. I told him specifically about touching me and winking at me made me uncomfortable but he said would turn the page and the conversation ended well. He asked me and I told him that I told my husband about his advances.
He called me back two hours later. He told me it was the worst 2 hours of his life and that no one had ever accused him of this before. So I now feel very bad that my inaction led to him been so attached to me. He told his wife about my accusation and she was "taken aback". I have not heard from them since. It has been a week and I feel very badly for causing this chaos for my friends.
I have done a lot of reading and have turned my attention to my own marriage but feel very stressed at meeting my friend. I feel like I had to stop this and it was the right thing to do but where do I go from here?
What do I say to my friend?