What do YOU do to give yourself a lift?Resurrection of this post for EWS especially

I thought it might be nice for us to share some of the things we do when we are feeling low, and need a boost!My favourite is a big bubble bath, with a glass of wine, fine music playing and a book. I'll soak for an hour and come out feeling calm, clean and confident again.
What's yours? C'mon guys!!![ February 15, 2002: Message edited by: Nina too ]

I pray often. I excercise often ( daily) I try to let go. I try to "plan to be happy", i.e. what would I like to do? I read. I try to stay positive. It still proves to be a challenge to get sufficient "lift".

I exercise, read, and frankly lately i have found this site to be a great source of inspiration.Although i must admit, Nina's approach sounds pretty darn good!

I swipe 10 grand out of the savings, fly to Hollywood and find a REALLY GOOD plastic surgeon!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

"Ok- make these fuller, lift this RIGHT here, tuck that, and TAKE ALL OF THIS off please" :POh- that's not what you meant????Well Darn!LOL

LOL,LOL,LOL Toolateforme!!!Laughter does give the best lift of all! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Do you know that if you force yourself to smile, it actually helps (something to do with the smile triggering feel-good hormones).Thanks guys!Any more contributions? C'mon, we might give someone a great day just by sharing.Nina

Just bumping this up a bit....c'mon you guys, are you tring to tell me that you DON'T do anything to chill out???!!!???

There's a book I love, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. In it, she talks of taking yourself on an "artist's date" once a week. It is to rekindle the artist in you. It is wonderful for the soul, and I think it fits into this thread.It is one day a week, as long as possible (from 1/2 hr. to all day) to go to a museum, a thrift shop, a class, the beach, even the bath you mentioned, Nina... the only thing is, you have to do whatever it is ALONE.It is amazing how a day in a museum alone can change your outlook on life!------------------ ~SherylAnd we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

I live in a small Kansas town (350 people) in the country surrounded by agriculture fields. Everynite that I don't have my girls, I go for a walk at dusk. I walk down our main road and it's surrounded by tall trees, through the trees I've seen some absoluty amazing picures in the sky. The dusk sky can reveal some awe inspiring clouds not to mention I can see every star in the sky. Depending on the time of year, I may hear the wheat or sunflower swaying in the breeze. While on these walks I look to the heavans and talk with Him. Sometimes my walks only last 30 minutes and sometimes they stretch into 3 hours.Everytime after finishing a walk, I feel this tremendous weight lifted from my shoulder and if only for a moment I feel peace.------------------ Love, Bill-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!- -Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

You know, I think that I would love to take a bubble bath, and read a novel.I haven't bathed completely alone since I took a business trip six months ago. And the thing I was most excited about doing during the trip was to take bubble baths alone in the hotel.AAHHHHHHAnne

I take my dogs for a walk around the orchards and pray. I also hang out with friends, play footbal or baseball with their kids. I e-mail to long lost friends and puts a smile on my face when they reply. I also read most of the messages on this board. Today I have some friends coming over to my house and I am going to BBQ some traditional food from my birth country. That would be my boost for today.Tacsi

Wow, great ideas, sound so good for the soul.Bill, I used to live in the country in Australia, and do EXACTLY what you do. I'd forgotten the peace it could bring. I now live in the crime capital of the world, where sunset walks can be hazardous to your health, but I used to walk every morning, before split-day. I should get into that again.Nyneve, I did a sub-major in Art in college, but haven't bothered much since...food for thought. Do you know though, that I've seen this great jigsaw of about three thousand pieces of Degas' ballet dancers, and I think I'll go buy it. I love Degas, and the whole impressionist period, and I love jigsaws because they are SO absorbing when you need NOT to think. Anne, you go girl!!! Actually I haven't done the bath thing in a while, so I may just take myself off-line tomorrow night and do the same. No tonight, because THIS is relaxing me just now.I like this idea...c'mon guys!!!

Tacsi I didn't mean to leave you out, you must have posted near the time I was writing....I have a good girlfriend who MAKES me get out. She has the BTDT's as far as this goes, except she was the WS, interesting listening to her. But I go DO THINGS and it makes it better, cos I'm proud that I could get out there. You be proud too!!!Nina

Thanks Nina! I feel like I am around a bunch of old friends on this board. That alone is uplifting!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

By the way, what is BTDT?Cheers, Tacsi

Hi Nina: Most of mine are already posted but here goes.-I work out (very hard) when I am pissed off -I take a bubble bath with lit candles, classical music and a glass of wine, to just chill and meditate -I write poetry to express my feelings, I can not say outload -I go shopping when I am depressed -clean house to relieve Major stress -When I am feeling alone, I call a friend I have not spoken to in a while to chat. (sometimes that is my mom)I am sure there is more but those are the main ones.Michelle

Tacsi BTDT - Been there done that.I like to meditate, too EWS, and before the split, I was going to a great group mediation. I can't go now because I have to stay home with the kids. So now I do it on my own.

Well at the point when I was REALLY mad at H I took a friend to the mall and spent one thousand dollars on myself that day. We'd been married 15 yrs and I always put kids and H's needs before my own all the time. Look where that got me. It felt REALLY GOOD! But since I cant keep that up on a regular basis- I go to starbucks every day for a venti latte and a piece of lemon cake. I go to two womens Bible studies per week. And I play the Dixie Chicks song over and over- "If I fall youre going down with me!!!" as loud as possible! lifeismessy

Nina Too:I think self meditation is good. There are some tools I use you may want to try, if you have not. First it is important not to be disturbed. So if you have to meditate after the kids go to bed, so be it.Candles: Lavender cented. (have a book on candles, cents are important) Music: nothing with words. I just got a Cd of quiet nature. It' great. Lights out. Sit up straight(the floor is best, but the tub works too.) Shut the phone, tv everything else off. Breath in through your nose, out through your mouth, slowly.It's just the best for the soul!

Hi Michelle, Yes, I do most of those things, and soul healing is all about why I do it. Since I've been doing it, I have become much more aware of my inner self.I don't play music, however because I find it distracts me, I just have absolute quiet. Three other things I have started doing again, left them alone for a while because it was too hard to concentrate; I sing in a musical theatrical group, I play piano (I have only been playing for six months, but already tackling "Fur Elise" and some Mozart and Bach) and I also play guitar. These things make me feel worthwhile and competent at SOMETHING when this situation has made me feel worthless.I answered your other post, gosh I hope you're taking notes here today!!!Love Jacky

I play ice hockey. Learning how to fly an airplane. Swim. Sit and watch the stars. Play with my cat. Talk to my sons who live with me. Go to Borders and read. Watch a game on TV.

ken1113 brought up a very, very valuable asset - Tess, my cat! Oh, how I love to hold her, hear her purr... and before her there was Tabitha and Friskie and Jada... who would lay in my lap and lure me into dreamyland...And there was Bo, and Naomi, and Mandy, my dogs over the last few years... who loved me despite my shortcomings...Animals are such healers!!!!!

I grab a beer, sit outside on my deck steps at night and listen to the tree frogs. When it's clear the stars are nice too.

It's amazing how many of us like to look at the stars. I used to do it all the time in Australia. Don't do it much here....I got out of the habit in Mozambique, where there are 20 million malaria infested mosquitos waiting for some night fodder!!!

The stars are very humbling. The expanse of the universe puts our complicated lives in perspective.

Tonight the sky was wonderful. I just sat on my back porch and looked up at the Big Dipper (I hope I spelled it right [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

). It was just amazing. I could have spent my whole night just looking at the stars. I felt relaxed and at peace with myself. What an amazing experience! Well, I better go now. See you all tomorrow. Good night.Tacsi[This message has been edited by Tacsi (edited August 03, 2001).]

Hi all! Great thread, Nina! I go out in the garage, open the door, and play the 5-string banjo (3 finger bluegrass style). Before long, the neighborhood kids start streaming in and get to dancing around and cutting up. They LOVE my rendition of "Whoa, Mule" LOL.Considering that I play professionally almost every night...it may seem strange that doing this is a pick-me-up....but it is! I guess making those kids laugh and smile is the difference. Instead of the drunks I usually play for in the clubs. Sometimes my daughter brings out her mandolin and the lady across the street brings her guitar and we have a regular "pickin' party" in that garage!Who's next?! What picks YOU up????Love to all, Xman

I like to think about how good I look and how much my wife is going to lose if we don't work this out. Sometimes vanity is good.

Thanks for bringing up this topic. I have been so full of extreme despair lately & tired of keeping up the battle to save this marriage. Tired of being hurt & treated cruelly. H not giving 1 ounce. I know "work on yourself". ANd Ive heard to ask myself every day "what am I going to do for myself today? but I have such a hard time coming up any answers! I go to the bookstore alot but think I better stay away from the self help/relationship section from now on!!ANyway, I think working in the yard - some gardening stuff could be another idea. Its 100+ degrees lately, so I've just been looking in some landscaping books, but its an escape from the cruel mean workd for a while! Fantasize about what my yard could look like.

I spend time with someone else. I enjoy their views and if necessary even goto the point of spending time with a opposite sex friend. It's amazing the warm wishes and quick recharge you can get from that. I know it may not be right but after the time is spent i feel built up again. I have always felt judged and put down by him. He has never really apoligzed from his heart. Maybe because he truly believes that his way is the only way.It's hard letting go. We spend time together occasionally but more and more i feel that we are incapitable. I feel almost depressed to be around him. I especially hate the way he aviods certain things i would like to talk about. Not at any one time ALL THE TIME!So ya spending time with other people or working and getting praise really helps me.

I really like the idea about going to a museum! I'm a musician and I know that channeling the emotions into a work that fits can be a wonderful release and add something unique to the performance. Finding an artpiece that speaks to you the right way at the right moment can really lift you and remind you that just being able to FEEL anything is a gift. I plan on try the museum idea when I have a free day! I have not been to any of the museums since moving to my current city. DS

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nyneve: [B]There's a book I love, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It's an excellent book! In the midst of the crud I went through the whole book and learned sooooooooooo much about myself...the one that got *lost* along the way.

Gratitude Journal!! On my really bad days (ok..and on some not so bad days) I have a small blank notebook that I keep in the bathroom. (Yes...the bathroom, 'cause I want other people to read it and start thinking of the *little* things in life)One thing that I noticed is that since I started being *grateful* and my children noticed my book in the bathroom...THEY are starting to be thankful for the little things in life.

Thanks everyone for answering so far....just bumping!

I clean out a cabinet or closet. If I find anything that belongs to H I box it up and send it to him. I also rearranged every room in the house to make it mine.These are my ways of making my life mine. It feels good to know that I am in control. (at least sometimes)\Martha

Hi Michelle,You mentioned this post today in your email, so i found it for you...Hopefully it will help others out there, too.Love and light,Jacky

play with my n scale trains
talk with my IM buddies
walk
try to pray, but that makes me feel foolish sometimes
play with my n scale trains
work in my woodshop
program
play with my n scale trains
talk to friends
play with my n scale trains

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by vb_guy:
play with my n scale trains
talk with my IM buddies
walk
try to pray, but that makes me feel foolish sometimes
play with my n scale trains
work in my woodshop
program
play with my n scale trains
talk to friends
play with my n scale trains
dream of getting back in the cockpit and flying again
<hr></blockquote>

Oh, I like to write poetry, too! I also remember all the wonderful friends who are supporting me, get out my pictures from Scotland and remember all the wonderful times I had, write in my journal, punch my punching bag, work out on the weight machine, talk to my mom and my brother, read a good murder mystery, work on my websites, take a nice hot shower.....think about my dreamhouse - that nice cozy little dreamhouse with flowers and a garden. I want to take some photography classes, too. I love taking landscapes.

I go to my emergency vicodin stash - no wait - that's Brett Farve.I read. Anything, everything, just to get wooshed away into another time or place. Elizabeth

Color in coloring books with my 5 yr. old D. She enjoys the time spwnt with her, and coloring is very calming and fun!!! Why do we quit when we grow up???? Is it a rule. Well, I like breakin' it.

I like to put everything aside and get down on the floor with my little girl and play barbies. Just watching her play and get excited about the little things in life is always uplifting for me.I also like to sneak in my children's room while they are sleeping. Just watching them sleep, brings great peace to me. When the children are not here, I like to take long walks. As to sunsets, I used to live in Florida and there were some amazing sunsets over the river at night. I only see beatuful sunsets every now and again in Atlanta, and I always stop and show the children how pretty the sky looks.And, like most of the others here, I exercise and run really hard when I'm stressed out. Thanks for mentioning puzzles. Those do get me hooked. I think I will start one when my sister moves next week to keep my mind occupied.

Hmmm, lets see,1) playing soccer,
2) sailboat racing
3) playing backetball
4) playing tennis
5) playing ice hockey
6) refereeing soccer
7) studying to advance my consulting career
8) talking to my girlfriend
9) watching the olympics
10) reading MBsg

WOW,vb_guy must REALLY love those n scale trains...so much so that he had to tell us about it twice!!!! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] "Train whistle blowing.........makes a sleepy noise"Oh, I forgot,you guys probably don't know that song. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I can add that now I am in my own (rented) house I can get out in the garden. It is lovely right now, there are a lot of surprise summer blooming plants.Love and light,Jacky