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I firmly believe this ties into marriage. If you do not know how to spot deception, you are already defeated. I used alot of my military tactics to uncover my wife's pre-fling. Plus, it has put the fear in GOD in the OM. He now knows what double-tap means.  He has cut all ties with her until she resolves her issues.
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 wooo - hoooooooo
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bumping for the newbies as well.....
not2fun
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Go MiMi Go MiMi... LOL... Another must read.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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I'm ashamed to say I've never read it.
It sounds like the perfect book for me.
Divorced
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Warfare is the Tao of deception.
Thus:
Although you are capable, display incapability.
When committed to employing your forces, feign inactivity.
When your objective is nearby, make it appear distant; when distant, create the illusion of being nearby.
Display profits to entice them.
Create disorder in their forces and take them.
If they are substantial, prepare for them.
If they are strong, avoid them.
If they are angry, perturb them.
Be deferential to foster their arrogance.
If they are rested, force them to exert themselves.
If they are united, cause them to be separated.
Attack where they are unprepared.
Go forth where they will not expect it.
These are the ways military strategists are victorious. They cannot be spoken of in advance. Tao of deception -
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A "Must Read" for everyone here.
Thanks!
D-Papers served May 8th, 2009
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BUMP up for Carp - BE STEALTH
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Have never read the book but it's on our shelf from H's days in the military. After reading this thread I want to have a read.
I viewed my H as my enemy on Dday. Wasn't really interested in saving my M on Dday, but I did want a better father for my children so my mindeset was to use military tactics in a way. In Basic Training a person is torn down so that he can be built up again for the better. Not the MB way but that's the route I took.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Bumped for the brave amongst us
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Thank you for bumping.
I hadn't read the thread before.
It seems I am doing the art of war by my natural instinct (for once, my instincts have been well directed!)
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2. I told my WW last spring approximately how much she spent on average the last three years. Of course, I deliberately exaggerated the numbers cause I knew she would pass the information along to OM. I deceitfully attacked his insecurities of being low income and unable to afford my wife.
3. I told my WW last spring an approximation of what she'd get if she divorced me knowing again she'd pass that information along to OM. I deceiptfully and grossfully underestimated the amount thereby disillusioning OM of the notion that he may be "stealing away" my wife AND my/our money. He'd thought he had hit the jackpot.
4. I deceiptfully relied upon my understanding and knowledge of my wife and her inclination to pass those "secrets" along to OM. In fact, I listened in while I deceiptfully tape recorded her conversations with OM.
In the end, OM (who was single) got the hint and moved on to greener pastures. He got married to some other local single girl within 2 or 3 months of ending it with my wife.
All is fair in love and war. No difference. Be an honorable member of soceity, be empathetic and humane but the infidels deserve no such respect until they end their evil ways. Sometimes saving your spouse from eternal damnation requires one to get their hands dirty from time to time.
I'd do it again...too...only better.
Mr. Wondering
p.s.-Mortarman had a great post on "lying" quite some time ago. If I recall he said just avoid "lying" blantantly, but play your cards close to the chest. Be sneaky but not dishonest I think was the jest. I LMAO at this It is a war. A battle Well played sir. Of course after you get your WW back and OM shows his hand shes back in the same camp with you. Perception of validity is more influential than true validity. I think that quote "Keep your friends close and your enemys closer" might have been Macavelli. I don't believe in machevelli or using his philosphy but if it worked to get my wife back home and out of the hands of another man I would use it in an instant. His most famous one was " The end justifys the means" I think.
Last edited by sortingitout; 12/01/09 06:18 AM.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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BUMP for Female Warrior Plan A'er Missy![[Linked Image from planetsmilies.net]](http://planetsmilies.net/sport-smiley-5514.gif)
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BUMP for all Marriage Builders Warriors
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Wow...Just wow...
This thread should be read by everyone on the MB Forums.
Pep - your kung fu is strong.
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Wow...Just wow...
This thread should be read by everyone on the MB Forums.
Pep - your kung fu is strong.
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Yes ma'am, I got that from Scot's thread.
You are a very good Affair Destruction technician LOL!
BTW, it was interesting to see that Scot was fighting her own instincts while trying to do her Plan A. It's a real struggle to be strong and follow the MB Plans while your heart and mind are tested to the breaking point. It's nice to see that my reactions were not abnormal. (For example, when I outted myself to my H about the cell phone...Well, Scot did the same exact thing ...her H even found the first keylogger she installed...but it didn't mean she couldn't keep snooping.)
Not quite done reading the thread (it's mad long) but I am going to continue...Seeing the journeys here gives me a basis for finding the courage / stregth to step back and not allow my emotions to get in the way of practicing good MB.
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I see how the Art of Warfare specifically applies with Plan A. I do wish I had done a better job being stealth, but I did do a decent job.
BUT, how do we apply this to Plan B? I have no contact AT ALL with WH now that I am in Plan B. While I do know this infuriates him, I don't know what else I am supposed to be doing...
BW (me - 45)
WH - 45
2 DDs
Married 20 years, together 25
DDay Spring 2009
WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW
Plan A - 4 months
Very dark Plan B Fall 2009
WH files D Summer 2010
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So many parts apply to Plan B
Just one of many is
Prepare the Field
1. Affect the conditions of morale that favor your success
2. Secure a position of invulnerablity
3. Assemble the means, the skills, and the authroity to succeed
4. Deploy and secure the elements of mystery
5. Deploy the means to obtain and use foreknowledge
6. Monitor the situation for changes in the opportunity or threat
5 and 6 basically mean being prepared if the other side ever agrees to the conditions of surrender.....you are prepared to transition to recovery OR if they never agree to the conditions...you prepare for your own, more amazing oppurtunities in life!
Last edited by reading; 04/02/10 12:50 PM. Reason: came back to fix typing errors...lol
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