I also have emails from her to him asking if she can work in there on homework. Nothing from him to her suggesting it...again--no proof.

Even IF nothing has happened between the two, it is highly inappropriate behavior. The 16 year old is vulnerable, and needs your help.

You don't have proof that he lets her stay in there?

And with the door closed?

What have they been told?

It is very inappropriate in my opinion too but sadly not uncommon. Our male teachers are even allowed to have female TA's on their preps (alone in their rooms). It is a perfect storm if you ask me but no rule violations have occurred...no policy violations.

I'm 100% certain nothing has happened physically.

Yes!

YES!
Have you talked to them? Do they know the details?

I don't have access to that information since she isn't my student and has never been. Confidentiality laws...

It doesn't matter if nothing has happened physically. Any emotional bond they are creating will haunt her for years. She needs protection.

Have you exposed the details about him to her parents?

You are letting that girl be taken advantage of.

Nothing but excuses on how and why you can't, (Won't) take that child out of harms way.

Did you WRITE A LETTER to the Administration, revealing IN WRITING what hid sexual predatory past reveals?

Did You C.C. the upper level School Board with the same information?

Have you asked one of your friend teachers for this childs contact information for her family?

Have you asked this young girl herself for her parents contact information?

ANYBODY who tried and really wanted to find out that information, especially being an insider such as yourself could and would find out in less than 1 hour.

Have you ever asked any if this girls friends how to contact her parents?

LTL

How is this my fault when administration has been notified? I have voiced my opinion to him. I have monitored his emails for inappropriate behavior. I go into his room unannounced to check on the situation even though seeing him makes me physically anxious and ill at times. If I was keeping some little dirty secret I could see that but I'm not. If I had anything else to bring to their attention...I would. I have always exposed his betrayals. I have also told my counselor who is married to his counselor and has an agreement they can discuss our situations with each other--so it is on their radar. Both of our counselors are certified sex addition/partner counselors.

It's getting really hard to not get defensive when I came on here for support and HAVE made sure the appropriate people know about the situation along with the history.

I also filed for divorce when I hadn't for the last 14 years of this sick cycle/drama because of this situation. That's a HUGE step for me. None of the affairs/neglect/mistreatment/trauma made me file but finding out he told this 16 year old we were separated did.

Divorce is filed but stalled

Yes you did file for divorce but why stalled?

Waiting for the revisions from the lawyer...

So you have talked to her parents about all the details?

Defying my administration by taking matters in my own hands would get me fired and sued. They are properly notified so that is their call. Breaking confidentiality laws could get both me and the district sued.

So you would let a 16 year old girl be taken advantage of.

Confused teacher,

I am sorry our comments feel like an attack. We are not intending to attack you.

If this was your child, you would want to know.

She is being softened up.

This is a very urgent situation; we are in a more objective position that you are since you are inside of the situation.

Please find a way to tell her parents.

I have been in your shoes. Please tell her parents.

The lawsuit would be initiated by who? Her parents would be the injured party, and why would they sue you for telling them this information about their daughter?

Alternatively, you could not get fired or sued for reporting suspicious activity to the police, which would then prompt notification to her parents so they could protect her. [I am not an attorney, but there are plenty that post to these boards that can advise if this is incorrect.]

It is not a crime to report suspicious situations.

If they investigate and find nothing, great. That's what their job is. In the process, her parents would become aware of the situation.

Is this how you handle problems? Wait around for someone else to take action? This is why you find yourself in a marriage with a known playah after 14 years on this board. You don't handle problems like an adult.

YOU should be in HR's office YOURSELF telling them about this and asking for transfer to another school.


You CHOSE not to change. You don't address and resolve problems.


How about exposure? How about getting moved to another location for now?