Part of recovery does require patience. One thing in your favor is that the A can not survive indefinitely. Infidelity is always short term.

Learn to use the shortcomings of the A to your advantage. Plan A and plan smart.

You have more in your court as far as support and help than the A does. Also, the WS and OP have to continually live in fear of getting caught. Another device that has been helpful for me is 'doubt'. When a person has to live in doubt or is given doubt, they live in fear. It is hard to enjoy life anywhere for any reason while that fear hangs over their head.

With patience and in time, the BS gets the info they need. Where they are in their personal recovery at that time will determine the choices the BS will then be able to make (marital recovery or divorce).

Learn to take the lemons handed to you due to this A thing and turn them into lemonade. Sounds silly but like a lot of odd recipes, it works. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Continue your counseling. Penny and the MB gang are great. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It does get better.

Oh yea, learning to fog babble doesn't hurt either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

take care,
L.