It is hard at times because the outcome is so uncertain. My IC says that I need to focus on the here and now and let go of the outcome ... that is WAY easier said than done. There is a great book I just read (along the lines of Plan A) called "Light His Fire". The title is somewhat misleading because I think it is more about loving yourself so you can love others, but it gives some great tips on keeping your mate happy and interested. I compliment him daily and do all those things I mentioned before. In the process of doing these things for him, I have found that I actually like doing them. (For example - I was never much of a housekeeper, but now I'm going nuts b/c my dryer is broken and I am behind on laundry.) I am more feminine ... I was uber-feminine when we were dating, and I guess it all went out the window when our DD was born. I am enjoying be more of a woman in my own right, rather than basing my femininity on how attractive other men find me. So it has its ups and downs. Sorry for the ultra-long answer.