Well, last night he never came home! That's never a good sign. Found out he was at a friend's house ... I was up at 4am and never went back to sleep. He's out again tonight, and told me not to expect him home. He said if he comes home its a good surprise right? Whatever!

We talked a lot today though. I think he really felt bad about worrying me, but wasn't overly apologetic ... he even admitted that part of it was probably to prove a point to me. I explained that I would've appreciated knowing so that I could have been prepared to tell something to DD. He agreed to let me know from now on. But then tells me not to expect him home tonight!

He says he isn't sure that he can ever be "in love" with me again. He says he still loves and cares about me and is so grateful that our friendship has improved so much, but just isn't sure that he could ever be "in love" again - with me or anyone. So, I've been asked yet again to give him his space and act like we're divorced. It is clear that this M is still in tact out of pure convenience ... for him. While he's out all night, I'm taking care of the home and family, not to mention driving him to meet up and go out with friends. I realize that he is hurting and in excruciating pain and it must be difficult to try to meet the ENs of the person who broke your heart ... but I am getting nothing from him. He is RARELY meeting VERY FEW of my ENs. I feel selfish even hoping for him to, but I am feeling more empty than ever and find myself loosing faith. I need help! Any suggestions???


Happily Recovered from Double Infidelity! \:\)
DD1[about to turn 7]
DD2[due at X-mas]