Speaking from your husband's point of view, the pain of an affair is blinding, sharp, and the scars do not go away.

At times I feel as if I have Bipolar disorder, because the love/hate emotions swing frequently. Let me say one thing though, and it is one thing that has been said countless times to the betrayed spouses that frequent this haven, and I truly believe you would benefit from this advice:

Do not make yourself a doormat. Doing that makes you seem needy and being needy is not what attracted him to you in the first place. Be there for him, be available to meet his emotional needs, BUT DO NOT TURN YOURSELF INTO A SLAVE.

Stay in Plan A but don't be a panting little puppy following him around looking for the slightest bit of affection.

You do need to stop apologizing for what you have done; those are the type of words that if said too often, start sounding hollow and rehearsed. As my Pastor, Eric Olsen from Hudson, WI has said time and time again; "Not by words, by deeds."

It will take him at least two or three years to finally get to a comfortable point of healing in his heart, but he will never forget; be prepared for that.

I commend you on your efforts to save your marriage, and only wish my wife would do even 1% of what you are doing. She HAS moved out. She is STILL talking divorce. She STILL spends her free time off gallivanting instead of spending it with our children, and her cell phone is morphed into her body, whether it be text or calls.

Hang in there. As one of the veterans put so eloquently(I hope I get it right), "No one ever regrets doing what is right."

Everybody Lies.
Gregory House, M.D.