Ask him. It can't hurt to ask him if he's willing to do a phone counseling appointment with some people who are real specialists on helping M's survive after A's. Tell him it might help him decide what he wants to do since he is so conflicted.

It does sound like he's in a fog. Maybe he is having an revenge affair (not unheard of). Maybe he is so hurt he doesn't want to face you and the pain of it all. Maybe he is a conflict avoider who is trying to avoid you and ongoing conflict. Who knows? I would encourage you not to put your energy towards the "what if's" and "maybe's". Keep focused on your M and your plan.

If he won't agree to phone counseling-he will still be in the same place he is-and you can do it without him and be working on the only person in this M you have control over-you.

That can't be a bad thing.


"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!