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Well, I wasn't sure if you were saying those things or not. But while I think it is okay to vent, it is also important to control those feelings because eventually or subconsciously your feelings will be made known through your actions or attitude.

You are so right! I was distant yesterday because I got so caught up in what HE was doing that I wasn't focused on recovery.

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...it almost seems like he is in self destruct mode with certain things.

The few people that still talk to me are saying this too - we are all very worried about him!