My best friend of 14 years lives pretty far away - she is my confidant. The other one is here and is usually at all the same things he is with OW - she is my informant. My stack is in a locked drawer in my office.

My Plan A is taking a toll on me and its only been a few weeks! I can't imagine what you must be going through! Sometimes I feel like I am torturing myself ... then I realize what he must have gone through when he found out about my A. Then I think, well at least he didn't have to pretend like he didn't know about it, mine was over the minute it was discovered. But that's not really consolation to either of us, is it?

My IC thinks that I need to set a time limit to determine how long I am willing to go through this. She thinks his back-and-forth behavior is semi-abusive. I told her that I think he is just on an emotional roller coaster and is confused, so I am trying to be patient. But she says I still need to set a limit to how long I'll do that b/c if I don't she thinks it will set the tone for me being a doormat throughout our M (assuming it works out).

How did you determine your timeline for Plan A & B???