I think Dr. Harley's suggestion to you your husband is motivated by revenge is becoming more likely all the time and now your WH has upped the ante in a game designed to provoke you into something. Not only has he “gotten even” with you with OW#1, now he’s upped the ante with OW#2 and he’s waiting for your response. Has he let you see some posed (staged, as it were) pictures to anger you and drive you away?

You have that appointment with Steve H on Tuesday. If you can hold off and not react to this provocation, please get his professional advice (and be sure to let him know about Dr. Harley’s analysis).

Personally, I suspect your WH has given up and wants out of the marriage but lacks the internal fortitude to tell you. The staged photos were left where you would probably find them. They’re a shock to you and I have to wonder if he was nice to you all week long on the phone in order to heighten the impact. If he’s playing that game, it sure seems to be a very calculated, cruel one. It seems he wants to set up an adversarial relationship instead of recovering a warm, loving one…to what end?

For what it’s worth, he may be trying to goad you into filing for divorce first so he can be the “good guy” in the whole thing. The ends justify the means in his mind. It’s not a very mature thing to do, but it’s not unknown. You’d be the best judge about whether it’s in keeping with some part of his character.

TFC, it might be a smart thing to do if you were to make a preliminary visit to a mean, vicious, bulldog of an attorney. When a WS begins act in an “over the top” fashion, I think it’s always appropriate to protect one’s self and one’s finances to make sure the WS isn’t looting the checking and savings accounts, etc. I emphasize the word “preliminary” in this, okay?

Also, place those pictures in a safe place somewhere outside your home and in a place where your WH has no access. Perhaps save one of them to confront your WH with, if you choose that option. If worse comes to worst, those photos may come back to bite WH in the posterior, even if they are posed and “innocent.”

Things don’t look good at this point, TFC, but you will come out the other side of these difficulties sane and whole, as you yourself found out this week. Don’t let go of that determination. This is a big bump in the road, but it’s one you can recover from. Even if your WH has begun trying to push you away, that can be reversed with some good couples counseling. Let Steve H. be your guide in that, okay?

Hang in there, lady.