TFC,

With regard to respect, have you considered how he has handled your A? I mean do you respect him for remaining married? Do you respect him for putting up with your stuff while in the A?

You must understand that plan A is usually measured in months. Plan B is to preserve the love bank when it is starting to go dry.

I know it is hard to read yourself with regard to this, because clearly you found someone else more attractive to you than your H for sometime. So I really don't know how to tell you what your love bank should be for him. But, you will know.

It sounds as if your plan A is doing very well. It also seems from what you have said that it is working. You must recall that plan A is planting seeds and often does not end the A. Exposure (yes part of plan A) will help. Time will help because as Dr. Harley and others have observed most A's end. The issue is the state of things once the A does end.

Your plan A is to minimize the damage from your side, it is to plant seeds, and it is buying you time for the A to end.

Plan B just removes you from the game, but with the idea of slowing the lose of love. Again the idea is that the A will end, and when it does you want to have some love left in the bank for recovery. Recovery takes a lot of love and yes patience.

You are doing well, keep doing it. Oh and exposing when you find contact is NOT an LB unless it is accompaning by a good swearing out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You can state your truths without love busting.

God Bless,

JL