As you can see, TFC, there are a myriad of posters out here and some are more insightful than others. When in doubt, always go back to the principles Dr. Harley has expressed in SAA and on his radio show. BTW, you can "ignore" a user such as me, or anyone else, by simply clicking on my/his/her screen name and then clicking on "ignore this user."

Of course you should be working to smash this affair. It's not even remotely a control issue. It's standing up for the principles expressed in your wedding vows. It's what we do here on MB. We work to end adultery and help folks recover from it. Confronting your WH about his continued adultery is not a LB, btw. It's setting a boundary and every spouse has that God-given right.

When doubters seem to abound, TFC, go to Pepperband's "Carrot and Stick of Plan A" and Dr. Harley's SAA to refresh your memory of what you should be doing.

Hang in there, TFC. Trust your instincts and keep working for a true recovery in your marriage.