Mulan said this to Sadmo:
Sad, what you have here is a man who suddenly found out that yes he CAN have it all - he really can have all the fun of dating AND still have a wife and kids who will sit at the house and wait for him and be weeping with relief when he finally gets around to coming home!

I submit it's not the "free-wheeling single life" that he's so into - it's the idea that he is so great and so special and so different and such a king of the world that it's okay for HIM to be both married and single at the same time.

He loves, loves, loves sitting up on that fence, and you can be sure that his butt will stay firmly attached there forever unless and until something knocks him off.

Think hard and look close - what are you doing that enables him to sit up on that fence? What could YOU do to change this situation?

This is something that I've thought a lot about - or should I say festered over? While my H isn't "dating", he is acting like a single man. And I seem to be an "enabler" a lot of the time ... my H has all the benefits of being both married and single! And all because I'm too scared to upset the status quo - even though I can't stand the status quo!

This is the one major thing that makes me believe that doing the 180 plan might be to my advantage. However, my H can be very manipulative and he likes to turn things around on me. So, if I were to do 180 or Plan B, he would say something like - "Well, you're the one who wanted out. You're the one that quit [insert verb here - i.s. caring, having SF, etc]." He is masterful at this! Which is part of my fear in upsetting the status quo.

Last edited by time_for_change; 05/10/07 11:22 AM.