Part of the beauty of the plans....it doesn't require as much work as many BS might think

What did you mean by this, Orchid? It seems to be requiring a lot of work ... how can I make it easier on myself?

Once the BS makes their plan A self-improvements, they become the attractive spouse. Inner beauty surpasses outer beauty by a long shot. Though both are good, I'm pushing 50 so inner beauty is easier. - LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> (just kidding).

After this is done, the BS has relatively little to do. The Xws must then show their contribution which includes helping the BS and family heal.

The BS monitors and enjoys the benefits. If the BS finds they are doing most of the work, you've got to go back and reestablish the rules for recovery. Otherwise, this could lead to false recoveries which is quite painful.