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Not calling WH or texting (I can’t believe that’s actually a verb) him is one of the techniques in a good 180. Are you practicing already?

Not really. I just decided that I wasn't going to let myself feel rejected by him anymore.

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First things first. You need that program Orchid asked you about. I’ve been talking “plan” for a long time and I must apologize for not seeing you didn’t have as good a one as I assumed you did. The false recovery also threw me off and I’m very sorry I didn’t see well enough through the trees to discern the forest, to coin a pompous little phrase. A solid strategy of what you’re going to do, what boundaries you will enforce, what he must commit to, whether to extend Plan A, when to go to Plan B, etc., etc., are all good things to address.

I unfortunately mistook "plan" to mean Plan A or B. I need a "strategy" and that is my goal today. I've tried with boundaries before, but came up short. Plan A is not about having your spouse commit to anything right? Well, I am seeking a commitment to work on the M - in words and in actions. Plan A is not about expecting your needs to be met, right? Well, I've gone without many needs met for quite some time now and find myself longing for them to be met and hanging on for dear life every time one is met even in the smallest way. So, it seems to me that I made the mistake of sort-of saying "adios" to Plan A right after he ended his A. Should I have stayed in Plan A longer? I'm beginning to wonder ...

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I note your husband “gets closer” to you when he’s on a road trip. So…I wonder if you might consider reviving that idea and try to communicate some things you can’t say in person through a letter you sneak into his luggage or something like that? We’ve discussed he’s not ready for too much relationship stuff, but I wonder if he were to read about some areas related to that, but not quite on that topic? It’s a raw idea. Can you add something to it? Whatcha think?

Well, as I mentioned, I feel rejected every time I try to communicate in any way. How can I make attempts like these and expect no response?

I'm wondering if I should consider my first 3 months of Plan A as the period of time in which I needed to prove to him that I might be worth keeping around.

I would appreciate any guidance anyone has to offer. I am feeling rather lost with regards to my strategy, yet I feel I need one ASAP!

Last edited by time_for_change; 05/11/07 10:22 AM.