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Then I suppose that neither of us are a bargain


Others would strongly disagree with me on this... but I don't look at you as a BS... I know your H had an affair...but the only betrayals that I see are...

Your affair.
His betraying his own morals.

What I do see is a FWW that has been bitten by the very thing that she invited into her M. I liken it to having a fight... don't blame the other person for punching you in the nose after they have absorbed punches from you. In that case... even though you have a bloody nose, you are not the victim, but the instigator. Would it have been better for your H to turn the other cheek and not hit back.... yep... it would have allowed him to remain on the moral high ground. But how it impacts the person that brought this into the M in the first place, IMO, does not rise to the level of betrayal.