Cool. I see several things here.

See if you can get confirmation on this from your IC, but I think you did two important things here, and you got an important clue about communication with your husband.

First, you confronted the issue directly instead of letting it fester in your mind and spoiling your outlook on every day between now and Monday. It probably would have poisoned every interaction with your husband in that time frame, and there’s the potential it would also have influenced interactions between you and your daughter.

It’s much better to have the issue out in the open and settled one way or the other. Internalizing emotional issues almost always leads to unwanted, and usually some unnecessary pain. I think this is a good lesson you can benefit from, and one you should keep at the front of your mind from here on out. Don't suppress "stuff," okay? (At the same time, don't get confrontational when it's not necessary, right?)

Second, I think there’s a very good chance you standing up for what you wanted reinforced an idea in your husband’s mind that you care enough to want to spend time with him. Indirectly, I think that’s very important in helping him heal from your affair…which he still hasn’t done. Like that three-year-old we talked about, he’ll come back to touch the injury again and again, testing to see if your love is still there.

Finally, you spelled things out for him in very clear language and he didn’t have to interpret what you were trying to say. I don’t know if you never understood his desire for straight talk before or whether you’ve just gotten away from it, but most men are like your husband. We’uns don’t like having to ask if she meant this…no, no…she probably meant that…well, maybe…etc., etc. We get confused, TFC. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Don’t be circumspect because you only make us guys wonder where you’re coming from, okay?

A final note. How’s the issue of couples counseling or IC for husband coming? I think you two could make very fast progress if you had a couples counselor working with you and acting as a facilitator in conversations between you two. I think a few sessions with SH would be great. I have in mind the fact that your husband seemed to “get closer” to you a couple weeks ago on the phone (with the detachment from strong emotions the separation gives one). He might open up in a phone session more easily than he would be able to do with even the most non-judgmental counselor in person. Whatcha think?