Its hard to talk about them face to face when he's only home about 5 days a month.

Understood! Hmmmmm…TFC, I don't know anything about how things are organized when he is home, but perhaps you could bring up some of these issues after a little advance planning? Maybe (after he's had his second cup of coffee) something like, "Hey, I need you to help me with something, honey," and go from there?

How does your friend bring up such things in her relationship?