You say he's awfully mercurial lately and exhibited it again this morning. Strange days, indeed. I don't know what to make of it, TFC, particularly if you haven't detected anything overt in his records. What other methods of long distance contact could they have? Instant messaging or emails? Have any of his habits with respect to computer use changed recently?

Regarding asking him right now if he broke NC: If you want to confront him, it’s what you should do. If that’s what you need as that young woman your friend has been missing would do, then do it. Time for some Dutch Uncle stuff – be true to yourself…but considerate of others too, okay? Enough said.

An alternative could be to wait until he’s in the midst of another (shall we call it a tantrum?) and make a comment something like, “You’re acting just like you did when you were still (in contact with XXX). What’s going on here? Did you hear from her…or did you see her up in (wherever)?” It’s your call. You do what you need to do to clear the air.

With your expanded comments on this morning’s event, I think you handled it very well. Next time, tell us all this in one post, okay? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, I think tossing the “D” ball back in his court was exactly what was called for. Now, I don’t know how even your tone of voice was but if you did it calmly, without showing distress, it was excellent RB. Did you phrase it as Orchid suggests…appearing to agree while throwing him a curve ball?

{{Here’s an excerpt from the book about the continuing story of TFC and Hubby.

TFC turned to hubby with a concerned expression. “You know what, honey?” she said without any particular intonation. “If you keep acting like DD when she was two years old and throwing a tantrum, I think your suggestion of a “D” might be the best thing for everyone concerned.” }} <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Forgive my impertinence, okay?

Whether or not you did all that when you were shocked and stunned (it would be really, really hard to do it all when slapped in the face with his sharp recalcitrance)…it seems to have had the desired effect of taking him aback and calming him down. Good stuff.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to back off on IC recommendations and encouraging you get together with your best friend though. You’re not addressing my questions about IC and that makes me wonder what you’re holding back? Is there something I should know, TFC?

Stay strong, lady.