I took yesterday off from my life ... I hung out and relaxed with DD and didn't think about my M. I was so tired and irritable from constantly stressing about it, and H was out of town, so I chose to take a day off! It was fabulous! Of course today it was back to the ol' grindstone - housework, Plan A, getting DD ready for camp, checking up on WH. (Yes, I said WH!)

So, after some checking up here is what I've found:
1. H's last trip to California produced a new woman for him to talk to. One that he talked to at 5:30 am on his way back in town today!
2. Another girl from a trip a while back had asked if we were going through with our D ... after he told me this, I told him he didn't need to talk to her anymore. Well, she sent him a message the other day - I still haven't been told about it.
3. Another girl that I've taken issue with was on the phone list from the middle of the night last night too.
4. Email from a male friend asking about H renting a room at his house .... H's response? "I really want to get out, but I also am being reasonable in know that with my schedule I could and prob would fall short on rent some months ... Luckily, I am gone soooo much that the whole f'ed up marriage ordeal isn't that big of a deal right now."

He's clearly not interested in doing what it takes to save this M - well, he is to my face, but not behind my back. I have gone to IC, improved myself, cut off all male friends, gone nowhere other than work, church, & to run errands, etc. H has simply continued his life and only minimized the number of calls to other women. But they're still there - and the California girl I haven't even been told about!

I am so sick of this crap! His attitude sucks - he is in WH mode and I don't think I can tolerate it anymore. We are coming up on month 6 of my DDay/NC and month 2 of his. I am so close to telling him to go ... he's made it very clear he has no interest in working on this M. I am not angry or in an uproar over this revelation. I am calm and almost think I've accepted that he may choose not to be in this M. But I don't want to give up.